


The LOVE I found in ANOTHER YOU

by Nephele_08



Category: Big Bang (Band), GTOP - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 77,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nephele_08/pseuds/Nephele_08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered what happens to those opportunities that you didn't take? What about the choices that you didn’t favor... Have you ever thought about them? What if you actually took each and every one of those opportunities and choices? What if it was happening all at the same time but… FROM NUMEROUS KINDS OF WORLDS THAT COULD'VE POSSIBLY OCCURRED ALONG WITH A MULTIPLE VERSION OF YOU?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The Many Worlds Interpretation Theory  
> “For each possible outcome to an action, the world splits into a copy of itself. It's kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure book, but rather than choosing between either exploring the cave or making off with the treasure, the universe splits in two so that each action is taken. One vital aspect of the MWI Theory is that when the universe splits, the person is unaware of himself in the other version of the universe.” – howstuffworks.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is not grammatically perfect. So please pardon my English construction. Also, please bear with the typo errors. I'm really sorry about that.

Finally, the  **MADE**  world tour concert ends.

Bigbang is again a legend in the KPop industry. The world tour not only reclaims the group’s popularity but also managed to gain more hearts to flutter. The unending followers and subscribers on each of the members social network account is a solid proof of it.

The members, no matter how tired they were, always knew how to show their appreciation because as soon as their concert ends, all of them convey their gratitude via social media. VIPs always found their hearts mixed with emotions not just by their stage presence but also with the teasing that each of the members had in stored for them.

And because the last concert had been performed, the group’s agency prepared a party for them one Saturday night. The crowd consists mostly of their friends from other famous groups and celebrities whom they share bonds with. Families were also there to celebrate with them along with their special someone (if they have) were also present.

Seungri, as the most playful one, was seen with a model linked in his arm. Taeyang had Min Hyo Rin with him all throughout the night. Daesung, being the single that he is, was stuck with TOP. And lastly, GD, the social butterfly of the group, flew to every circle inside the venue.

As soon as all the members finally got together, they drank and played amongst each other as they turned into a party retard that night. Expectedly, all of them got drunk as hell. It was how they’ve always memorialized their success. Before they call it a night, GD gave his most emotional speech expressing his heartfelt gratitude to each one of them. The members, in return, gave him a hug as they all drunkenly made their way towards their services.

 _“I’ll ssseee youuu onn Monndayy hyuuung! Don’t lazzy your assss up for weeee are connn… sidered to beee da highhlight offf da showww. Seeee youuu onn Monnday, hyuuuunngg!”_  GD slurred as he waved at TOP and hopped inside his black elegant Rolls Royce. TOP waved back at him as he signals an affirmative nod.

TOP drank another bottle as soon as he got home because the trip slightly sobered him up. The bottle turned into 2 bottles of wine as he finally felt sleep sneaking up on him. He walked towards his bedroom and surrendered himself to sleep.

 


	2. How I met the dimensional GD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Too much cursing.

**T.O.P.'s POV**

 

_“Baby, come on. Wake up. You don’t want to be late for work now, do you?”_

_Jiyong._ How on earth did he get inside my room?

I tried to open my eyes but to no success. It must be because I have conditioned myself NOT to do anything this early or even do anything at all today. As far as I’m concerned, we don’t have anything on schedule.  _So why the fuck am I being talked outof bed? And why the fuck is Jiyong using thatpet name on me? Is he still drinking? Or is he still drunk?_

I lightly wiggled my head so that I could come to my senses but still, my eyes remained shut. Seriously. I am NOT a morning person. And of all people, this kid right here knewthat. It would take a lot of energy for someone to wake me up this moment because I have committedmyself to making love with my bed all day. So I shifted to the other side, grabbed a pillow, and covered my head to protect my ears from the leader’s pleas.

 _“Babe, it’s already 7AM. Come on… Get up… Or do you want me to help you wake up?”_  A giddy tone erupted from his mouth.

 _“What the fuck, Ji! Stop calling me that. It’s too fucking early to fuck up with me. Let me goddamn sleep and get the hell out of my room. And why are you even here?”_  I muttered with my eyes still closed.

**Silence.**

_Good._ I can finally sleep peacefully. Honestly, I cannot believe that Jiyong let me be. Being the leader that he is, he is considered to be the most persistentin our group. Aside from that, he is also the strictestwhen it comes to getting our asses off of our beds. That is why, he was always taskedto do the wake up call whenever we have an early morning schedule.

Just when I thought that it was safeto fly back to dreamland, I felt something brushed my lips. I was hoping and praying that it wasn’t what I thoughtit was until a warm breath tickled my lips forcing my eyelids to open widely. Kissing happened for the nextfive minutes, which left me stunned as the person continued the abuse.  _A smooch on my lips along with my cheeks, a smack on both my nose and my brows, and another peck on my eyelids…_ The person kept kissing me until I can no longer take it and pushed my abuser as far away from me as possible.

 _“Ow!”_  Jiyong said as he rubbed the back of his head.

 _“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Jiyong?”_ I agitatedly replied.

He laughed at me. He fucking laughed at my response. This kid’s going to get it. I motioned to him and grabbed his right arm.

 _“That’s it! Get the fuck outof my room,”_ I said as I dragged him towards the door.

 _“You are so cutewhen you’re acting like that, baby.”_ He said as he smiled at me like he wasn’t hurt a while ago.

 _“Can you fucking stop calling me that? It’sannoyingthe shit out of me.”_ I angrily said to him.

 _“But I’ve been calling you that for the past 10 years now, baby. It’s already a hard habit to break.”_  He said as he gave me his most adorable pout.

**_What the hell is wrong with him? Why does he irritate the hell out of me today? I assume he isn’t drunk because my nose says so. He doesn’t smell like alcohol. So what the fuck is causing him to act like shit this day? Wait a minute… Did he…_ **

_“What the fuck did you take, Jiyong? Are you on fucking meths? I told you to stay out of those shit. It won’t bring you any good, you dumbass! Tell me who the fuck gavethem to you and I’m gonna whack his fucking ass until he can no longer sit on a chair!”_  I said as rage elapsed in my blood.

Again, Jiyong laughed. He laughed harder as his small frame shook with mirth. As soon as his laughter ceased, he caressed my right cheek and said…

 _“I know you’re not a day person, baby. And I totally understand that you just woke up on the wrongside of the bed today… But you have to get a grip of yourself because you are going to be late.And you fuckinghate being late, babe. So please… Get your skinny ass inside the bathroom and shower with cold water to get your thinking straight.”_ He said as he yanked his arm from my grip.

I held my clench tightly and glared at him for his nonchalance. I cannot believe that he is still mocking me. I closed the remaining gap between us as I tried to reach his eye level and said…

_“Fucking stop acting like you’re my girlfriend! You, among all people knew that I do not engage in such exclusivity.And I am fuckingstraightas hell… You know that, Jiyong! So stop fucking my brains out, will you?”_

Jiyong stared at me in deep shock as he wriggles his arm from my grasp. He directed his eyes on the floor and wrapped his left hand to the arm that I just freed. He fixed his white button downs, fastened his belt, and looked at me with glassy eyes.

**_Is he about to fucking cry? What the fuck is wrong with him today?_ **

_“Apparently, I amnot your girlfriend because obviously, I am a guy.”_ He said as he stared at me with tears in the corner of his eyes. Then he continued…

 _“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Seunghyun. But I’m going to let this slip today because we are both going to be late. Now would you please go wash yourself up so we can eat breakfast and go to work? You told me last night that you have a 10 AM meeting today… And it’s already…"_ (Looks at his watch) "...  _8 AM… So please… I am begging you… Take a shower and meet me in the kitchen.”_  He smiled weakly as he ushered me to the bathroom.

Unthinkingly, I allowed him to guide me to the small room at the end of this vast rectangular area. Now, with my fully functioning brain, my eyes wandered around the space I’m in.  _Something is wrong here._ My bathroom isn’t at the left section of the room but on the right. Knowing of my conservative nature, my room isn’t as open as this one…  _With floor to ceiling glass walls, literally catching sight of everything inside it._  My room, in comparison to this one, is darklylit and morereserved. There is also one part missing in this room…  _My walk-in closet._

I was still eyeingthe room, looking for my fucking closet when we reached the bathroom. Jiyong shoved me inside as he prepared the shower with the right amount of hot and cold water. And because I was still in my shocked phase, he assembledall of my bath stuff starting from my toothbrush along with my favorite brand of toothpaste down to my classy black bathrobe. He fucking looked like a housewife right now… Taking care of his husband.  _Wait. I did NOT just say that, did I?_

**_But how the hell did he know of my bath routine? And why are my stuff here in this bathroom? Because I am sure as hell that this is not my fucking bathroom… And definitely, this room isn’t mine._ **

_“Where am I? Who owns this fucking place? Did you move out, Jiyong? Since when? Why can’t I fucking rememberbeing in here?”_ Imuttered as my eyes roamed around the washroom.

_“We have beenhere for the past 8 years, baby. You actually bought this house for me as soon as we got married.”_

_“We fucking what?”_ I asked anxiously.

Jiyong sighed loudly. His hands moved towards the hem of my shirt raisingit up until my palm instinctivelyswathis hands away from my shirt. He hissed at my sudden reaction and gazed at me with shock.

 _“We… Fucking… What? Fucking Answer me, Jiyong! Or I swear to God…”_ I said furiously as I shook his shoulders back and forth.

The “to and fro”action finally hit Jiyong’s brain. He squirmed his head faintly to collect his thoughts and said…

 _“You have the gutsto ask me a while ago what the fuck Itook when here you are… Seeming like you were the one who fucking took meths or Ativan or I don’t fucking know what else is there that can make someone forgetabout their fucking lives.”_ He said infuriatedly.  _“We swore notto disrespect our professions and taking those shits would literally throw our principles out the window. And to fucking answer your way-to-a-good-morning shitty question... We have been married for 8… No wait… 3 months from now, it would be 9 years already. You asked me to marry you on a chilly October afternoon. You were actually the one who excitedly plotted out the wedding… From its witnesses down to the honeymoon. Seriously, you are fucking scaring me. And we are fucking late! Fuck!”_

Jiyong pulled away from me and walked towards the door. I was frozen in my post because my brain can’t seem to register what he had just said. He turned the knob and was about to go out when he happened to take one last look at me and said…

_“Oh fuck! That’s it!”_

He approached me with livid eyes and pushed me inside the shower. The flowing water halted my body paralysis.

 _“Shit! My top’s wet! Now I have to fucking change again!”_  He said as he brushed off the water that splashed into his cajoling white polo.  _“Now can you please remove your clothes, Seunghyun? Youcannotreally shower with your clothes on, can you?”_

I stood motionless. My eyes started to blink rapidly and I found my heart beating so fast under the warm shower. Despite the stubborn personality that I knew I had, I decided to play with this goddamned sick of a nightmare.  _But Hell No._ I am not stripping in front of Jiyong. No way am I going to removeevery piece of my clothes with him inside this bathroom. Even if he said that we were fucking married  _(God knows how it happened)_ … I am definitely not going to take off my clothes.  _If I have to fucking shower with my clothes on, then I will._

 _“Okay. Get out. Leave and close the fucking door. I am going to take a bath now.”_  I said with cold eyes staring at him.

Again, he was shocked… For the nth time around.He stared at me as a small nod emerged from his head. He turned around and walked towards the door and shut it.

I immediately got out of my drenchedclothes and replaced the water temperature that Jiyong had set to a full cold one. I flinched at the now cold water drizzling into my body, a proof that my sanity is not fucking up with me. Whatever this is and wherever I may be is definitely a reality… A fact that I don’t really understand. I tried to recollect what eventuate last night. I am totally against drugs so it is safe to say that this is not an effect of a pill. I might have had drank too much last night but a bad hangover can only be a possibleresult to that. Being drunk won’t disruptyour fucking mental health like what I am experiencing right now.

**_What the fuck is happening? Since when did I have a change of heart… From being straight to being gay? Shit! Have I always been… Gay? I know the difference between a crush and an admiration… The latter describing my feelings towards Jiyong. I had always admired and respected him because in spite of our age difference, he is strong enough to hold the group on his own without the help from anyone of us. We may have done a few teasing… Like showing more care for each other than the rest of the members, fondling with each other, showing how much we miss each other expressively… But that doesn’t mean anything. It’s just for show… Because we love making our fans happy and what we’re doing boosts their happy hormones. It was okay to both of us if some people would believe that we are a couple because of the in sync chemistry that manifests itself whenever we are together. It was decided mutually that we continue doing it. Not only for our fans… But because we actually like being with each other?_ **

**_Fuck no! That can’t possibly be. Me and Jiyong are not on that level. And besides, he is as fucking straight as I am. So how the hell did we got married?_ **

 

**_Knock knock_ **

_“Baby, it’s 8 fucking 45 already. Can you please hurry up? I am so going to be late. Please, babe? Your coffee’s already getting cold.”_

Again with that fucking endearment… It shoots a shiver to my spine but not enough to gross me out. It’s just… I am still not adjusted to this setting. I mean, I am best at going with the flow but I need time to be familiarized with all of these.

_“Seunghyun! What the hell?”_

I can senseirk in his voice by now. One thing I know about Jiyong is that you don’t want to mess with him. You don’t ever want to exasperate him or he’ll fucking blow your goddamned mind with his tongue-lashing.

_“Goddamn it! If you don’t fucking come outin 5 seconds, I am going tobustthis door! I am counting now… 1…”_

**_Shit. He still has it in him! That fucking domineering attitude!_ **

_“Oh… Kay. I’ll be out in a minute.”_ I said a little louder so as to save the door from being broken. Knowing Jiyong, he would definitely not mind having a doorlessbathroom. And that thought would totally incapacitateme. I heard him mutter something unintelligible under his breath following a loud sigh.

_“Alright, babe. Please hurry. Please?”_

Usually, this scenario would nauseate me in a flash. Jiyong being sweet and using sweet words is not new to me anymore. Like I’ve said, we trainedourselves on how to appear like a fucking couple only to let myself be scandalizedby this. As soon as I heard him go out of the room, I promptly opened the bathroom door. My brows almost reached my hairline when I saw my  _supposed-to-be-office_  clothes for today. In fairness to Jiyong, he would definitely be a wonderful househusband. Not to mention the nagging and the pampering, I am god damned sure that he would be a perfect partner.

**_My perfect partner._ **

_Like where the fuck did that come from?_ I am not yet ready to seehim in that manner. I have to investigate on this one first before I would allow myself to even call him my spouse.I dressed myself up hastily because Jiyong already pointed out a million timesthat we are going to be late…He, at work and me, for a meeting that I do not know of. I brushed my platinum blonde hair and check my reflection in the mirror for the last time.  _I am still me… This is still me. But why do I feel like I am not… Me?_

As I opened the door, the sweet-smelling pancakes drew my attention. Its smell almost overshadowed the brewed coffee. Jiyong looked at me curiously as he poured some coffee into a black mug. He advanced in my direction as he hands it over to me.

_“Now take a seat, babe. And eat your waffles. I don’t care if I am already late. You have to eat. Come along, sweetheart.”_

**_So it was waffles and not pancakes. My brain is really twisted right now._ **

He escorted me towards the dining table as he placed a big portion of waffles in my plate. He gestured towards the variety of syrup laid in front of me. My choice of syrup was blueberry _,_ of course. So I squeezed the small container as the right amount of syrup appeared on my waffle. I forked a slice of the waffle and that’s when I realized that I was famished already so I forked up some more and found myself smiling and enjoying the breakfast that Jiyong had made me.

**_Get a fucking grip of yourself, Choi Seunghyun! You are fucking T.O.P… The ever-composed T.O.P. Don’t you fucking forget that, you piece of shit!_ **

I accidentally dropped the fork in my hand as the thought materializes in my mind. I immediately picked it up as I slowly glanced at Jiyong’s way. He looked at me with concern and said…

_“Are you good to go to work today, baby? I can tell that you’re not okay. Do you want to stay home?”_

_“Wwould that bbe okay? What about the meeting? I don’t… I actually… Don’t feel like myself today.”_ I stuttered.

Jiyong seemed to be agreeing with me on this. He reached out for my hand and enveloped his thin fingers into my fist and said…

_“Baby, if you don’t feel okay, you won’t function well. And if you don’t function well, your efforts in putting up our business will be put into waste. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you? So it’s either you work in the pharmacy today with a compromised reasoning or you stay at home and try to give yourself a break? The choice is yours, babe. Whatever you decide, I'm just here.”_

He took a sip from his coffee mug with his eyes still affixed at me. It looks to me that he is trying to assess my condition and what has been running through my mind. His hand distanced my fist making me miss the warmth it brought not so long ago. I started to feel scaredfor the first time. I don’t know where I am and what is happening. So as pathetic as I was, I drew my courage and said to him…

 _“Can you… Can you stay… With me today?”_ I said falteringly.

From his concerned look, a gummy smile surfaced into his face.

 _“Of course, baby. Anything you want.”_  He said as he moved towards me and kissed me on my forehead, with his arms locking around my neck.

What he just did would’ve earned him a punch straight into his face if we were in our usual environment. But the moment that his plump lips touched my temples, I couldn’t help but tolean on to his kiss and concentrate on not actually giving in to him. It just felt as weirdas that… Like there was a fucking connection between the two of us that I could not manage to decipher. I yielded into his embrace and said to him…

_“Thank you. But I hope you are readyto listen to what I am going to say. Because it’s going to fuck your brains out just as what it didto me.”_

_“You were fucked up already before I married you. Nothing will be more fucked up than what we had been through.”_ He said as he smiled at me brightly.

 


	3. Waking up without Jiyong

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

 _"_ _Baby, why is it so dark in here?"_ I drawled in a morning voice. _"Baby?"_ My hand fished around the half side of the bed.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I opened my eyes to find out that Jiyong is not in the bed with me. Being the attentive partner that he is, I am assuming that he is already making our breakfast. My sleepy eyes trailed across the side table to check for the time. I can't seem to figure out what hour of day it is because of the unusual dimness of the room... Leaving no trace of sunrays that I usually witness every morning.

**11:00**

_**Shit! I'm late!** _

I immediately pushed myself into a sitting position bringing in a slight vertigo on my end. I held my head to relieve the faint dizziness that I felt while at the same time trying to dissolve the sleepiness that hinders me from getting out of the bed. My eyes drifted between the bed and the space I'm in. _It's too dark. I can't spot anything._ So I made my way towards the light switch while saying...

 _"Baby! Why did you close the blinds? I can't see a thing."_ I said in a vexed tone.

**No answer.**

_"Babe? Why aren't you answering?"_

_**Oh shit! I forgot. He is mad at me. Now where the fuck is that light switch?** _

The moment that the light sprung up, I came to realize that I was not in our room. The shock that came into my being froze me on the spot. 

_**Where am I? Who's fucking room is this?** _

I remember getting home from Taeyang's place. I might've had a couple of drinks but I was still sober enough to get home. I remember changing into my pajamas while I crept beside Jiyong, who was sleeping soundly in our bed. It took all of my will power not to touch him because I don't want to wake him up. Aside from that, I know that he is mad at me. I am too tired to talk about our issue and I don't want to anger him some more. I promised myself to fix this tomorrow... To explain to him why I reacted that way the other night.

_**But... Where is he? Where is Jiyong?** _

I should've apologized to him last night. I should've cuddled with him... Tell him that I'll make up for what I did and to express the longing I feel for him ever since the fight. I should've kissed him. I should've made love to him. Now... _He's not here._

The sudden ringing stopped me from contemplating. I moved towards the phone's location, which immediately got me answering the call upon acknowledging the caller's identity. 

 _"Baby, where are you?"_ I asked heedlessly.

 _"Baby?"_ He laughed. _"Are you talking to me, hyung?"_ He laughed harder. 

I tried my best to hide the irritation from his laughter. It actually ticked all my nerves off. He should know that it is better to mess up with a drunk person than  with someone who just woke up. 

 _"Baby, where are you?"_ I asked again in a more relaxed tone.

There was a minute of silence from the other line. Until I heard the caller cleared his throat and say...

 _"Hyung, please don't tell me that you're drinking **?** It’s 11 fucking 20 in the morning!"_ He spoke in a raised voice.

_"Please tell me where you are, babe. Are you at home? Stay there and let's talk. Please hear..."_

_"What the hell is wrong with you, TOP-sshi?"_ He interrupted. 

_**TOP-sshi? Who the hell is TOP-sshi?** _

_"You are fucking home! Get a fucking grip of yourself."_ He said in a nettled tone. _"I am now on my way there. I thought I told you last Saturday not to be late? And now I have to pick you up personally... Like WOW,"_ With a slight elevation on his tone. _"I don't know what to do with you. You're always that indolent every fucking morning."_ He finished.

 _"Kwon Jiyong! Quit messing with me. And who the fuck is TOP-sshi?"_ I stated with hostility.

He laughed clamorously at my reply. There was a minute of quietness as soon as his laughter subsided. I was hesitant to talk because I was afraid that I might anger him... _Again._ So I shut my mouth and waited for him to break this awkward silence so as not to put any more injury to our pressing issue. He breathed out loudly and said... 

 _"You are fucking TOP-sshi! Damn you! Are you taking some shit out there? I can't believe what I'm hearing right now!"_ He said exasperatedly. 

_"What are you talking about? I'm not TOP-sshi! I'm Choi Seunghyun, you..."_

Suddenly, there was a persistentknocking on my door.

 _"Open the door, you crazy idiot."_ He said as the hammering continued to sting my ears.

I opened the damned door and not to my surprise of course, it was Jiyong... _In all his glory._ He was wearing a white sleeveless shirt paired with tight fitting red jeans. Multiple inks were peeking from his almost bare tank top. A number of ear piercings as well as blinding accessories were dancing around his wrist. He stood confidently from the other side of the door... Right hand placed on his hips with a glare that would literally scare the shit out of you.

 _"What the fuck, hyung? You're still not ready?"_ He yelled. _"What the hell is wrong with you? Go fucking take a shower, you lazy ass!"_ He grabbed my arm and directed me towards the bathroom. 

I was staring at him the whole time he was dragging me. I stopped midway because my brain seemed to finally catch up with my current situation. The halt resulted into a shocked Jiyong... With brows hiding beneath his fringe. He shook his head sideways as I took this time to capture his face while I try to calm down his unsteady state. I pressed my palm unto his cheeks causing him to shudder at my action. He slapped my hand away from his face.

 _"What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ A mild blush appeared on his face.

 _"Baby, when... Did you change your hair color?"_ I asked curiously.

He stared at me in confusion.

 _"It has always been orange, you dumbass! I had been sporting this hair ever since our MADE tour! What the hell is your problem, hyung? Seriously... You are giving me the creeps."_ He said indignantly.

 _"What? No. You've always worn them blonde."_ I replied. _"I didn't think that you would also look this good in orange, baby."_ I smiled seductively.

This time, he turned scarlet.

_"That's it. Where the fuck are you hiding them? Give me those pills or plant or whatever the hell it is or I'll fucking beat you to death right now."_

He marched towards the side cabinet then to the chest drawers up to the closet.

_**Is that a walk in closet?** _

He was literally turning this room upside down when I decided to walk towards him and... Hugged him from behind. He flinched at my assault as he struggled to get his trapped body out of my arms.

 _"Fucking hell. Why are you fucking hugging me, hyung?"_ He tried to stifle his tension.

And to my surprise, he turned around and stared at me in a flirty manner. His immediate shift in mood locked me up into his alluring eyes. He lifted his arms and locked them behind my neck as he slowly tiptoed his way towards my lips. He said...

 _"I thought... This kind of affection... Is just for show?"_ He inched closer to my mouth. _"Are you... Giving in, hyung? Are we... On this level now?"_ His breath tickled my lips. _"So I get to call you... Baby now, huh?"_ He smiled irresistibly. 

The irritating phone ring startled both of us. He fished out his phone from his pocket and slid his thumb over the screen to answer it.

 _"Hello? Yeah... I'm sorry. Can you give us atleast 20 minutes? Hyung just woke up. I'm really sorry."_ He pleaded. " _Thank you. I really appreciate it. See you in a bit."_

He placed his phone back to his pocket. He gaped at my oblivious appearance and said...

 _"I wish we have the time for this, baby?"_ He uttered in a teasing way. _"But fuck you. Get your ass inside your bathroom because we are going to be labeled as unprofessionals if you continue fucking around."_ He retorted.

He unclenched my arms around his waist and hauled me towards the bathroom. 

 _"Now do you want me to remove your clothes for you, baby?"_ He said in a dallying way.

 _"I wouldn't refuse that kind offer, babe."_ I replied amorously.

His frame did not move a muscle. 

 _"Goddamn it, hyung! Would you stop messing around? God! What the hell is wrong with you today?"_ He sighed distinctly.

He turned around and walk towards the bathroom exit. He opened the door and was about to move out when he said...

 _"I'm giving you 10 minutes to shower, hyung... 10 minutes only, okay? Or I'm gonna fucking leave you, you demented freak!"_ He said in a miffed demeanor.

 


	4. GD's doppelganger

**T.O.P's POV**

 

_“Hello, Kim Jaejoong-sshi! This is Kwon Jiyong speaking. Listen… Uhmm… My husband’s not feeling well today. Would it be okay to reschedule your meeting? Let’s say…Next week?”_

I still can’t help but to shudder at the word _husband._ The new role hasn’t sunken into my brain yet. It’s still too early for me to accept it anyway. My eyes automatically affixed Jiyong’s location who was talking calmly to the person on the other line.

 _“Okay. Thank you so much. I’ll send him your regards. Take care!”_ He said as he ended the call.

 _“Jaejoong-sshi wishes that you get well soon… He also said that you should take good care of yourself some more.”_ He stared at me with concern.

 _“Kim Jaejoong-hyung?”_  I asked curiously.

 _“Yeah. Jaejoong-sshi.”_ He said as he confirms my question.

 _“How are we related in this… World?”_ I queried with an obvious disbelief on the latter word.

Jiyong seemed startled at my question but decided to answer me anyway. I saw him relax as he said…

 _“Kim Jaejoong-sshi is your supplier… He’s a drug distributor. He provides most of the pharmacy’s stocks. You and him have been acquainted for years now. He is like a big brother to you… And to me as well.”_  He said as he motions to the seat in front of me.

 _“How are you feeling now, baby? Do you need anything? A medicine, maybe?”_ A worry arising in his voice as he cupped my face.

From the moment I opened my eyes, I haven’t been able to checkout the Jiyong before me due to a compromised brain function. As I scrutinized this man, I found out that he has the _same_ physical features with the Jiyong that I grew up with…  _Similar coffee brown eyes, matching face contours, carbon copied gummy smile, and even their height and built are alike._ But I have to say that the most apparent similarity between the two is  _their love for flamboyant hair colors._  The Jiyong in my world has _orange_ locks while this one right here has a _blonde_  mop on his head. I can almost say that this Jiyong is _Jiyong’s_ identical twin. _Wait… That sounds confusing._ So to avoid perplexities, I am going to name the Jiyong from my world,  _GD._

There are only two visible differences I can spot between the two at this time.  _GD has tattoos,_  which seemed like a part of his skin already… Like it has always been there ever since he was born. On the other hand, his doppelganger _isn't_ as inked as he was.He does have a tattoo but as far as my eyes can tell, only three are noticeable… _Script writings or signatures (or I assumed it to be) on both of his writsts and an almost undetectable printed roman numerals on his left ring finger._ But I gotta say that themost significant distinction among the two is _their manner of dressing._  GD is famous for his _out-of-this-world_ fashion taste. From his ridiculously eye-catching hats down to his exceptionally mismatched piece of clothing that only he can gorgeously pull off. In comparison, his counterpart looks simpler. Not plain boring but more laid back. This Jiyong seems to want comfort in his clothes rather than attention.

I didn’t realize that I was staring at him for a long time not until a smile occurred on his lips. It caught me off guard to see that same gummy smile on his face that I found myself blushing in an instant.  _Yes. I fucking blushed at the sight of his smile. Pathetic, huh?_

_“Baby, are you okay? You look feverish.”_

_Fuck! Can’t he even tell the difference between a blush and a fever? He is so naive._

_“I’m fine. But anyway… How about your work? You were a little pushy an hour ago to even drag my ass into the bathroom just for us to go to work. Have you… Notified your superiors?”_  I asked inquisitively.

 _“Oh that. Of course, I did. Besides, this is an emergency case, right?”_ He eyed me up to confirm his inquiry.

While this was an emergency case for me, it didn't actually have anything to do with him. I feel like I dragged him into this personal crisis I’m undergoing. But what the fuck? _Did he just bail out on work for me? Even if this doesn't concern him, can he really actually do that?_

He is definitely not the Jiyong that I share the same bond with. GD wouldn'texcuse himself from work just because of lame reasons. He wouldn’t carelessly ditchwork even if it kills him. Right… Even if he's sick or super sick,he wouldn’t do such a thing. Well yeah… He would drop by my villa once in a while to either chat or listen to my nonsense even for a short time. But the fact still stands that time is definitely not among his fans. **Time is not a VIP.** So if his tight schedule would be generousenough to shower him some…  _May it be an hour or even a minute,_ the boys will make sure to make it worthwhile.

However, this Jiyong gave uphis day work for me. Like how the fuck can he recklessly dismiss work for someone like me? Oh right, I forgot.  _I am his fucking husband in this crazy cosmos by the way._

 _“Anyway, what’s bothering you, babe? You seem off today… And I can’t understand why.”_  A frown appeared on his face.

 _“I don’t… I don’t exactly know how to… Explain this.”_ I said without looking into his eyes. So I mustered up all the bravery in me and said,  _“Jiyong… This is not my world... And I am not... Your husband.”_

Jiyong gawked at me. Even if curiosity was evident on his face, he doesn’t look alarmed. He was surprisingly unperturbed.But then his next action startled me because he fucking bursted out laughing. It seriously annoyed the shit out of me when here I am… Trying my hardestto gather all the rationality left in me just to properly explain this shitty situation to him.

 _“Why the fuck are you laughing, you dipshit? It’s not funny!”_  I said irately.

 _“You are certainly the funniest… Or the most funniest, if they are even allowed to be combined… Person in this world. And that freaking habit of yours is what makes me love you so much.”_ He said as he continuously laughed at me.

_Love-you-so-much my ass and Fuck… That… Shit. I don’t understand what’s so funny about what I just said? Isn’t he even scared? Scared that someone he thought he knew is alone with him inside his house? I can do anything to him with ease. Seriously. This Jiyong is fucking insane._

_“Fuck you. I’m never_ _going to speak to you again.”_ I stood up and motioned to the kitchen to get some water. My fucking throat is dry. Maybe this whole fucked up situation dehydrated me.  _I fucking hate this place… Or this world… Or I don’t fucking know what this is._

Jiyong followed me in the kitchen of course… He and his fucking tenacious personality. He blocked my pathway and said…

 _“Okay. I’m sorry, babe. But I don’t actually get what you’re trying to say.”_ He giggled and then he continued,  _“Am I too latched onto you? I mean… Do I irritate you that much for you to joke on something like that? Is this the part where you tell me to put up some space?”_ He said with a concerned look.

 _“I am in no fucking position to answer that shit. But do you mind telling me if I fucking look like I am joking? Do you really think that I was making these things up? What the fuck did I say a while ago? Whatever I’m about to tell you will fucking blow your mind, right? Now how about you open up your goddamned mind and help me figure this out?”_ I lashed out to him.

 _Unbelievable._ He was fucking composed as a rock. He did blink, yes. But he doesn't seem to be as disturbedas I was when I first realized that I was in an unfamiliar set-up. I noticed he was staring at my hand or my fingers or I don’t know what the fuck he’s staring at because seriously, I am mad. Too much lunacyis already happening and I don’t fucking know how long I can keep up with this shit. Then suddenly…

 _“Can I ask you something?”_ He said stony-faced.

_Wow! What part of being annoyed can’t he understand? Am I not showing enough temper? Does he know of the word scared? Because seriously… He doesn’t seem to have this kind of response._

_“What?”_ I retorted.

_“When and why the fuck did you remove your wedding tattoo?”_

_“My fucking what?”_  I retaliated.

He slowly lifted his head and stared at me alarmingly.

Finally, there’s that frightened face I had been waiting to see. _Okay._ _Let me clear things out._ Of course, I'm nothaving fun looking at his nervous face right now. I’m not a fucking masochist.I may be self-centered but this is still Jiyongwe’re talking about here. Well not actually the Jiyongthat I know but… _Fuck it! He’s Jiyong. Period._ And I do not fuck with friends. The truth is, his terrifiedappearance actually worried me. I suddenly missed that bright, smily face which paledthe minute he realized that I wasn'twho he thought I was.

 _“Who the fuck are you?”_ He said as he glared at me.

 _Yup. This over-the-topsweet and easygoing guy just a while ago fucking glared at me._ I must admit that his sudden change in reaction impressed me.

 _“Finally. You managed to coexist_ _with the idea that I keep on telling you for like a hundred times already.”_  I said as I looked at him with a suppressed worry.

 _“I should have known… From the moment that I was trying to wake you up… That you are not_ _my husband. He wouldn’t curse me like that, wouldn’t even degrade my sexuality like what you just fucking did, and he would never give me that look… Like I was a fucking eye sore.”_ He scowled at me as he carries on…  _“Where is my husband? What the hell did you do to him, you asshole?"_  He said indignantly as he paced in my direction.

 _“Tell me where my husband is, you lunatic! Tell me where he is! Or I am going to call the police.”_  He said fiercely as he starts hitting me in my chest.

I took a hold of his hand to stop him from his assault.

 _“And what the fuck would you tell_ _the police, huh? That I am not your husband? Seriously… You wanna get admitted to a mental institution, Jiyong?”_  I said sarcastically.

But then, my hand surprisingly circled his thin waist and drew him closer to me.

 _“Let me go, you motherfucker! Get your fucking hands off of me!”_  He said while he struggled under my grasp.

Here I thought I have the foulest mouth when this guy right here, humiliatesthat talent. As small-boned as he is, he is fucking strongfor his physique. He actually exceedsGD’s strength. Regardless of his effeminatecharacteristics, he gives the impression of notwanting to be protected _…_   _That he is not a damsel in distress that needs saving…_   _And that he can actually take good care of himself._ Unconsciously, my arms wrapped tightly around him, trying to calm him down. I fucking feel like an idiot for forcing this matter unto him knowing how terrible this information is.

 _“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry but I don’t know… Where your husband is.”_  I said as I embraced him securely.

He continuously wriggled himself out of my arms as he tries his hardest to appear in control of the situation as well as his emotions.

 _“Fuck you. What made you think that I would fucking trust you? I don't even know who the hell you are! I don’t care if you fucking share the same name with my husband because you are definitely and will never be him, you bastard!”_ He retorted as he tries to stifle the threatening tears in the borders of his eyes.

 _He’s right._ Who the hell do I think I am to fucking think that I can consolethis person who just losthis husband to a place where not even our minds are allowed to wander…  _His husband that just so happens to share the same face as mine’s, got drawn out of this world, from his life and his partner._  I have never lovedand lostsomeone but the pain reflecting in Jiyong’s eyes gave me an idea of how difficultthis situation is for him.

I have no idea where his husband might be simply because I am currently having the same dilemma as him. In short,  _we are both fucked…_ Waking up into a different world that we know of.

But despite all this,  _Jiyong never cried._  He didn’t shed a single tear. His mistyeyes are understandable but his dauntlessness is hard to believe. I can’t imagine myself being in his situation. If I were to lose my special someone in the same manner as him,  _I would have killed the first person I would lay my eyes on._ Simple as that. Because I couldn’t even imagine myself going thru life withoutthat person. So I take back the  _love-me-so-much-my-ass_ that I said a while ago for I am now convinced that he truly loved the otherme.

 _“Look. I know how messed up this is to you but I really need your help. I do not know anyone here… And you’re the only one that I could trust.”_  I said as I slowly reached out to him. 

 _"Don't touch me."_  He retorted as he stepped back away from me.

I withdrew my hand and stared at him.  _“Please… I'm begging you. Believe me… I really don’t know where your husband is because I happen to be in the same shit as him. I am just hoping that he had the same wake up call as me. But I swear… From the graves of my grandparents, that I do not know where he is because if I do, I would’ve gone  to see him myself just so someone understands how the fuck I am feeling right now."_

I kneeledin front of him... Not because I am as pitiful as that but because I am on the verge of getting eaten by my misery already.  _I am afraid. I am scared as shit._ And I have no idea how to live here… Knowing that everything is so much different from what I’ve always known. Jiyong remained silent as he examines my behavior. He stared at my hopelessness as he collects himself and say…

_"Stand up. I don’t like it when people gets down on their knees and beg. I am not a fucking royalty.”_

My head shoots up to his direction. I can feel myself loosening upat his reply as I continued to release the breath I was holding for quite a while. I didn’t even realize that I wasn't breathing until I heard him speak. I smiled at him as he blanklystared at me. He shook his head sideways and turned his attention to me as I stood up and patiently waited for his decision.

 _“Do you have anothernickname? I hope you’re not expecting me to call you Seunghyun even if that is also your name.”_ He muttered seriously.

 _" TOP. I am more known as TOP in my… World.“_  I said as I plastered my breathtaking smile.

Jiyong was staggered _…_ More like frozen into his spot. Again, his head jiggles from side to side as he extends his hand to me. I gladly shook it and said…

 _"Thank you, Jiyong. I owe you. I don’t know how I’m going to repay you but still I owe you big time.”_  I released his hand and bowed 90 degrees to him.

_"Actually, I have a request..."_

_Uh oh._ I have a badfeeling about this.. _But like I have a fucking choice, right?_ Please don’t let it be what….

 _“Oh fuck you. I can hear your goddamned thoughts from here, you asshole!”_ He said as he rolled his eyes. And then he continued, " _And no._ _I am not up for something like your shitty brain is making up. Only my husband touches me. You hear me? Only Seunghyun can touch me.”_  He said humorlessly.

Relief rushed throughout my body.  _Good to fucking hear that._ I don’t know what I’m gonna do if he asks for… I don’t know even want to finish my sentence.  So on to his request...

 _“What is it that I can do for you, Jiyong?”_  I asked curiously.

He paused.

_“Okay. But before that, I want you to know the basics… Because you_ _are going to be my husband, Seunghyun, as long as you stay in our world.”_

_Goodbye freedom. Why didn’t I see that coming?_

_“Oh… Kay. Sounds… Good to me? I guess?”_  I said unconvincingly.

 _“Good. Because you have no choice. Our world, our rules. My house, my say. Get it?”_ He spoke with conviction.

 _“Of course. Of course. I understand.”_  I responded as I sat to a chair near him. " _So what are the things that I need to know about you?”_ I asked.

 _“First things, first.”_ He pulls out a phone from his pocket… The one that he formerly used. He gave it to me and said…  _“That is my husband's mobile phone. You do have them in your world, I assume? So please familiarize yourself with it.”_

I stared at the rectangular device. I buttoned down the home key when I realized that it has a freaking password. I glanced at Jiyong, who was looking at me intently and said,  _“I cannot open this without the password. May I know what it is?”_

Jiyong touched his left ring finger tattoo and said…

 _“This is one of the most important information that you must know, TOP-sshi. Seunghyun and I’s… Or what I mean is… Our wedding was held on October 25, 2006. So that's his password... 102506."_ He said as he showed me his tattooed finger. _"Seunghyun was actually the one who insisted on getting this tattoo because according to him, the fact that it cannot be erased means that nobody can take me away from him. He also said that this mark is made especially for him and me."_

_What a clever way to seal a vow! So the “me” in this world loved Jiyong that much, huh? But fuck… Am I really that intellectual in this world? W-O-W!_

Jiyong cleared his throat.

_“Are you still with me? Or do you want to proceed with your daydreaming, TOP-sshi?”_

_“I’m sorry...”_  I smiled.  _“Please continue.”_

 _“That is only one of his fascinatingly_ _crazy ideas. You’ll get to know more about him… Some other time. In the mean time, just act like yourself. We’re making the most out of your so-called sickness.”_  Then he resumes,  _“I am also a Pharmacistlike Seunghyun. But I work for a hospital… The one across this building. I post my schedule on the fridge so… Just take a look at it from time to time. My mobile number’s at his speed dial 1 so if you need me for anything, just call me. Uhh.. What else? Oh! My best friend is Park Sandara so…”_

 _“Wait a minute. Dara-sshi is your best friend?”_  I asked with an obvious appalled tone.

 _“Dara-sshi? "_ He laughed.  _"Why? Do you know her? And do you have a problem with that?”_ He said as he raised an eyebrow.

_“Uh… No. No… I mean, we have a Park Sandara in our world too.”_

_“Really? So what does Dara do in your world?”_  He asked with a hint of intrigue in his voice.

_“Dara-sshi is actually famous. She is from a girl-group called 2ne1 who doesn't just sing and dance but raps too.”_

A melodic laughter was heard in the next 2 minutes. When Jiyong finally halted, he said…

 _“Well what do you know? Dara is famous, huh? Can even sing and dance and rap too, huh? Wait till you meet her then.”_ His gummy smile spread across his face.  _“Now tell me, TOP-sshi... What do you do in your world?”_


	5. The other Jiyong

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

 _"I need to call Jaejoong-sshi, babe. I can't believe I'm fucking late!"_ I said as I dialed his number.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 _"Good morning, Hyung! I'm terribly sorry for being late. Where can I meet you to discuss about the consignment?"_ I inquired hastily. 

 _"TOP-sshi? Is that you?"_  A surprised tone emerged from the other line. 

 _"Uh... No. It's Choi Seunghyun, hyung. Why do people keepcallingme that?"_  I asked irately.

There was a loud laughter coming from the other line. I can already picture Jaejoong-hyung with tears at the corner of his eyes from laughing too much. He tried to compose himself and said...

 _"So you're notusing TOP as a nickname anymore?"_  He chuckled.  _"I thought you only use your real name in movies?"_  He asked in amusement.

 _"Alright, fine. I get it. You're mad. I'm so sorry, hyung. I'm really sorry for being late. Please don't take this the wrong way..."_ I ducked my head as if he can see me.

Again, another undisciplined laughter flared up from him. 

 _"TOP-sshi, are you okay?"_  He asked with a sign of worry in his voice.  _"Are you still stressed over your tour? You’ve already finished your last performance, didn’t you? You should be celebrating, man! Not drunk dialing people at this hour!"_  He laughed.

Without a warning, Jiyong snatched my phone. He black looked at me as he placed his mouth into the hand phone's receiver.

 _"Kim Jaejoong-sshi, I am really sorry for this call. Hyung is... Nothimself today."_  He stared at me angrily.  _"But thank you forplaying along with him."_  He smiled.  _"See you around, hyung! Take care!"_  He put the call to an end.

He examined my face and then he said...

 _"You should really stop humiliating yourself. Please fucking stop."_ His brows furrowed.  _"Get your shit together and focus yourself on our performance."_  He said casually.

 _"What performance?"_  I inquired innocently.

Jiyong looked at me withenragedexpression and said...

 _"I swear I'm gonna fuck that brain of yours if you don't stop shitting me!"_  He vociferated. _"I'm gonna tell your manager to punch you straight in the face if you ever get near your beloved wines."_  He sent me another glare.  _"It's already clouding up your judgment and at the same time intoxicating your brain even without consumption.”_

The car finally stopped. Two well-builtmen opened the door as they ushered both of us inside the building. The screams from the surrounding people numbedmy ears. A lady waved wildly at my face as ahigh-pitched  **TOP**  came out from her mouth. My earsdeafened at her cries. One of the two men usherettes lightly tapped my shoulders and urged me to go forward. I looked around to find Jiyong passing thru the building's entry. I ran towards him and said...

 _"Baby, why are they screaming? Who is GD? And why do they keep calling me TOP?"_  I asked while looking back at the screaming crowd outside.

 _"Screw you. I'm not talking to you anymore."_  He walked continuously towards the elevator.

I stared at him while he nonchalantly hopped inside the lift. As soon as he turned around, he scowled at me and grabbed my arm. 

 _"Fucking get inside already.We're late, hyung!We're fucking late!"_ With an obvious frustration in his tone.

 _"From what Jiyong? From what are we fucking late, huh?"_  I matched his annoyance.

He was shooting daggers at me as of the moment. But then he tried his best to calm himself and said...

_"Damn, hyung! How many times do I have to tellyou that we have to fucking perform in about an hour and we aren't dressed yet because of yourmessed up attitude today!"_

The elevator opened. Two women greeted us as we all marched towards the dressing room. There were two chairs with names  **TOP**  and  **GD** at the back. Jiyong motioned towards the GD chair while the women gathered around him, fixing his hair and dabbing some brown liquid unto his face. I was ogling at the busy situation when a woman unexpectedly waved her hand in front of me to somehow catch my attention. I looked at her in confusion as she escorted me to that TOP chair while calling out for the other group of women. With the same strategy that they used on Jiyong, they brushed my hair and put on that same brown liquid unto my face while I observed what they were doing over this huge mirror in front of me.

_**Who are these people? Why am I given this kind of treatment?** _

_"TOP-sshi? Do you mind puttingthis on?"_ A lady with an acid blonde hair asked.

**A hot pink tuxedo along with the same colored slacks was dangling in front of me.**

_"No. I don'twear clothes like that. It's too... Loud."_  My brows involuntarily knit together.

 _"Uh... Noona? I'll take care of that, okay?"_ Jiyong beamed at the lady.

He mounted from his seat and walked towards me. And then he whispered...

_"Stop being an ass and try the goddamned tux or I'll be theoneto put them on you, you fucking lunatic!"_

He straightened up, flashed his gummy smile and pushed the outrageous outfit into my hands. He arched an eyebrow while his eyes travelled to and from the apparel and me.

_**God! How can this guy be so beautiful and seductive at the same time?** _

It suddenly became warm inside the room. I felt heat rose up into my ears as my brain finally came up with a perfect answer.

_"I don't mind, baby. Come on, dress me up."_

I stood up and laced his hand into mine. The noonas looked at us inwonder while I pulled him towards the changing area at the corner of the room.

As soon as we were inside, he untangled his hand from my grip and said...

 _"Jesus, hyung! They are not the crowd that we're supposed to please!"_  He spat.  _"What the hell is wrong with you? Really?Why are you doing this to me?"_ He asked in an infuriated tone.  _"Can you be your normal self today? This is seriously annoying the shit out of me!"_  He moved back and threw the tux in my face.

 _"You kept asking what the hell is wrong with me when you keep pushing me away like I'm that upsetting to be with."_ I countered.

 _"Are you fucking deaf? You are goddamned upsetting, hyung! You keep being.. Flirty... Today! I don't know what to do with you anymore!"_ He put his head down. " _How many hours does it take for that pill tostop fucking up your mentality, huh? What the hell are you taking, hyung? I thought you're against that shit? Then why the fuck are you taking them now?"_ He yelled.

I laughed unintentionally at his furious statement.  _Seriously, what's wrong with him today?_  I know that we haven't really talked about the fight but this is too muchfor him to disownme like this. I closed the space that separates us and said...

 _"Look, babe. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for beingangrytwo nights ago. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I was just too... Tired from everything that's been happening. The exhaustion made me think about those stupid things even though I knew that there was really no issue between us. I'm sorry, baby. Please let me make it up to you."_  I reached out to touch his face.  _"And for the record,I am in my normal self today. I don't do drugs. If I do so, it would be the same as disrespecting our professions. So it's not really my thing."_  I smiled at him while stroking his pink cheeks.

He stood there paralyzed while I continued fondling his face. And then all of a sudden, he laughed boisterously at my confession. He said...

 _"Congratulations, hyung! You did it again!"_ He laughed.  _"That was the funniestthing I've ever heard today!"_ He chortled.

 _"Kwon Jiyong! What the hell is funny, huh? I wasn't even telling a joke!"_  I snapped.

 _"For Christ's sake, hyung... Stop shitting me, okay? You are getting out of hand already! Are you somewhat... Nervous?"_  A serious look transpired unto him.

 _"And why would I be nervous?"_  I asked with an inquiring brow.

 _"Because of the show, idiot!"_  He chuckled.  _"But since you don't look anxiousto me, then I guess you're prepared to do your thing and rap your ass out."_  He laughed.

 _"Wait... What? Rap?"_  I asked shockingly.  _"I'm going to rap?"_  I questioned with a horrified pitch.

 _"Well, it's what you do best, hyung."_ He displayed his pleased smile.

 _“I don’t fucking rap, Jiyong. You should know better. I happen to eat my words so tongue-twisters are definitely not for me.”_  I enlightened.

He hooted raucously. But then, a knock immediately stopped him from laughing.

 _“GD-sshi, TOP-sshi, 15 more minutes and you’re on.”_  The lady announced.

 _“Oh okay. We’ll be out in a minute.”_  He responded.

I was stock-still upon hearing the notice. I felt sick in the stomach that the urge to vomit is just right up my throat. Jiyong looked at me with worry and said…

 _“Are you okay, hyung? You look like shit.”_  He asked as he walked towards me.

 _“Jiyong, I… I don’t rap. Do I soundgibberish to you? What part of I-don't-fucking-rap can you not understand?”_  I inquired as a mild dizziness came forth.

He looked at me in bewilderment. There was another knock at the door to which Jiyong unhesitantly attended.

 _“Hey GD! Hi TOP-hyung! I just dropped by to say... Have fun!”_ Taeyang smiled and waved at me.

 _“Taeyang! Oh my God, you’re here!”_  I spoke with relief. _“Can you please tell Jiyong here that I don’t rap? Maybe he wouldbelieve me if it came from you knowing that you’re mybest friend.”_  A slight evidence of pleading in my voice.

A hysterical laughter came from the two of them. They were giving each other high fives while laughing their hearts out.

 _“Dong Youngbae! Fucking stop laughing and help me out here! I’m about to make a fool out of myself so please tell Jiyong to stop tormenting me.”_  I said irately.

I turned my attention to Jiyong and said…

 _“Baby, please don’t do this to me. You are being unfair. I know I did something wrong but don’t punish me like this.”_  I begged.

The two of them eyed me up cautiously. They looked at me like I am losing my mind. Jiyong whispered something to Taeyang as he nods and went out of the room. Jiyong gave me a thorough look… Starting from my shoes all the way up to my face. I noticed that he was gaping at my hand so he darted towards me, seized my left hand, and said…

 _“Is that a fucking tattoo? When did you get this? What does this mean?”_  He asked in disbelief.

 _“It has always been there, baby. It's our wedding tattoo…”_ I grinned proudly at him.

His eyed turned wide upon my statement. He moved away from me in his astonished condition as he released a loud gasp and said…

 _“Wwedding tattoo?”_  He mumbled.

 _“Yes, baby. You don’t remember?”_ I said as I searched for his hand to find the matching pair of my tattoo.

STUNNED. There wereno numerals on his left ring finger. There wasn’t even a trace of it on his digit.

 _“Jiyong, where the hell is your tattoo? Why did you fucking remove it?”_ I asked furiously.

He finally managed to get back from his daze as he pushed me away from his frozen state.

 _“Fucking shit, hyung! What are you talking about? I am fucking straight, you asshole! And you are too!”_ He exhales.  _“What the fuck is happening to you? Jesus Christ! How many milligrams did you take? You didn’t take the whole bottle, did you?”_  He bawled.

 _“I don’t fucking do drugs, Jiyong! How many times do I have to tell you that? And No... We happen to be married so we don’t actually fall into the “Straight” category.”_ I explained as calm as I could.

Jiyong’s mouth dropped open. His bafflement came to a pause when the third knock emerged from the door. It was Taeyang.He entered the room and stared at Jiyong who seemed to be in another world as of the moment.

 _“Hey, Ji! Are you okay? What happened?”_  He gave Jiyong a pat on his right shoulder.

 _“Uh… I… I am fine.”_ He said while continuously staring at me.  _“What did they say, Youngbae?”_ He slowly glanced at Taeyang’s location.

 _“They said that hyung can lip-sync if he is that sick.”_ He looked at me with apprehension.  _“Hyung, are you good to perform? Just follow GD… He’ll take care of you. And just have… Fun…”_ He smiled at me.  _“I’m gonna go out now, okay? I’ll cheer for you guys. Good luck.”_ He turned around and left.

I was looking at Jiyong who was staring at the door. I sauntered towards him and scrutinized his condition.

 _“Baby, are you okay?”_  I extended my hand unto him.

 _“Stop touching me. I don’t fucking know who you are anymore. I know you’re sick but not this psycho.”_ He scowled.  _“But the fucking show must go on… You and I will talk later. Just keep the microphone near your mouth so that no one will notice and just… Move towards the beat.”_

He sought for his mobile phone as well as his earphones on his pocket. He unlocked his phone, plugged the earphones and handed them to me.

 _“Our song’s title is ZUTTER. I hope it rings a bell. But with your messed up brain, I am assuming that you don't fucking know what I'm talking about right now. So here.. Familiarize yourself with the song so that you won't embarrass yourself later. I_ _am not expecting you to easily pick up the rhythm of the song, but just... Listen to it. ”_  He said as he progressed towards the door.  _“See you._ ” He closed the door without looking back at me.

The song played on repeat.I couldn’t believe that I was hearing myself rapping at this sick song. Not to mention Jiyong who wasequally as talented as me. This tongue twisting songis really amazing. I couldn’t imagine how we made this piece, taking into consideration that the lyricists are both Jiyong and me.

_**How did we do this shit? This is really good.** _

_“Two more minutes, okay?”_  One of the staff declared.

And then, we were finallycalledout. The crowd screamed as we made our entry into the stage. Jiyong looked natural. He was standing there fabulously along with that breathtaking smile. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him until he happened to look at my direction and puckered.

_**Fuck. He is seriously killing me.** _

I had to collect all the strength in me just to keep myself from kissing that silly guy. He knew that it was my weakness. If he keeps on doing that I cannot promise not to surrender into his teasing.

I did what he told me. I almost fastened the microphone into my mouth. I followed what he did… Up to the point where there was a need to flirt with the audience. I have to admit that it pissed me off. But just like he said, _the show must go on_.

I have always loved dancing. It was my thing ever since I can remember… So to compensate for my lack of rapping skills, I did some smooth moves. I was fully aware that the crowd loved what I did because they were cheering wildly while at the same time screaming for my name. I took a glimpse at Jiyong, who was gazing at me like a smitten girl. I was about to stroll over to his place when the song came to an end. He held my hand as we bowed and thanked our audience for simply being there and giving us their support. We bid our goodbyes as we get off the stage.

Jiyong was quiet the entire time we were walking towards the dressing room. I was watching him taking his seat as he stared at me thru the large mirror.

 _“When did you… Learn how to… Dance like that?”_  He dipped his head to hide his flushed face.

I paced through his seat and cupped his face.

 _“It’s one of what I really do best, baby. You are actually a fan of that talent.”_ I smiled at him.

 _“Hyung, can I ask you something?”_  He dismissed my teasing.

 _“Go ahead, babe.”_  I insisted.

 _“What motivated you to tone down?”_ He stared at me with anticipation.

 _“Tone down? What do you mean?”_ I asked.

 _“You were a little… Chubby before, hyung. What motivated you to slim down?”_  He probed.

 _“I was never chubby, Jiyong. You know that. Maybe because I love sports… Basketball to be exact.”_  I grinned.  _“Why are you being so oblivious today? Are you sick, babe?”_ I placed my palm unto his forehead.

 _“Fuck you. You are the sick one… Not me.”_ He whacked my hand and stood up.

I clutched his arm to stop him from walking and said…

 _“What the hell is wrong with you, Jiyong? I was asking you nicely and then here you are, cursing like a sailor. I told you a million times to stop swearing like that!”_ I delivered in an angry tone.

But then he stared at me furiously... Like he was about to give me a horrible batter and then he spoke...

 _“Who the fuck are you? You are not TOP-hyung! I thought at first that you were just playing around… But what the fuck! You seemed to be in a different world right now… Like you are fucking TOP-hyung, but is definitely not!”_ He spat.

_“I am not TOP, Jiyong! My name is Choi Seunghyun. I don’t know any TOP so please stop calling me that, will you?”_

Jiyong looked at me keenly and said…

 _“I am actually confused right now. Too many fucking questions are running in and out of my goddamned mind.”_ He respires.  _“How about you tell me how we first met? We better share the same story or I’ll be the one to deliver myself to a mental institution because seriously… You are fucking up my sanity.”_

 


	6. The Seunghyun that would never be me

**T.O.P's POV**

 

 _"Whaaattt? I am a leader of a boy group?”_ His eyes widens with shock.  ** _“And we both rap?”_**

Jiyong’s guffaw resonated inside the living room upon knowing what we doin my world. His eyes were already watery as he constantly hitshis lap while the laughter coruscates from his mouth. I told him about our  _KPop group, Bigbang…_   _Its popularity, its members and their story, what each of the boys’ role in the group is, the VIPs as well as the haters, the genre of their music, the albums that topped the charts, the music videos that they’ve made, the shows that they’ve guested, the tours that they did, the places that they’ve been to, the movies that they’ve starred (if a member has any), the struggles that they’ve had, the scandals each of the boys got into, the fun that they’ve experienced, the fights that only made them stronger, the girls that they’ve dated, the relationships that came and went, the story behind my nickname, the tale behind GD’s legend…_

 _“I wonder why he wouldn’t use our name when he got famous… Well yeah, it’s original... But I would’ve liked it better if he used Jiyong instead.”_ He said with a grin.

 _“So full of yourself, aren’t you?”_  I teased.

 _“Well, if I were as great as he is, I wouldn’t want to hide my real name behind the fame.”_ He smiled and continued, _“It’s just my opinion..._ _Don’t take it seriously.”_

He gestured a  _don’t-mind-me_  wave on his hand. And then he said…

 _“Anyway, how is GD like, as a person… I mean? From what you’ve told me, it seems to me that you guys are close. So… How different are we from each other?”_  He asked.

I told him of their similaritesand differences. _Starting from their physical resemblances down to their stress-inducing dictatorship._ Jiyong dissolved into laughter as I continue to tell him of my absurd commentaries. I impetuously blended a rap in between those descriptions which earned me an adorable stupefied face from Jiyong.

 _“What the fuck?”_  He said dumbfoundedly.  _“So… That’s how Seunghyun would’ve looked like if he… Raps,”_  he chuckles as he tries to mask the yearning he felt for the other.

I suddenly felt for this guy. Because no matter how much he laughs his heart out, the longing can still be seen in his eyes. His love for the other me is not just too obvious but pretty much inculcated into his being... Like he and him were literally as one. His attention fell on the floor along with his smile. I can tell that he is fightingagainst composure… If he was to cryor to laugh about it just to avoid looking forlornin front of me. As much as I wanted to reach out and comfort him, I thought of another way to distractthe guy’s dejection. So here’s my best bet…

 _“Tell me about him… Seunghyun_ _ **,**  I mean.”_ I stared at him expectantly.

He immediately looked at me as a rushof nostalgia becomes visible on his face.

_“Sseunghyun… Well.”_

He tilted his head as he kept thinking of a way on how to start this conversation.

 _“Seunghyun. Yeah…”_  He sighed gently. But then he gazed at me and said, ” _He may have been just like you when we were… Starting.“_ He chuckled.

I can tell that he’s trying his best not to breakdown at this point so I decided to shut my mouth and waited patiently for his uneasiness to subside. He was about to proceed with his story when the clock strikes 12.

 _"Fuck! It’s lunchtime already?”_ He said.  _“I’m gonna go prepare our lunch, okay? Aarghh shhiittt! Duke and Lola!!”_  He bounced off of his feet and dashed into the kitchen.

 _“Duukke and what?”_  I said as I followed him into the kitchen.

Two big hairy dogsgreeted me in the kitchen’s entry. These enormous black and white furballs jumpedinto me as they licked my face while wagging their tails excitedly.

 _“What the fuck?”_ I said with a nettled tone.

I can hear Jiyong’s laughter vibrating across the room as he pacifies the two canines. He held the black one away from me as the white one followed suit.

 _“This is Duke._ (Pats the black)  _And this is Lola._ (Pets the white) _These are our dogs… Our babies, by the way.”_ He grinned as he bear hugged the two giants.

 _“We have dogs?”_ I stated the obvious.

 _“Apparently… Yeah.”_  He said as he continues to play with the two dogs.  _“Seunghyun got them for me… Or for us I mean… To relieve boredom,”_  he says as he stood up from the floor and walked towards the sink.

 _“To relieve boredom, you say? I thought you guys were so in love with each other?”_ I inquired teasingly.

 _“How long was your longest relationship, TOP-sshi?”_  He dismissed my inquiry as he prepares the food for Duke and Lola.

 _“A year and a half… I think?”_  I replied.

Jiyong looked at me with scrutiny as he gently nods his head.

 _“But… Were you serious that time? I mean… Do you think you were in love back then?”_ He questioned mildly.

 _“Ahh… I think so. I don’t involve myself with something I am not serious about.”_  I said with pride.

He angled his lips slightly as he joggles his head up and down.

 _“So you were not as different from him as I thought_ _you were then.”_ He commented as he approached the fridge and checked for what is available to eat.

 _“We have chicken and pasta… Which do you prefer to eat?”_ He said.

 _“Anything will do.”_  I replied.

The truth is, I am nothungry. But I don’t want to be rudeto Jiyong because he seemed to alwayswant to take care of me. I am as assuming as that…  _Or maybe not._  Now why do I always forget that I looked like his fucking husband so he is not just simply doing it for my sake...   _But for the mirrored image of his husband imprinted on my face._

Jiyong decided to cook the chicken with some corn and carrots as side dish. As the cooking near its end, he arranged the table for the two of us and politely asked me to take my seat opposite his as he set our meal into the plates. But because I still can’t help but be intrigued with Jiyong’s last statement, I decided to pryon the subject some more.

 _“So uhmm… Seunghyun has that personality as well? Seriously doing what he’s passionate about?”_  I asked considerately.

Jiyong nods. He appears to be notwanting to have this conversation right now… Like he wasn't ready for this kind of interrogation. So I held my tongue and focus myself on consuming this food in front of me. I have to admit that Jiyong is a good cook.  _While GD doesn’t want anything to do with kitchen stuff, Jiyong takes delight in engaging himself to kitchen preparation._ Seunghyun, sure is one lucky bastard to have married this person. I hope I can get to meetsomeone like Jiyongin the future. Not only does he know the way to a man’s heart but also do a great job at taking care of his someone special.

_Now why the fuck am I making him a standard of my future someone?_

I was about to do a mentalslap on my face when Jiyong’s voice dragged me back to reality.

 _“Seunghyun and I met when we were in high school. He was a year higher than me. We studied at an exclusive school for boys so no stupid questions about that stuff, okay?”_  He said as he chewed up a piece of his chicken.  _“He was a popular junior… Tall and handsome boy who would literally sweep someone off of their feet, a gorgeous guy with that breathtaking smile, a man with that sexy baritoned voice, a graceful dancer,_ _and the captain ball of the basketball team.”_

 _“A basketball player?”_  I can’t help but interrupt.

 _“Well… He dribbles well, an accurate 3-pointer, and a powerful shooting guard… Definitely a basketball player, don’t you think?”_  He said as he smiled broadly.

I am going to pleadguilty for the first three characterization that he had just said. _Yes._ I am positive about that and I am definitely confident to say that I am the _Seunghyun_  that he had just described. But the two remaining is so not fucking me. I can already imagine the laughter that my bandmates would have done if they were here. I am so sure that they would be totally disagreeingon that category. I hate sweating so basketball is a  _no no_  for me. And dancing? _Like what the fuck are you saying? I sure can dance but graceful? No fucking way._

I was busy taking in that idea when Jiyong opted to break my trance…

 _“When I was in high school, I was dared by my friends to join_ _the class’ basketball team. I wasn’t really good at it but it just so happens that I don’t chicken out on a challenge so I happily accepted it. The sophomore team, my team, was really good… That we ended up playing in the championship game. We were all elated because of the winning. It felt like our chances of earning the championship title was just within reach. Not until the day of the highly anticipated game happened. It actually put me in an awkward position.”_  He said as he ate another piece of his chicken meat.

 _“Why?”_ I asked heedlessly.

_“Weren’t you paying attention to what I just said a while ago? Seunghyun was the school team’s captain ball... So yeah, our team has to play against them to win the championship… And I had to play against Seunghyun.”_

The blush that crept along Jiyong’s cheeks made me stare at him in awe. It was captivating to see that with just a singlememory from my doppelganger can inevitablysend his cheeks on fire.

 _“So what happened? Did he let you win?”_ I can’t help but ask.

 _“Well, no. Of course, he won’t… For my benefit.”_  He said as he winked at me.

 _“For your benefit? Why is that?”_ I had to ask.

 _“Simply because if he let our team win, his whole class would kill me.”_ He laughed boisterously.  _“But…_   _He was very gentle during the entire game. He appointed himself to guard me everytime I get inside the court.”_  He smiled without looking at me. _“What’s funny though is that everytime our team had the ball, my team mates would always_ _pass it to me… Like literally all the time. It was mainly because they see me as the perfect distraction to the school’s MVP. There was this one time during the game when Seunghyun decided to tease me in front of the whole crowd, giving me the ball that he was protecting from my grasp."_ His face turned scarlet. _"He fucking stared at me intensely with that fucking gentle smile on his face as he handed me the ball."_

_Now that’s very sweet of me… Him, I mean._

_“So did you grab that opportunity and shoot it?”_  I queried some more.

 _“Of course not! I hate being taken advantage of so I don’t do it to other people.”_ He spat as he regains his train of thought.  _“Seunghyun would always want to do a lot of teasing during high school days. And at that moment, it is just so him to automatically put down his defense so as not to hurt me.”_

And then he continued…

_“But now that I think about it, it was more like he was careful not to… Touch me.”_

_“But why?”_  I asked continually.

_“We were actually not on talking terms when we started being in this relationship. We were both quiet and self-conscious... That a simple hi would even be that hard to escape from our mouth.”_

_What kind of a relationship is that? Who fucking commits to that kind of set-up? That is nonsensical._

_“You must be kidding me. I think I have an idea_ _of how you are whenever you’re with Seunghyun. I hope you’re not forgetting that you just kissed me a while ago… So if you’re that sweet of a person, it would be difficult for you to convince me that you were that reserved with Seunghyun.”_  I chuckled.

Jiyong glared at me.

 _“Well, I didn't_ _know that you weren't him, asshole. I also hope that you’re not forgetting that you do not just have a slight resemblance to my husband but you are actually his carbon copy… With the exception of that fucking personality of yours.”_ He smiled sarcastically.

 _“Alright. I’m sorry about that, babe. I promise I won’t act like a douchebag anymore.”_ I teased.

Jiyong stared at me with disbelief as he tries to get a hold of his grip and said…

 _“Don’t ever call me that. It feels… Weird.”_ He said as his eyes went past me.

 _“Why won’t I? I have agreed_ _on your terms and I think that calling you baby is part of the deal.”_  I replied as I smiled beautifully.

Jiyong thought hard about my answer then finally nods making a follow up comment saying…

 _“Okay. But only when necessary… Meaning, just whenever there’s someone with us… You can do… That.”_  He said as he tries to suppress a blush that’s threatening his cheeks.

 _“Copy, babe.”_  I said as I winked at him.  _“But anyway, let’s talk about how graceful of a dancer Seunghyun is.”_

Jiyong chuckled.

 _“Honestly, that is one of my weaknesses… Seunghyun, dancing.”_ Another blush appeared on his face.  _“Do you… Dance, TOP-sshi?”_  He asked.

 _“Well, I do. But I have to say that there’s a big difference between being good at it than needing to do it. I happen to suck at dancing that no matter how much I submerge myself in it, it just wouldn't love me back.”_  I chortled.

Jiyong roared with laughter. This time, it seems like he was actually enjoyingthe moment, _our moment._

_“Aww… That’s sad. But it’s okay. I think, I am more than lucky enough to witness a rapping Seunghyun as well as a dancing Seunghyun.”_

He smiled… A smile that almost reached his eyes. One of GD’s charms can now be seen into Jiyong’s face.  _The smile that could spellbind a person, a smile that creates a tingling sensation in the stomach, a weapon that can silence anyone who has the privilege of seeing it, and the smile that has always been his best accessory._ I never once told GD how I love his smile knowing how much of a fucking tease he is. So I would neverfucking admit that to him, whatever happens.  _But maybe…_

_“You have a beautiful smile..."_

**_What the fuck did I just say? I sound like I'm trying to hook up with him._ **

Jiyong froze. His mouth open and closes like a fish being deprived of oxygen and withoutany words coming out of it. He snickered as he slightly shook his head and said…

 _“You are such a fucking tease._ _Is that your strategy on hooking up with someone?”_ He said impassively.

 _“I uhh…”_  I exhaled.  _“No, baby. I don’t and won’t do that... I'm married, remember?”_  I grinned at him.

 _“Shut up. You’re making me feel_ _uneasy.”_ He picked up his plate together with his used utensils and placed it down onto the sink.

 _“Be sure to clean the kitchen before you… Uhh… Do whatever you wanna do. Oh and by the way, I am, of course, taking the bedroom while you go sleep on the guest room.”_  He said as he pointed to a room opposite the bedroom.

 _“Uhhmm… It wasn’t part of the deal…”_  I pouted.

 _“Fuck you. Don’t even try talking me out of it with our agreement.”_  He remarked as he marched towards the bedroom and closes the door.


	7. The laugh that led to an Infatuation

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

_**August 1999: Start of the school year** _

> _"Yo, Seunghyun! Is it true?"_ Taeyang asked. 
> 
> _"Uh... Yeah."_  I sighed.
> 
> _"But why? I thought you guys are going steady?"_ Taeyang pried.
> 
> _"Well, I don't do distant relationships."_ I replied.
> 
> _"That's bullshit, Seunghyun. He just graduated. He didn't leave for another country."_ He said.
> 
> _"Still... The fact that he's not always here at school is not among my relationship goals."_  I chuckled.
> 
> _"Damn. You're really something, aren't you?"_  He said as he gave me an inquiring look.
> 
> _"Stop whining, Taeyang! What's done is done. And why do I feel like you're actually surprised about this? Didn't you see this coming? I thought you knew me that well, huh?"_  I asked.
> 
> _"For the record, I knew that this was just around the corner. Once a playboy, always a playboy."_  He rolled his eyes.  _"It's just that, you're lucky to have been in a relationship with him. Afterall, he's the most favored ex-senior guy... Who happens to be so madly in love with a fucking Choi Seunghyun, the school's heartbreaker. Unlucky him."_  He tsk-ed while joggling his head sideways. _"One of these days, you're going to meet that one person who would stop that cheating habit of yours... Someone who would make all the difference in you. And I am going to fucking congratulate that person and give him his very own personalized medal, Choi Seunghyun's karma."_  He laughed hard.
> 
> _"Fuck you, Dong Youngbae! I'm not talking to you anymore."_ I marched towards the high school building.
> 
> I can hear Taeyang's laughter from the background. He finally reached my side and asked...
> 
> _"So... Are we about to search for your next prospect?"_ He smiled like an idiot. 
> 
> I glanced up to his direction and answered with a grin. 
> 
> _"Now you're talking. Help me find someone new to play with."_
> 
> As expected, today's first hours were nothing but chatting... How we spent our summer vacation, what places did we go, and other extra curricular activities that took place during summer. All of the students in our school knew each other because it's not that actually big for us to overlook a new student. Ever since freshman years, Taeyang and I were seatmates. Although we have been acquainted since middle school, we only became close during our high school years. 
> 
> Also, we are considered to be the school's charmers. Taeyang leading the dance club, which I am also a member of... And me, taking the school to every basketball championships. That title is my ticket to anyone who interests me. No one can say no to Choi Seunghyun... And by that, I mean... **NO ONE.**
> 
> _**LUNCHTIME** _
> 
> _"Come on, Seunghyun! I'm fucking starving."_  Taeyang dragged my arm. 
> 
> _"Alright. Alright. Jesus! You're such a pig."_ I laughed.
> 
> Taeyang and I went to the cafeteria, the best spot to look for my new toy. We bought some sandwiches and sodas to fill our stomachs while chatting around with some lower batch students. We picked the seat near the corner as we munched our purchase. 
> 
> _"So how about that freshmanover there? I think his name is Suga._ _Doesn't he fit_ _your taste?"_  Taeyang asked.
> 
> _"Too young."_ I dismissed his idea.
> 
> _"Oh... Kay. Uhmm... Him! Uh... What's that kid's name? Ahh right... Jimin. How about the sophomore dancer?"_  He suggested.
> 
> _"Stilll too young."_ I took a piece of my sandwich.
> 
> _"Too fucking choosy, huh? Alright, fine! A senior. You want someone older than us, of course. Let's see..."_ He looked around the room.  _"Ahh... Yunho-hyung!How about him? Although he's too perfect for you... But I bet he won't say no to a Choi Seunghyun."_ He grinned.
> 
> _"Well, he might be the one."_ I smiled mischievously. 
> 
> Suddenly, there was a loud laughter that turned all heads to the owner of the voice. The person seemed to not mind the stares that he got from his boisterous laughing. 
> 
> _**KWON JIYONG** _
> 
> _"Does he have... Someone?"_ I asked while I continued to stare at him. 
> 
> _"According to a reliable source, he's single."_ He said with a teasing tone.  _"I am sensing an interest_ _over here._ " He smiled widely.
> 
> I smirked. 
> 
> Taeyang crossed the table to where Jiyong was sitting while I decided to let him have his way and stayed put. Taeyang's best at asking someone whom I didn't have the guts to pursue. I consider him the "bridge" to every person I've had relations with. 
> 
> Jiyong momentarily glanced at my direction as Taeyang continued his persuasion. I tried to lock stares at him earning a furious blush that crept along his face. He managed to disentangle from my stare, as he seemed to be thinking deeply on how to reply at Taeyang. I didn't get to understand his answer because as always, he was laughing while speaking. Taeyang finally nods and turned around walking towards our spot.
> 
> _"Now that's new..."_ He grinned.
> 
> _"What is?"_  I asked inquiringly.
> 
> Taeyang continued to grin at me and said...
> 
> _"Jiyong said he’d... Think about it. Like wow! He didn't just say that, did he?"_ He laughed hard.
> 
> I stared at Jiyong as he continued to laugh with his classmate's joke  _(or I think it was a joke)._  It actually amused me that he always seemed to be oblivious to his environment. Just a moment ago, he blushed at my assault. But right now, he was lost in his own world again. 
> 
> _"Hey Choi! Are you listening to me?"_ Taeyang asked.
> 
> "Uh... Yeah." I responded with eyes glued at Jiyong.  _"Get him to say YES, Taeyang. That kid is going to be worthwhile."_ I grinned.
> 
> Taeyang laughed.
> 
> _"Not very patient, I see? You're being pushy, you know that? He said he’d think about it."_ He smirked.
> 
> _"Fuck you. Just get him to say yes. Stop blabbering."_ I said annoyed. 
> 
> **A month later...**
> 
> _"Fucking hell! Why is he playing hard to get?"_  I retorted.  _"What the fuck does it take for him to say yes?"_
> 
> As usual, Taeyang laughed at my complaints.
> 
> _"Well, I did my best_ _already. Maybe it's about time that you do this on your own."_  He said.
> 
> _"Fuck no.You know I don't ask.... Personally about this. You do this for me, remember?"_  The irritation can be heard in my voice.
> 
> _"Well, I can't do anything anymore, Seunghyun. He actually said NO a lot of times. Maybe you should just give up. He seemed to be uninterested in you, anyway."_ He ridiculed.
> 
> _"Fuck you. I don't take no for an answer."_  I replied irritably.
> 
> _"Then do it yourself, you asshole! I told you he already said that he's not into this kind of relationship. He's not like the others that you've swayed. I can't fucking understand why keep pushing yourself into him!"_ He said in a peeved tone.
> 
> _"I don't accept reasons like that, Taeyang! I want him! Come on! Try it one more time!"_  I voiced out loudly.
> 
> Taeyang stared at me for a minute and said...  
> 
> _"Alright. But you better fucking stay by my side while I court the little bastard for you. I want you to fucking hear what he has to say so that you'll finally accept that he doesn't want you, you egoistic playboy!"_  
> 
> _**LUNCHTIME** _
> 
> Taeyang and I planned to corner Jiyong... So we went to their classroom right after class. Their class had just finished their biology experiment and was cleaning up already when Jiyong spotted us. He settled down from his laughter. A number of his classmates were already marching their way out of the laboratory. They seemed shock to see us along the hallway. Some of them looked curious while some of them were blushing. Both of us just smiled back at them until Jiyong and his friends emerged from the door. Taeyang dragged me towards Jiyong's location as he sustained his amusement at his friend's absurdities.
> 
> _"Hey Jiyong!"_ Taeyang intruded.
> 
> _"Uh... Hi Youngbae-hyung!"_ His backhand was at his mouth trying to suppress the giggles.
> 
> Taeyang elbowed me to say something until...
> 
> _"Uhmm... Hello Seunghyun-hyung!"_ He greeted with a cagey smile.
> 
> _"Hhello... Jjiyong."_
> 
> _**I did not just tripped over my tongue, did I?** _
> 
> Taeyang laughed to relieve the tension... Or I mean, at my uneasiness. 
> 
> _"Jiyong, I'm sorry but do you have a minute?"_  Taeyang asked. 
> 
> _"Uh... Okay."_  He turned around to his friends and said,  _"Hey... Uh... Save a seat for me, okay? And please get me some of that chocolate cake. I'll pay you later, I promise."_  He said.
> 
> _**Of course, he likes chocolates. Why didn't I think of that?** _
> 
> _"Uh... Why don't we just talk at the cafeteria?"_ I smiled at him. 
> 
> A red blush tinted his cheeks.
> 
> _"Oh... Okay."_  He called out for his friends and yelled,  _"Hey wait up!"_
> 
> Taeyang and I followed Jiyong and his friends. I paced up to Jiyong's side who tensed the moment he felt my presence. He ordered for some apples, a chocolate cake and a chocolate milk shake as his drink. 
> 
> _**This kid has a sweet tooth.** _
> 
> He was about to get his wallet when I handed over some bills to the cashier as payment for his purchase. 
> 
> _"Hey, I got this."_ I flaunted my winning smile. 
> 
> Again, he blushed. But then he stole the money from the lady's hand and offered it back to me.
> 
> _"Uhmm... Sseunghyun hyuung... You... Don't have to. I can pay for this."_ He said without looking at me.
> 
> _"I know, Jiyong. I just... Want to... Do this."_  I said while I insisted on paying for his food.
> 
> I took advantage of his current frozen state. I paid for his food as his friends teased him to death. He knuckled his friend while his face turned scarlet. But the moment we got out of the line, he moved towards me and immediately reached for my pocket. He dipped his hands on it as he turned around and ran towards his friends. I checked to see what he placed inside my pocket. It was money, of course. He gave back what I paid for. 
> 
> _**God! This kid really is something!** _
> 
> Taeyang nudged me, pulling me back from my trance. A goofy grin surfaced into my face as Taeyang called my attention and motioned towards Jiyong's table. 
> 
> _"Hey, Jiyong! Uhmm... Can you sit with us?"_ Taeyang asked.
> 
> Jiyong looked shocked. 
> 
> _"Uhmm... Okay, hyung."_ He picked up his tray and followed us at our usual spot.
> 
> Jiyong sat opposite Taeyang. He picked up his shake and slurped it until it nears the middle. I stared at him in wonder as Taeyang decided to start the conversation.
> 
> _"Jiyong, uhmm... You know my friend, Seunghyun, right?"_ He asked with a teasing smile.
> 
> _"Of course, hyung."_  He smiled nervously.
> 
> _"You see... He... He really likes you."_ He said while looking at me.
> 
> I fucking blushed.
> 
> _"He's really interested in getting to know more about you."_ He smiled. 
> 
> Jiyong stared at his tray without looking back at us. But then a laughter startled both Taeyang and I as Jiyong composed himself and answered him back.
> 
> _"Hyung, uhm... I already gave you... My answer."_ He stayed still and smiled at Taeyang.
> 
> _"I know... But..."_ Taeyang replied.
> 
> _"What can I do to change your mind?"_ I interrupted.
> 
> Both of them looked at me with shock. The atmosphere suddenly became warm causing a flushed state into my being.
> 
> _"I... I... Really... Wwaant... To know more about you."_ I finished.
> 
> Jiyong looked at me with pink tinge on his cheeks.
> 
> _"Seunghyun hyung, I... I don't... Know. I... I.... Don't really... Do...That."_ He stared again at his tray as the blush terrorizes his face.
> 
> _"I'm aware of that already."_ I said.  _"What does it take... For you to... say yes?"_ I stared at him. 
> 
> _"Nnotthing."_  He muttered.  _"But... Hyung, why me?"_ He asked.  _"I mean... There are others who are... Willing to do this... With you. So... Why me?"_ He finally glanced at me. 
> 
> _**How the hell do I answer that? Why him, anyway? He rejected me a lot of times already but still... I am pushing myself to him. What's with this kid?** _
> 
> _"Let me just say that you are the first person who I actually asked directly."_ I smiled at him. _"There's no particular reason why I chose you."_  I continued.  _"But seriously... You are driving  me crazy."_ I teased.
> 
> Again, his cheeks turned red. 
> 
> _"We don't have to continue... If you don't like it anymore."_  I assured him. _"Atleast, we tried... Right? I mean you'll never know what could possibly happen."_  I smiled at him.
> 
> Jiyong seems to be in deep thought until he said...
> 
> _"Uh... Hyung... I don't really..."_
> 
> _"Please think about it for the last time before you say no. Once you've made up your mind about this, then I'll stopbothering you."_  I flashed my breathtaking smile.
> 
> The bell rang so we marched our way towards the classroom. The afternoon went on with lectures that stung my temple. The pain almost radiated throughout my entire brain, which immediately changed my ecstatic mood to easily irritated. The throbbing got me exasperated for the rest of the afternoon up until dismissal time. 
> 
> I was running down the stairs when Jiyong suddenly popped out of nowhere. 
> 
> _**Or maybe I just didn't see him? My eyesight's a little blurry right now. Fuck migraine!** _
> 
> I wish it wasn't him who was in front of me right now. I better hope that my hot temper would not ruin this moment for me. Jiyong looked at me with worry and said...
> 
> _"Uh… Are you... Okay, hyung? You look... Pale."_  He scans my face.
> 
> _"I'm... Fine."_  I stopped myself.
> 
> He drew out his hand... With a skillfully sealed paper on it. He pushed it towards me as he blushed furiously. He turned around and ran towards the opposite direction. 
> 
> _**What the hell is wrong with him?** _
> 
> I paced through the corridor and exited the school grounds. Noona was already outside waiting for me so I hopped inside the car service. I was uncomfortably sweating so I searched for my handkerchief inside my pocket. A note fell down along with my hanky. It was Jiyong's letter. Even with the fucking pounding in my skull, I couldn't help but to read his letter.
> 
> _**I don't know how this works but...** _
> 
> _**I'd like to give it a try.** _
> 
> _**Jiyong** _

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Jiyong's eyes were as broad as daylight by the time that I finished reminiscing. He kept blinking his eyes to get a hang of my story. He wobbled his head and said...

 _"That didn't fucking happen! Sure we were schoolmates... But we didn't have that kind of interaction."_  He opposed.  _"Are you a fucking novelist now?"_  He chuckled.

 _"If I were to make up a story of how we met, It would favor me the most... I mean, you actually rejected me a couple of times and that hurt my ego."_  I replied as-a-matter-of-factly.

He moved towards me and grabbed the collar of my top.

_"Who the fuck are you? I am absolutelysure that you are not TOP-hyung! Who the hell are you?"_

_"I am Seunghyun! What is wrong with you? How many times do I have to repeat that?"_  I said. _"And would you take your hands off of my shirt, please?"_  I wrapped my hand to that abusive grip. 

 _"Is there even a difference between TOP and Seunghyun? Hyung never mentioned that he has a twin. So Seunghyun and TOP is one person."_ He detached his hand from my polo.  _"Did you hit your head or something? Are you having an amnesia?"_  He looked at me with alarm. 

_**What the hell is he talking about? What is happening here? Why does it seem like we are not communicating properly even though we are talking in the same language?** _

_"Jiyong, I think... There's something wronghere. I am sure that I am notdreaming because I pinched myself like a hundred times already."_  I furthered. 

 _"Finally, we are on the same page now!"_  He shifted his right leg over the other and crossed his arms.   _"So how do we resolve this? How do we get to the bottom of this shitty condition?"_  He said sarcastically. 

He thought hard  for a moment. After a lot of weird expressions on his face, I sensed that he has found a way to settle this situation. And then he stared at me and suddenly asked...

_**"Tell me how we ended up getting... Married?"** _

 


	8. Getting to know more about Jiyong... And his friends

**T.O.P's POV**

 

 _“Get dressed. We’re going out tonight. It’s time for you to meet the group.”_ He announced as he ended the call.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It’s been a month since I got into this dimension... Or frequency... Or I don't really kow where the fuck I am right now.All I can remember is that I got fucking drunk the night before I woke up in this universe… Or world… Or fuck! I don’t know the right term for this shit. I tried to do some research and found a handful of termsand theoriesavailable over the internet. Oh and yeah… Even the fucking dictionary offers explanations too which all the more fucked upmy sanity. As I read more about it, a seriousthrob in my head comes forth. I felt like all the screw that heldmy brain in place was about to fucking give up. But I must’ve been a good person because the higher power took pity on me. No matter how messed up the current situation I’m in, the Gods rewarded me with Jiyong by my side. 

So here I am, trying to look for something presentable to wear for the so-calledgroup dinner/get together. I’ve discovered that Seunghyun’s clothes are almost like mine’s. From those elegant black and grey tuxes to his comfy sweatshirts, I can almost say that we have the same taste in fashion. The only difference this time is the spacious walk-in closet that I wasn’t entitled to.  _Yup. I am still mourning over that damned cabinet until now._ But anyway, no matter how crammed up the wardrobe in front of me may seem to be, it was pretty much organized per category. Every piece of clothing were arranged impeccably. Seunghyunmust’ve been as obsessive-compulsive as I am.

I settled over an ankle length black trousers along with a plain white polo toppedby a royal blue pullovers. I can say that Seunghyun and I shares the same fondness for loafers because of the heap of pairs that was neatly stored at those impervious-to-air shoeboxes. I picked up the most stylish ebony colored pair I could spot on and fitted it out. Unsurprisingly, it was exactly my size.Now that my lower extremities are secured, I moved over to covermy top half. I was just about to put on the white polo when Jiyong barged into the bedroom.

 _“TOP-sshi! Are you still not… Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I thought…”_  He says as his face turned red with embarrassment.

I must say that his abashedstate is really cute. As much as I would’ve wanted him to stay that way, I have to stop picking on his conservativeness. I’m afraid that if I annoy the fuck out of him, he would throwme out on the streets. _He wouldn’t do that, would he?_  And I definitely wouldn’t wantthat to happen. So I decided against teasing him and casually dismissed his apologies. I flauntedthat fucking smile that I was known for at his location, which immediately burned his face.

 _Alright, I’m sorry._  I guess I am a natural born teaser. While GD would’ve been a aportby replying unconcernedly at my casual display of affection, Jiyong would either brush it off instantly or curse me to death.

 _“Welcome back, babe.”_  I still can’t help but tease him.

Jiyonginstinctivelystepped backwards. He turned around and rushed towards the door as I strode on his path to catch up with him. Since no one can outshine these long legs that I was gifted, I managed to gain onhim just in time. He had already opened the door half way and was about to move onto the other side when I grabbed his arm to stop him.

 _“Now that’s rude.”_ I muttered.  _“Where’s my I-am-home-kiss?”_  I voiced sensually.

Jiyong tensed _._  His eyes look bewildered. He stared at me for the longesttime as his eyes turned furious.

 _“TOP-sshi, do you fucking want to sleep out on the street?”_  He said.

_Confirmed. He wouldn’t hesitate to evict me out of his house._

_“Now would you be so kind to get your fucking hands off of me and cover up your goddamned body so we can get going?”_ He said with blushing cheeks. I was unfettering the grip on his arm when he said,  _“As soon as you finish your modelling session in here, call me outside so I can change into a more appropriate clothes.”_

He turned around and left withouthearing my reply. _ASS._ That’s the perfect word to describe how I acted a while ago. I can't help but tease him. Probably because I was so used to it especially with GD. And I fucking keep on forgetting that this person right here is not him. 

I dressed up completely and gelled my hair away from my face. I was staring at my reflection when my phone… Or I mean, Seunghyun's phone rang. The caller ID stunned my being that I found myself contemplatingwhether to answer it or not. Curiosity got the best of me so I slid my thumb into its screen and answer the call.

_“Uhmm… Hello? Uh… Taeyang?”_

_“Hey man! Where are you?”_ He asked with a given clue of anxietyin his voice.

 _“Hheeyy.”_  I replied.

I couldn’t help but stutterupon hearing his voice. Maybe because I wasn’t expectinghim to be here in this world as well. I began to wonder what’s my connection with him in this universe.

 _"Yah! Choi Seunghyun!"_  He shouted. 

 _“Heyyy...”_  I answered. 

 _“What the fuck are you doing? Are you busy? Did you even hear what I’ve just said? I’ve been talking here for… 10 minutes already!”_  He cried out loudly.

 _“I’m… Sorry. I was… I was… putting on some clothes.”_ I replied.

 _“Fuck you, dude.”_  He retorted.  _“Get your ass up here. Seungri’s a fucking mad man! You have to talk to him. And I am hoping that he would fucking listen to you.”_ He spat.

 _“What’s wrong?”_ I questioned.

 _“Just get your lazy ass up here. It would be better to talk about this in person.”_ He said as he ended the call.

_So Seungri’s here as well? But… Were we talking about the same Seungri? Because as far as my fucked up brain could remember, he happens to be a lunatic as well. I wonder what happened._

I opened the bedroom door and was about to call Jiyong when I heard him talking to someone over his phone. I was half way thru the living room already when he noticed my presence.

 _“Alright. We’ll be there. I just got home from the pharmacy. Let me change a_ _nd we’ll get going.”_  He said.

As he puts down his phone, his worried face turned to me and said…

 **_"_ ** _Daesung broke upwith Seungri."_

_What the fuck? Daesung and Seungri? In a fucking relationship?_

Jiyong saw the surprise that was evident on my face.

 _“Oh yeah…Sorry. I forgot.”_ He displayed his most apologetic smile at me.  _"Daesung_ _is one of your best friends who happens to be with Seungri. But wait a minute… Did Taeyang call you? How about Minho?”_  He asked.

_“Taeyang called a while ago. Minho? Who’s Minho?”_

_"Of course... Minho would definitely be with Daesung."_ He muttered under his breath. _"Lee Minho and Kang Daesung were the closest._ _They were best friends first before you guys became  four.”_ He explained.  _“What did Taeyang say, by the way?”_  He interrogates.

_What the fuck? Lee Minho-sshi is one of my best friends? That’s insane. Who else is here?_

_“He told me to get my lazy ass up there… I don’t know where. He also told me that Seungri’s crazy... What the fuck happened?”_ I finally asked.

 _“I don’t exactly know what happened. Dara told me that the two of them broke up... And that Seungri was devastated. She also said that she’s hoping that Seungri would listen to me.”_  He uttered.

 _“Funny how I got the same expectation like yours. Taeyang also told me that he was hoping that Seungri would listen to me. Are you and Seunghyun the stronghold of the group? They seem to look up to both of you.”_ I said.

 _“Uh… I think so. The truth is, the group is mostly… Like… Us… Or I mean, like Seunghyun and me except for Taeyang and Dara. They're different."_ He clarifies.  _“Seunghyun and I’s relationship is the longest in the group and I think, that’s the reason why they look up to us. So please keep i_ _t to yourself whatever odd feelings you may feel towards… This kind of set-up.”_ He said cautiously.  _“Oh by the way, TOP-sshi… Do you want them to know about your... Current situation?"_ He inquired.

_Now that is a good question. Should we tell his friends or I mean, our friends about my fucked up situation? Or should I just go with the flow?_

_“What do you think? Are they going to be as accepting as you?”_  I said with a raised eyebrow.

 _“Well… It’s actually hard to believe, TOP-sshi. Sometimes, I don’t even believe you… And your situation. But maybe I’m as gullible as that.”_  He chuckled.  _“But if I happen to know that you’re fucking up with me… I’m going to fucking beat you to death.”_ He said seriously.

I laughed loudly at his comment. _Seriously._ I may be a psycho at times but I choose when and what to joke about. The seiousness in his voice actually bothered me though. I do understand when he said that sometimes he doesn’t believe me because I would’ve felt the sameif I were in his shoes. My case isn't just unimaginable but totally otherworldly. 

And while I was carefulnot to displeasehim, my fucking flirtyinstinct suddenly took controlof the situation. I found myself narrowing the gap between the two of us as I resolve to play against his mentality.

 _“Baby, you know it’s okay to touch me… If you want. As long as I can do the same… To you.”_ I said as I extended my hands to touch him.

With a scarlet face, Jiyong  _slapped_  my hand and backed awayfrom me. He glared at me and said…

_“Do you have a fucking dementia? I thought I told you that only Seunghyun touches me? Stop being a fucking tease, will you?"_

He pushed me aside as he marched towards the bedroom to change his clothes. It was only at that time when I realized that Jiyong was in a…  _What do you call that? Oh right. A scrub suit._ He was wearing a royal blue scrub suit along with his white chucks. His windblown locks perfectly matched his uniform… Making it seem like the blonde was glowing. I have to admit that he actually looked good in that hospital uniform or scrub suit.

_Fuck. Was I checking him out?_

 

_At the parking lot…_

_“I’m going to have to drive for now since you do not know where we’re going.”_ He said.

_Fine with me. I don’t fucking drive._

He pushed the unlock button on his key as we walk towards his car.

_And what the fucking hell? A monster pick up truck? Okay, fine. It’s an exaggeration. But a pick up truck? Seriously?_

GD happens to like stylish and sporty cars. From those limitededition classic Rolls Royce down to his fast and speedy Audi R8. He loves them so much that he kept buying those shit without caring to consider the restricted parking lot that his house could provide.

 _“So a truck in a stick shift transmission? GD would’ve killed you if he happens to see that you own one of this.”_  I said unmindfully.

 _“I don’t see anything wrong in having them. Its manual transmission makes me feel in control while the built makes me feel safe and confident.”_ He says, as he turns left at an intersection.  _“And FYI: I happen to like big things.”_ He grinned.

 _"Big things?”_ My eyes expanded as a smirk developed into my lips.

 _“Oh fuck you. You and your moronic thoughts are fucking loud again.”_ The undeniable vexed tone can be heard radiating from his mouth.

An uproarious laughter echoed inside his auto. I find it amazing how Jiyong seems to be always right when it comes to interpretingmy reaction. Again, I am having a memory lapse attack... Failing to remember that Seunghyung might've had the same expression as me. And that may be the reason why Jiyong could easily read thru me.

 _“So that’s why you love Seunghyun… Because he’s big... I mean tall.”_  I grinned mischievously.

Even with him driving, he wouldn’t mind sacrificing both our lives just to fucking glareat me. _Yes. Those ferocious eyes were fixed on me._

 _“You fucking idiot! Seunghyun’s not a thing! He’s a goddamned human being.”_ He angrily replied.  _“Then how about I help you save those stupid brain cells that empowers that sick mind of yours, huh? And while I do that, allow me also to redeem_ _myself so as not to give you any perverted ideas with regards to what I have just mentioned a while ago. You better listen to every word I’m about to say or I’m not gonna hesitate to bruise that fucking handsome face. Is that clear?”_ He said while he glanced up to checkif I heard him right.

_Did he just… Complimented me? That handsome face? It was for me, right? How about I fucking stop being so full of myself? Because I know that it wasn’t meant for me. Is there a way for me to remember that his husband and I looked exactly alike? I’m gonna have to see a doctor and ask him for some brain vitamins. I’m beginning to think that Jiyong’s right. I have a… What did he call that again? Starts with a D… Damnesia? Shit! It was just a moment ago… And I can’t even remember that? What the fuck?_

I was literally talking to myself… Feeling confused because of what Jiyong had commented. When he decided to carry on with his dialogue.

_“I am a sucker for control. I like being in control… If I don’t, I get weak... Powerless. So imagine if you can get a hold of something big... How compelling would that be, don’t you think? Having that kind of control makes you experience the effects of narcotics without actually taking it. Elated, fearless, dominating, confident, euphoric… And at the same time, addicting. So yeah… I'm a control addict."_

I was blownaway by his reason. While GD is brilliantly amazing, this one right here is more _profound…_ Uses comprehensible words but will leave you dumbfounded with its meaning.

 _“A love for control, huh? So do you also practice_ _that approach with your relationship? With Seunghyun?”_  I asked inquisitively.

 _“Not because I’m a self-confessed control addict means that I put that attitude into effect all the time.”_ He cleared up.  _“With Seunghyun, everything is different. He is the only person who can bend that damned habit. It’s like every principles that I’ve been living up to got launched into space… And never came back. I became a different person… Not perfect, not even close to what I’ve always envisioned myself to become… But a much more better person."_ He says as he positions his truck to a vacant parking slot.

 _“A better person?”_  I pried.

 _“Uh… Yeah.”_  He smiled gently.  _“You know the most important thing in life is to be happy... Because when you’re happy, everything else follows. And I get to experience that with Seunghyun. From his serious reactions down to his goofy face, his intelligent views down to his crazy ideas… No matter how cruel the world is, everything he does makes my world seemed imperfectly perfect."_ His smile reached his eyes this time then continued,   _"His presence is my daily dose of endorphins."_  He said as he turns off the truck’s engine.

_“Endor… What?”_

_"Endorphins... The brain's feel-good chemicals."_  He chuckled.

 

**At the gathering...**

_“Yo Seunghyun!”_

Taeyang moved aside for Jiyong and me to get inside the condo unit. He has that troubled expression on his face as he extends his hand to offerme a handshake. I took his hand as we all sauntered into the living room.

As we stepped inside the receiving room, I came to acknowledge the familiar faces looking at me. Dara-sshi was sitting beside…  _Is that Kang Seung Yoon? Shit! I knew it! They really look good together_. Kim Soo-hyun was there as well. The sight of them rooted me on the spot.

The mixed smell of liquor and cigarettes were present inside the room. There were pizza boxes, chips with dips, and assorted brands of chocolates loiteringaround the area. But what actually caught my attention was the sobbing that emanates from the umber-haired guy right in the middle of the room. As soon as that guy recognizesour existence, he jumpedinto Jiyong’s arms.

 _“Jiyong!! You’re finally here!”_ He cried as he embraced him tightly.

A slight feeling of irritationsurfaced into my being.  _Seungri clinging into Jiyong like that isn’t really pleasing to my eyes._

_Am I fucking… Jealous?_

Seungri finally lets go of Jiyong as he motioned towards me and gave me a hug.

 _“Hyuunng… Daesung... It's Daesung, hyung…”_ His cry turned into a wail.

I do not know what to do at this time. I’ve never consoledanyone before. And knowing that I am really not familiar with Seungri and his situation, I can’t think of the right words to say to him. Suddenly, Jiyong came to my rescue. He soothed his back while saying…

 _“Shhh… We’re here, Seungri. We’re here.”_  He said.

 _“Daesung broke up with me, Jiyong. He fucking left me..."_ Again, he cried.

 _“What happened?”_ I asked.

 _“He… He said he liked someone else. He fucking fell in love with someone else, hyung! How on earth did he fell in love with someone else when I am fucking here?"_ He spat as the tears continuously runs down his cheeks.

 _“How can he not_ _be contented with me? And how the fuck could he fall in love with someone from a different country? I know Daesung. He’s fucking clingy and dependent.He wouldn’t even last a day not being with me. That’s why I don’t understand it. I can't understand this. I feel like shit."_

_Just a brain exercise: Daesung broke up with Seungri because he fell in love with someone else… Someone from another country. Daesung is clingy and dependent. Good. I remembered it correctly._

_“So, this someone… Is it a girl or a guy also?”_  I asked nonchalantly.

The group eyed me up like I just lost my mind. They gawked into me as they try to process what just came outof my mouth. Suddenly, a thought occurred into my mind.

_Oh fuck! How can I mindlessly say that out loud? And in front of these people? Jiyong and I agreed that we’d just stick with the marriage thingy. So why the hell did I say that?_

Finally, Jiyong butts in with the lamest possible excuse that I’ve ever heard.

 _“What he meant though was if this guy was just like you? I mean... Girly-looking.”_  He couldn’t even make himself believe what he had just said.

 _“Fuck you, Jiyong. I’m not effeminate looking. That's your very own description... Your fucking category."_ Seungri said with conviction.

 _“Why thank you for that, Seungri. Atleast I know that you're still you... And that you're still with us."_ He smiled sarcastically.

 


	9. Anchor

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

_When all the world is spinning_

_Round like a red balloon_

_Way up in the clouds_

_And my feet will not_

_Stay on the ground_

_You anchor me back down_

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

> **October 2005 : Incheon Airport**
> 
> _"Tell me I'm ready for this, Taeyang. I'm fucking nervous."_ I said while walking back and forth the airport's smoking room. 
> 
> _"Calm down, Seunghyun! It's going to be alright. You've planned out everything perfectly. Have some faith in yourself, man!"_ He chuckled.
> 
> _"I know. But…"_
> 
> _"Stop fretting, please. You're going to be fine."_ He interrupted. _"If you don't stop doing that, you'll attract negative vibes... I tell you. You wouldn't want this to fail now, would you?"_ He said.
> 
> _"Of course, I don't. I'm just... This is..."_ I hung my words.
> 
> _"It's going to be fine. Trust me on that. Just stick with the plan. I'm just right here, whatever happens."_ He assured.
> 
> _"Thanks, bro! I better hope that I won't mess this up."_ I answered tensely.
> 
> _"You won't."_ He secured. _"Now get your ass out there and stop with your buts... You will ruin everything if you keep being pessimistic."_ He nagged. _"Tell Jiyong I said hi, okay? Have a safe flight!"_ He beamed.
> 
> I went out of the room and made my way to Jiyong. He was drinking his favorite frappe while smiling over his phone. I neared him, took the seat next to him, and leaned over to look at what he's giggling about.
> 
> _"Oh, hey baby!"_ He said as he blocked out his phone.
> 
> _"Hi, babe!"_ I smiled back. _"What are you smiling about?"_ I pried.
> 
> _"Uh... It's Seungri."_ He smiled anxiously. _"He was... Asking me if I brought some... Sexy night gowns."_ He chortled while ducking his head to hide his flushed face. _"As if I'd wear those shit..."_ He followed up as his face continued to blush.
> 
> I've always loved the blush that peeps out on his face whenever he encounters teasing... May it be from me or from someone in our group. I flaunted that sexy grin on him and pouted while saying...
> 
> _"You didn't? You didn't bring any lingerie, baby?"_ I voiced out sensually.
> 
> He blushed furiously as he hit my chest while smiling abashedly. 
> 
> _"Stop it, Seunghyun."_ He half suppressed a giggle. _"You know how I feel about... Those clothes... If you can even call them clothe_ s." 
> 
> We laughed at our little discussion as our flight got called out. We walked hand in hand as we neared the said gate. I handed over our tickets to the ground stewardess and trailed over the line making our way towards our seat. Airplanes scared the shit out of Jiyong so I bought us the first class seat.
> 
> The first time we went abroad, the flight almost ruined our trip. Jiyong was antsy during the entire flight... Tight grip on my hand, legs continuously jerking, and his face as white as my palm. He battled towards the uneasiness... And I pitied him for that. No matter how much I assured him that everything will be okay, it didn't made him feel any better.
> 
> And for that reason, I always make sure to buy either the first class tickets or the business class seat in the next few trips that we did. Daytime flights, as I've noticed, are more tolerable for Jiyong so I never book the ones scheduled at night. Flying scares him still but the frequency made it bearable enough on his end.
> 
>  
> 
> **Take off**
> 
> _"Baby, are you okay?"_ I laced my hand unto him.
> 
> _"Uh... Talk to me when we're up in the air already."_ His hand clenched unto mine.
> 
> I caressed his hand as he snuggled up to me. I can feel his shaky breath in my neck so I unfisted my hand and embraced him securely. He hid his face unto my chest as the plane inclined towards its right altitude. 
> 
> As soon as the plane stabilizes, Jiyong sighed audibly and glanced up to kiss my cheek. He said...
> 
> _"Thank you, baby... Wouldn't make it without you."_ He smiled sweetly.
> 
> I laughed softly and replied...
> 
> _"Babe, why is it that you couldn't get a hang of this? I mean, we've travelled a lot of times already... But you're still shaky over an airplane ride. Now don't tell me that you have a fear of heights because there isn't a need for me to drag you inside the plane everytime we travel."_ I said while locking my hand unto his.
> 
> _"I'm not scared of heights, babe."_ He held my hand closer to his cheeks. _"It's the alteration in speed I am always worried about."_ He gazed into my eyes lovingly. _"Not being in control of the plane's movement creates an anxiety in me that I couldn't contain. My brain continues to flash those scary aircrash confidential shit that I've been watching." He exhales. "I'm sorry, baby. You know how my brain works... If only I could stop acting like an idiot, I would. I'm trying, babe... Believe me, I am doing my best not to be like this."_ He nuzzled into my neck.
> 
> _"I know, baby. Don't be sorry."_ I pressed both of my palms unto his cheeks. _"If only I could make a teleport machine so that you won't have to endure the hassles of a plane ride..."_ I laughed mildly. 
> 
> He chuckled and said...
> 
> _"You don't have to, babe. Your presence already chills me out."_ His gummy smile surfaced into his lips.
> 
> I am really grateful that the entire flight was peaceful. The plane didn't run into a lot of turbulence which relaxed Jiyong during the whole flight. 
> 
> After a few more hours, the plane starts descending. Jiyong once again nestled unto my chest as I fastened my grip onto his fingers to calm him. I tucked his fringe unto his ears while I kissed his forehead and said...
> 
> _"I'm here, baby. Don't be scared."_
> 
> He peeked thru my chest and heaved a sigh of relief. He smiled gently and gave me a peck on the lips. I held him close to my body and hugged him firmly.
> 
>  
> 
> **Touchdown**
> 
> We went down the aircraft and passed thru the immigration. The hotel service was already there when we got out of the airport. The driver greeted us and placed our luggages in the compartment of the vehicle. We mounted the car as he drove off the airport.
> 
> We were in awe when we arrived at the hotel. I know that it was a 5-star hotel but I didn't know that it was this beautiful. Jiyong's smile can be compared to a cheshire's grin... Wide and achingly beautiful. The bell man helped us with our things as he guided us towards the elevator. The moment we reached our room, he tapped the key card and ushered us inside. He unloaded our luggages from his cart as I gave him instructions on where to place them. As soon as he finished, I handed him some bills as a thank you for his assistance.
> 
> Again, for the second time, we were appalled. The room's view was breathtaking. Our eyes glued itself into the sight. I was the first to acquire my consciousness so I paced towards Jiyong's spot and hugged him from behind. He squirmed towards my chest and said...
> 
> _"Baby, this is... Beautiful."_ His eyes still affixed on the picturesque scenery. _"Thank you for this."_ He turned around and clasped his arms unto the back my neck.
> 
> As always, I initiated the kissing. His lips moved along mine while my tongue traced along his plump lips for entry. It was about to get deeper when a ring halted us from doing so. He slowly moved away from me as he released a lovely smile on his lips and said...
> 
> _"It must be Seungri."_
> 
> He untangled his arms from my nape and answers the call.
> 
> _"What?"_ He sounded annoyed.
> 
> _"Yeah. We've just checked in, Mom."_ He ridiculed.
> 
> I chuckled as I fished out my phone from my pocket. I noticed that there were three messages flashing into the screen so I checked each one out.
> 
> **Yo, Seunghyun!**
> 
> **Are you there now?**
> 
> **I am fucking excited for you! Fuck you, man! I am freaking out right now!**
> 
> I tried my hardest to suppress the laugh that's worming out of my mouth. So I replied Taeyang's anxious message...
> 
> **We've just checked in, bro! I thought you said everything's going to be fine? :) If you're going to send crazy messages, you better stop now. It's adding up to my stress already!**
> 
> **A minute later...**
> 
> **You better do everything we've rehearsed or I'm gonna kill you when I see you! I'll ask Jiyong for details so don't miss out on anything we've planned!**
> 
> **I'll try to do everything, man! Just stop with the heebie-jeebies, okay? :) I'll send you a message once I've accomplished what I've planned on doing. :)**
> 
> **Goodluck, Seunghyun! I'm fucking counting on you! Be sure to melt the cute little bastard's heart! :p**
> 
>  
> 
> Our trip started with us eating lunch at the hotel. We ordered for the hotel's specialty which they claimed to be the country's national food. Although it doesn't look appetizing, it's taste was unexpectedly succulent. Jiyong and I always make it a point to try out the delicacies of every country that we're exploring. It wouldn't be a travel without having a taste of their own food, right? So we splurged our stomach and finished the rest of the course to have the energy to set out for today's trip.
> 
> Jiyong and I swore to be travelers rather than being tourists. While the latter has itineraries and a tight schedule to carry out, a traveler depicts the real meaning of adventure. This agreement has a strict policy of two to a maximum of four desired places to see while the rest of the trip depends on how far our feet can actually take us. We wanted to experience the country's rich culture together with its good-natured people. We always try our best to obtain all possible knowledge that we could get. We put an effort to learn some useful terms that would result to a more comfortable conversations with the locals. We learned that by doing all that, we can fully appreciate the country's beauty.
> 
> Before we became entrepreneurs, Jiyong and I enjoy overseas vacations. We imprinted the wanderlust idea into our being that everytime there's an airline seat sale; our fingers would automatically book us to anywhere we can go. We usually joke about being a nomad... The world being our address. The excursions only confirmed that the world is too big to stay in the same spot every day. So we traveled more to fulfill our NPA (No Permanent Address) status.
> 
> Little did Jiyong know that before the sun sets, he would again face one of his greatest fears. 
> 
> _**I had all of these planned. I have nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine.** _
> 
> I had informed the hotel of my plan so when the clock struck 3 PM, the hotel service car was already outside the café. Knowing how keen Jiyong is, I told him that it's time that I take him out on a real date. He shot me a curious stare as I moved towards him and held out my hand. His cheeks colored while he reached out his hand to me. We went outside the shop and motioned towards the van as the chauffeur drove off.
> 
>  
> 
> **After an hour**
> 
> _"OH MY GOD, SEUNGHYUN!"_ Jiyong delighted. _"How did... How did you know?"_ He jumped into my arms as he sobs lightly. _"Did you really... rented outone for me? Oh my God, baby!_ " This time he cried a little louder.
> 
> _"Anything for my baby, of course. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, right?"_ I said while I try to soothe his already convulsing frame. 
> 
> A few weeks ago, I've had a talk with Jiyong's best friend, Dara. She was as fired up as a basketball player when I broke the news. She kept grinning while continuously hitting my arm. Yup. She was that elated. She asked me how I planned to do this and told her that I haven't really thought about it just yet. The only thing I'm sure of is that I am ready to do this now... **To propose to Jiyong.**
> 
> As contradicting as it sounds, a hot air balloon date is what Jiyong fancies the most. Dara retold the incident where Jiyong accidentally told her about it. She was half laughing as she quoted Jiyong's justification: 
> 
> _**"There's a big difference between fear and hate. I hate flying... But not enough to fear it. Okay, fine... It still creep me out. But I promised myself to get on that damned balloon with someone who can calm the possible queasiness that will come up. I will hoist myself in it with someone that I trust, someone who I love deeply, and someone who I know would anchor me as it aimlessly goes up in the air."** _
> 
> The light bulb finally hit me so I expressed my most heartfelt gratitude to Dara for giving me this brilliant idea.
> 
> _"Stop crying, babe."_ I said in a reassuring manner. _"Let's get this thing floating, shall we? Let's achieve that dream date of yours."_ I smiled exquisitely.
> 
> As the balloon starts ascending, Jiyong tucked his body into mine. He was a little jittery when he managed to peek out at this heart-stopping scenery around us. He gave me his most captivating smile as he slowly untangled himself from my embrace just to get near the edge of the basket. He allowed the wind to mess up his hair as he let the tears run down his flushed cheeks. So I walked towards him, nuzzled unto his temple and said...
> 
> _"How are you feeling, babe? Are you still scared?"_ I whispered.
> 
> _"Why would I be when you're here beside me?"_ He glanced up to look at me intently. _"I'm gonna have to thank Dara for being a blabbermouth. I can't believe that she told you about this insane idea!_ " His amused laugh emerged from his mouth. 
> 
> _"Well, I think I already thanked her enough, babe. So there's no need to thank her some more or it'll go straight upinto her head."_ I laughed with him.
> 
> _"I guess you're right about that."_ He chuckled. _"I gotta say that this is really the best surprise that you've ever done for me..."_ He again fastened his arms unto my neck.
> 
> _"But... this is not actually the whole of it, baby."_ I said as I gave him a brief kiss on his lips.
> 
> At a slow pace, I pulled away from his embrace. I knelt down in front of him as his face grew in shock. I held out the matching pair of the bracelet that I got for us the other day. I looked into his eyes and nervously uttered...
> 
> _"Baby, it's been 6 years already since we got together."_ I focused my eyes onto him. _"There might have been a lot of ups and downs but we never gave up on each other... You never gave up on me."_ I exhaled with a smile. _"I couldn't thank you enough for everything that you did for me and for us, baby. I know I wasn't your ideal person... But you never asked for anything that I couldn't give you. You always remained positive despite all the pain that you've been thru. And you never backed down even if most of the time, I did."_ His tears are now unceasing. _"I'm not going to promise you that I will always be at my best. The only thing that I can guarantee you is that I will always do my best to make you happy in any way I can. So..."_ I breathed out as I stared at him in earnest and said, _"Can I spend my life with you?"_ I asked as my heart beats loudly on my ribcage.
> 
> This time, it was him who instigated the kissing. His lips latched onto mine as the salty tears kept pouring down from his eyes. The breathlessness stopped us from invading each other's lips. Jiyong took this time to wipe his tears with the back of his hand and gave me the smile that I've grown to love. I beamed at him as I waited for his answer. He cleared his throat and said...
> 
> _"I... I don't... I can't... God! Seunghyun! You always do this to me… Keeping me surprised all the time!"_ He hit my upper arm while grinning.
> 
> _"Say yes, baby... Just say yes... Please?"_ I said as I gripped his hands and placed them on my cheeks.
> 
> _"Baby, are you... Sure? I mean... Marriage? Uh... I don't..."_
> 
> _"I know you don't believe in marriage but can you atleast give me a chance to change your idea about it?"_  I affixed my eyes on him. _"I want the world to know how beautiful you are inside out... How lucky I am to have you... And how much I really love you."_ I stroked his cheeks gently. _"I think that a wedding would be a good way to proclaim all that, don't you think?_ " I smiled lovingly.
> 
> He stared into my eyes as he locked his lips into mine. And then he breathed out...
> 
> _"I love you, baby. I wouldn't mind spending my whole lifetime with you."_
> 
> ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jiyong was silent this time. He seemed to be tooabsorbed with my story. His head was dunked as his eyes were glued at a nonexistent thing on the floor. 

 _"Jiyong?"_ I asked hesitantly.

He glanced up to me. I can't seem to comprehend his reaction because he was giving me that blank stare as of the moment. I was scrutinizing his face when he said...

_"Call me GD. I think you're mistaking me for someone even if we have the same name."_

_"But how... Can you not be Jiyong? You are exactly like him... But without his memories. How can that happen?"_ I asked alarmingly. 

 _"I don't know... Hyung? How old are you? God! This is crazy! I can't believe this shit!"_ He spat as he walked back and forth the room.

 _"I am 28... And you?"_ I answered plainly.

 _"Fuck! I need a break... I have to fucking calm my nerves!"_ He motioned towards his bag to get his lighter and cigarette.

 _"Uh... Jiyong... I mean GD."_ I stared at him. _"Can I come with you? I am in dire need of those nicotines too."_

He stared at me for a minute and said... 

 _"Me... Asking for a break means I want to stay away from you... And your crazy stories."_ He replied in a somewhat annoyed tone. _"But whatever! Let's go. We better hide or this will become an issue again."_

 

_**At the rooftop** _

_"Thank you for sharing this to me."_ I gestured at stick on my fingers. _"I actually stopped a long time ago because Jiyong and I promised to take good care of ourselves better. But you and the situation tempted me... So hello again, nicotine."_ I joked.

GD didn't laugh. He didn't even looked at me. He was staring into space... Lost again in his own thoughts. I know that everything is a mess right now. Me, being here in this world hasn't sunken into my brain yet. All I know is that I am not from this era... Or generation? Or... I don't know what this is. But what can I do? I don't even know how I got here, in the first place. No matter how weird this is, I have to survive this place or else I wouldn't be able to come back to Jiyong.

I stopped myself from thinking too much because I know that it wouldn't help the situation... And it would bother the hell out of this person beside me. He was as confused as shit already. So I slowly glanced at him and said...

 _"GD-sshi? Are you... Okay?"_ I inquired with concern. 

He finally looked my way and said...

_"The wedding... How was the wedding?"_

 


	10. The balance between the heart and the mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This time, I’m not going to apologize for the long chapter but for talking too much. I’m so sorry. This chapter is more about views and opinions. I am not even sure if I expressed my idea well. So I’m apologizing as early as now. Also, I’m sorry about Seungri. Haha! Sorry, Seungri! ^_^
> 
> I’ve always believed that we get to know someone better with how they perceive life as it is. So, that may be the reason why there was that “talk” here. Haha! So yeah, sorry for that. ^_^
> 
> Thank you again for your time. ^_^ Enjoy!
> 
> P.S.: With regards to their ages, the “hyung” in this story are Taeyang and Seunghyun, while Jiyong and the rest are of the same age.

**T.O.P's POV**

 

 _“Seungri, have mercy on your eyes… Please stop crying.”_ Taeyang said as he calms down the brunette.

The night went on with nothing but the same topic… _The break up._ I have to admit that it actually fascinates me how this group conducts a pep talk.  All of them are not just consoling him but also gives him clever responses towards his situation. Seungri keptcrying until his eyes were swollen. He was either weeping or his mind was elsewhere. His eyes were fixed at some spot while tears run down on his cheeks. I’ve never seen someone crythat much or even breaks down like that… Especially when it comes to the matters of the heart. It was like all the equanimityin his being left without a warning… Leaving him with just his body but without a soul. I can’t even imagine how that feeling would be. And I don’t even think that I can handle that kind of sadness. While I do have my fair share of heartaches, I don’t remember being like Seungri. He may be in front of us… But he was actually…  _Gone._

So to give you a summary of Seungri’s love story, he and Daesung had been together for a while. _Is 8 years just a while? Okay. So not a while… But a long time already._ This world might’ve not  given a damn about same sex relationships but the fact that some of it lasts longer than expected is totally commendable. I couldn’t even ideate what they’ve gone thru just to keepthat kind of relationship going. I remember Jiyong telling me that he and Seunghyun had some fucked up experiences before. Now I wonder if they had been here already… _Broken up at some point in their relationship._  Still, the fact that they’ve even stepped upto marriage is a veryadmirable decision.

Daesung, according to them, was more of ourfriend than Seungri. It was himwho brought Seungri to the group. Seungri was from Busan.They met in college but studied different courses. Seungri’s a nurse. _A fucking nurse? What the fuck?_ While Daesung is a computer analyst. _I couldn't even imagine Daesung being one because as far as I'm concerned, he isn't fond of computers... And even social medias. He doesn't even have an Instagram account, for Christ's sake!_  But the dissimilarity in their majors didn’t stop them from eventually falling head over heels with each other. So yeah… That’s how they ended up being together. Seungri said that Daesung was the sweetest... Always knew how to take good care of him.He even mentioned that before Daesung, he had a girlfriend. While Seungri had never once imagined committing himself to this type of relationship, he admitted that he had no regrets in choosing this path. Daesung, for him, was the best thing that ever happened to his life.That thought made me curious…

_How about Jiyong? Has he always been… Gay? I mean… Did he even have a girlfriend before Seunghyun? Does he have an experience with a girl?_

_“The first few years were trying years,”_  Seungri said. The first 3 years for them was their adjustment period. They learned to adapt to their new setting which is them, having a relationship.He noted that once you’ve passed that phase, everything will be smooth sailing... For a while. Of course, there would alwaysbe problems along the way. But because there’s a foundation now, those obstacles would only make the commitment stronger, with which I saw Jiyong unhesitatinglyagreed.

As Seungri continued with his story, I found myself pondering over some things with Jiyong and Seunghyun’s relationship. I haven’t really asked Jiyong about it though. Seungri’s anecdote left me mystified that I found myself asking these questions:

  * _If Seunghyun and Jiyong have the longest running relationship in the group, how long exactly are they together?_
  * _What were the difficulties that the two strongholds had undergone that made their relationship stronger to the extent that it’s even influential to some of their friends?_
  * _What made them decide to settle down despite the troubles they’ve experienced? Who had the idea of marriage anyway?_



________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 _How could you fall in love with him_  
_How could you give your heart to him_  
_Thought we’d grow old_  
_As lovers_  
_Together til’ the end_  
_How could you fall_  
_Fall in love with him_  
  
_Now I know we’ve had our, up and downs_  
_And that I do admit_  
_But sometimes lovers go astray_  
_But you’ve made it permanent_  
_Oh I can’t be there understanding_  
_My heart’s just not that big_  
_And I can take the pain_  
_Of infidelity_  
_But I can’t take you with him_

 

 _"Fuck that song! Fuck you, babyface! How can you even be so precise at this moment?”_  Seungri sobbed.

 _"Stop crying, Seungri. I know it’s hard but please stop crying. I’m worried about your eyes.”_ Taeyang uttered.

 _“You have no idea how hard this is, hyung. Can you stop fretting over my eyes? I already feel like dying here and that’s your major concern?”_  Seungri retorted.

 _“Seungri, stop antagonizing Taeyang, will you? We are your fucking ally... Not your goddamned enemy.”_ Dara intervened.

 _“I’m sorry. I'm really sorry. I… I’m just so… Depressed right now. I can’t fucking think straight.”_  He said as he cried out even more.  _“Seunghyun hyung… Please… Please talk to Daesung. Please make him come back to me.”_  Again, he breaks down.

Seungri’s statement paralyzedmy psyche. A while ago, my whacked up brain was so activethat I even had the time to mull over Jiyong and Seunghyun’s relationship. But now that the spotlight was focused on me, I couldn’t help but to go rigid... Not because I got conscious but because I have no idea what to say.

 _“I’ll… I’ll try… to talk to him, Seungri. Maybe one of these days, he’ll call me up.”_  I said.

 _"Seunghyun's right. He would definitely come to us and you know that. Just give him time, Seungri.Let him clear up his mind.”_  Taeyang added.

 _“So stop crying your eyes out, for the love of God. You’re stinging my goddamned ears! Plus… You’re uglying yourself some more_.” Dara grinned.

 _“Be very grateful that you’re a woman, Dara for I wouldn't hesitate to curse you, if you arent't one.”_ He retaliates.

 _“Well, that's very advantageous on my part then… How about I make the most out of my being a woman? Especially now that you’re in your bitchy mood.”_ She riposte.

 _"That's it. Make the bitch stop, Jiyong. Make her fucking stop!_ _”_ He said while glaring at Jiyong.

Jiyong. I haven’t heard his voice for a while now. He was sitting there comfortably... Not even bothering to rescueme earlier when Seungri pleaded about Daesung. Special thanks to Taeyang for doing the saving.I stared at Jiyong who was looking at some small figurine at the center table. He has that blank expression on his face… The one that I’ve never seen him wearing. From what I’ve come to learn, Jiyong happens to love talking more than listening. _So what the fuck is his problem? Isn't he supposed to keep the group together? He is seriously sucking at that responsibility right now._

A sudden feeling of interventiontranspired into me. I felt like I neededto stop the bickering that Jiyong was ignoring. So I said…

_“Dara-sshi, Seungri, can you guys stop picking on each other? I hope you know that it’s not helping.”_

The two mentioned stared at me and bowed slightly indicatingtheir surrender. I can’t believe that I have the power to do that over them. What I meant though was Seunghyun has that power over them. In my world, the members doesn’t give a fuck about my seniority. Well, they do respect me but it’s a differentstory whenever there’s a fight going on between them. They use their mouth along with their fist to attack each other.  And I had to fucking use all of my reserved energy just to put an end at their silly issues. In this world, a simple  _“stop fighting”_  or  _“stop being at each other’s throat”_  is enough to control the situation.

But if that is the case, why did Seungri ask for Jiyong's support to stop Dara-sshi from harassinghim?  _Because she’s his best friend? Bullshit!_ From the looks of it, I don’t think Jiyong could contain Dara-sshi… I mean, Dara.  _I have to fucking get used to calling her without honorifics or else, I will blow my cover._ Back to Dara, she seems to be someone whom you cannot control…  _Someone impossible to sway._

_How on earth did they become best friends? Jiyong revealed that he loves control… Dara seemed to have the same attitude as well. So how the fuck can they stand each other?_

Jiyong yawned… A loud yawn, catching the attention of the group.

 _“Let’s call it a night, guys. I’ve been awake for 20 long hours already… So have mercy on me and let me sleep.”_ He said as he yawned again for the third time.  _“Taeyang-sshi, please let Seungri stay here for a while. I don’t trust him being by himself.”_ He mocked as he smiled gently at Seungri.

_Did he just… Smile? What an ass! I can’t believe that he has the nerve to even joke while his friend right here is in his current shitty state._

_“Fuck you, Jiyong. If I were to die, you’re the first person I’m gonna fucking hunt.”_ He angrily replied.

 _“Suuurrreee…. It’s not like I’m scared of you, anyway.”_ He laughed loudly.  _“Oh and try not to annoy Taeyang-sshi, okay? Because you are definitely not welcome to our house.”_ He chortled.

_So that’s why… He and Dara loves to bully Seungri. What kind of friendship is that?_

He picked up his bag and walked towards my direction and said…

 _“Come on, babe. Let’s go home.”_ He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

I was frozen… To a point that I didn’t even try to move away from his assault. Oh yeah, now I remember.  _This was part of the deal._  This was part of being married…  _Pet names, exaggerated caring, cuddling, kissing (Uhmm…), and intimacy (Wait a minute)._ As Jiyong had mentioned before, we were to only immerseourselves into the "married" role whenever necessary. All of the above gestures are only for show... For our audience to believethat we are truly a couple.  _Kissing is… Fine, I guess?_  But as for the others, it has to be done casually except for intimacy. I doubt that Jiyong would even want to do that.  _He wouldn’t even let me touch him._

_Fuck! What was I thinking? Touch him? How does it feel to… Touch Jiyong? And how… And how would he… Feel?_

  
_Back at the parking lot…_

 _“Can you drive, TOP-sshi?”_  He said as he clears his eyes from sleepiness.

 _“I don’t drive… Most especially a stick shift car.”_  I frankly replied.

Jiyong stared at me and opened the door to the driver’s seat. He went inside and started the engine.

 _“You don't drive?”_  Jiyong asked.  _“Or you don’t know how to drive a manual car?”_ He inquired impertinently.

 _“I know how to drive… May it be a stick shift or an automatic one. I just don’t like driving.”_  I explained.

 _“Really? Totally Seunghyun’s opposite._ He smiled.  _“He loves driving… He wouldn’t even let me switch places with him whenever we go out of town.”_  He finished.

And I felt the need to be silent. For all I care, it never once bothered me that I don’t drive… That I had to ask someone to pick me up or to drive for me when I needed to go somewhere. I was as spoiled as that. But now, I felt sorry for myself because I couldn’t even drive ourselves home knowing of Jiyong’s tired and sleepy condition. I felt helpless... Incapable of doing something for the only person who was there for me in this fucked up situation. 

What’s more is that I kind of felt annoyed that Jiyong kept differentiatingme from Seunghyun. It was like he kept slapping it into my face… That I would never be his Seunghyun. And it peeved the fuck out of me. It’s not that I wanted to be Seunghyun. It’s just that… Who fucking wants to be compared, anyway? Nobody in this world ever wants to be contrasted.

 _“Hellooo? Are you sleeping, baby?”_  Jiyong teased.  _“Are you okay?”_ He asked with concern.  _“Don’t worry too much about what you’ve witnessed a while ago… About Seungri, I mean.”_ He finished.

 _“Speaking of that, why didn’t you say anything, Jiyong? Seungri seemed to be so relieved to see you… Only to find himself being bullied by you… And Dara-sshi, I mean Dara.”_  I said with a hint of irritation in my voice. _“I thought you were the group’s fortress? You and Seunghyun? Aren’t you even ashamed of yourself that he looked up to you when you couldn’t even chill out his fucked up sanity?”_

Jiyong was taken aback by my reply. He decided to make wise use of the red light in front of us as he glanced up to me and said…

 _“Then what would’ve you done, TOP-sshi? Tell me what would you do?”_ The irk in his voice is noticeable.

My question was kindaaggressive… I mean, my tone was... Aggressive. But I cannot help it. I had to know why he had to torment he poor guy. Jiyong, from what I know, isn’t the person to tyrannize someone. Most especially if that someone is in pain... Just like Seungri now, who also happens to be his friend. _._ I began to think low of this person beside me.

_If Jiyong is as fucked up as that to even mock his friend even in his grieving time, how much more to other people with whom he doesn’t have connections? How the fuck does he treat them?_

_“I don’t fucking know, Jiyong. I don’t know this world’s Seungri. But even if I don’t know him that much, I wouldn’t harass the guy the way you did.”_

_"Harass? At what point did I fucking harass him?"_  His voice enraged.

 _“You made fun of him. You didn’t seem to take his condition seriously.”_ I retorted.

 _“I’m not a fucking doctor to feel the need to take  his condition seriously.”_ He said sarcastically.  _“He’s not sick… He's broken hearted! And there’s nothing in this whole damn world that can cure  that except time!”_  His voice a little higher.

 _He has a goddamned point._ But whatever. He was still rude and I need to tell him that.

_“My point still stands that you were fucking rude, Jiyong. Can’t you see that he needed you? He wouldn’t be that happy to even jump into your arms to look for comfort! You should’ve put your good words in action a while ago. He needed that. He fucking needed some encouragement! And he fucking needed to hear that from you! You should’ve tried to show some sympathy to his situation. But what the fuck did you do? You camouflaged yourself into Taeyang’s couch and kept your mouth shut! And not just that.. You went home without cheering your friend up. Is that the kind of friendship you practice? Because that's one fucked up commitment if you were to ask me!"_

I tried to breathe… Because honestly, I don’t understandwhat made me angry. Maybe it was because I hate bullying. I fucking hate oppressors! They’re sick bastards who happen to prey over weaklings just to feel good about themselves. And I fucking hate Jiyong right now for proving himself as one.

_“Who the fuck do you think you are to talk like you know me? You are not fucking Seunghyun…”_

_“Fucking stop comparing me to Seunghyun!”_  I interrupted.  _“I know he’s not me… And will never be me! So just stop it! If I fucking know where he is right now, I would’ve dragged his ass up here just so I can get to avoid your fucking comparisons.”_  A livid answer escaped my mouth.

Jiyong sighed audibly. I can feel the exhaustion in his exhale. He didn’t just look tired but... Hurt.I know I’ve said too much but maybe the truth really hurts. Since I’ve agreedto be his husband, I have to share some responsibilities in this fucked up relationship. If I see something wrong, I have to correct it...No matter what.

He parked his truck to its allotted space. But before I could even go out of the vehicle, he cleared his throat, regained his composure and said…

 _“That was how I usually act with Seungri. It may appear as bullying but I had to check if he was still as responsive as I knew him to be. The only cue that would make me start worrying about him is when he wouldn’t curse me or answer me back in a witty manner. So far, he didn’t seem to be intimidated with what I did. You heard him… He fucking did both."_ He said soberly. Then he continued,  _“It’s not that I’m not worried about him though… I just happen to trust him that much for him to do anything stupid. A little faith goes a long way, they say. That’s why every time a friend gets into this position, I always believe that they can surpass this... With or without anyone's help. If I don't put my faith in them, it was like saying that I don't trust them to do anything right or to even handle the situation maturely.. And I never wanted them to feel that way.”_  He said firmly.

_“I have two reasons why I do these, TOP-sshi. One is I want him to be himself... That it’s okay to cry… That it’s not embarrassing to wail or to sob because I know how much pain he was in. That even though his world turned upside down, some things stays the same. I am the same, Dara is the same, Taeyang-sshi is the same. I want him to know that it was only their relationship that changed… And not everything. He doesn’t have to deal with us anymore.”_

_“He’s in denial... His brain is totally messed up. That is the reason why I didn't speak a while ago… Because I don’t think he’s ready for anything yet. All that he can feel right now is his own irregular heartbeat, seeming to die on him any moment now, and his shattering confidence, that could kill his identity if triggered. Seungri doesn’t need company. He needed someone to just be there for him when the stress is too much. He's an intelligent guy. He already knew what he’s supposed to do… It’s just that, he’s having a hard time right now to accept_ _it. We need to give him time... Because that's the only treatment available for his broken heart."_

 _“In addition to that, Seungri doesn’t need someone to talk to. He needed someone who would listen to his self-pitying and nonsense. Because the more that you let him speak, the better he understands the extent of his condition. Sometimes… You just needed to hear things from your own mouth… For you to allow the thought to sink in.”_  He respires deeply.

 _"Two is that I wanted to show him how cruel the world is... You can say that I'm a fucking masochist... But atleast hear me out first before you judge me as that, okay?"_  He asked. I gave him an affirmative nod so he proceeds…

 _“In our group, no one pampers the wounded… Except for Taeyang-sshi and... Seunghyun."_ He paused as he peeked at me.  _“They were our front liners... The first to control the situation. Their approach is much gentler than mine, I admit. While they try their best to alleviate the pain that was caused, I teach the injured to bounce back to life. That’s why I only talk when I feel like they’re ready. Because it’s not in my personality to apologize for something that I believe is right."_

 _“That’s actually one of Seunghyun and I's difference. I happen to follow my heart more than my mind. I would rather get my heart broken a million times because I know that it’ll make me happy. Seunghyun, on the other hand, protects his wit more. It’s what makes him comfortable and… Happy. And I guess… That’s what makes us… Uhmm… Compatible. Because we compensate each other's weaknesses."_  He smiled.

 _“When life changes to be harder, you have to change yourself to be stronger... One thing the anime, Tokyo Ghoul has taught me.”_ He smiled awkwardly.  _“Life is already hard, TOP-sshi. Its tough side shouldn’t get you discouraged, but should’ve humbled you. You can only get to know your strengths if you learn to accept that some things are beyond our control. It’s just… How it is. Sometimes, you even have to go thru problems alone because that’s the only time that you’ll realize that there’s no one in this world who would love you unconditionally except for your own self. I just want Seungri to know that even if we are all here for him, helping him, cheering him up, talking to him, listening to him… The only person who could comfort him best is himself. And that he should take good care of himself some more because life is at war with him... So he needed to strengthen himself to win this battle.”_ He explained further. 

 _“I uh… I’m sorry for comparing you. I… I didn’t mean it.”_ He stuttered. _“I’ll try my best not to, I promise.”_ He bowed deeply.

That was the longest and the most astonishingspeech I’ve ever heard. I know I’ve mentioned that the Jiyongin this world was more profound. But I’ve never expected him to be this... Deep. He certainly has weirdideals but actually, it was more realistic… _Favorable,_  if I may add. In my world, we fall into a  _multiple personality condition_ wherein we have to develop another identity from what we truly are. It’s our way to protect ourselves from the dangersthat comes along with fame.If you’ve got an attitude, you’ll gain haters. So to avoid that, we always have to be at our bestselves.

In this world, everything seemed…  _Should I say, better? No pretentions, no bipolarism, no pressures… Just being our own fucking self._  It felt like all the soreness in me vanishedwhen I got here. For the longest time, _I felt… Normal._

And now I understand why they got married…  _Jiyong balanced Seunghyun’s reasoning while Seunghyun safeguards Jiyong’s heart._ These two, if combined together, creates the most powerful and perfect relationship. I suddenly felt envious of the me in this world. He wasn’t just blessed to have a convenient life, but with a fucking ideal partner.  _How lucky is that?_

Maybe I should just savour this moment? Being married to Jiyong wasn't really that bad. In fact, waking up… With himon my face was the greatest feeling that ever happenedto me in this world. I was annoyed… Yeah. But knowing that it was himwho was herewith me gave me enough security to face this world’s irrationality.

So to compliment my other half for that wonderful speech… _Yup. I'm gonna have to get used to that now._ I angled towards him and invaded his personal space.

**_Then I kissed him._ **


	11. Period and Comma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is not what you're expecting. I'm sorry. T_T

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

> **October 14, 2006**
> 
> **Ritz Carlton Seoul**
> 
> _"Fuck you, Minho! You promised that there would be no strippers!"_ I said furiously. 
> 
> _"It's a stag party, you idiot! Them, being here, is a must!"_ He justified.
> 
> _"I fucking told you not to..."_
> 
> _"Quit complaining, Seunghyun!"_ Daesung butts in. _"Where is your fucking sense of gratitude, huh? You should know that we paid a lot just to get their asses in here!"_ Daesung spat.
> 
> _"Let's see if you've really really changed."_ Minho grinned widely.
> 
> _"And if you are really really sure about settling down."_ Daesung followed up while smirking.
> 
> I looked at Youngbae for support but the bastard just smiled at me and said...
> 
> _"May this be your period, Seunghyun."_
> 
> I was about to ask him what he meant when a guy in an unbelievably tiny denim shorts with a black sleeveless mesh top appeared in front of us. With a hand on his hips and a grin on his lips, he said...
> 
> _"Excuse me, we would like to give this tremendously handsome groom-to-be a show. After all, it's what we're here for, right?"_
> 
> The striptease performers began their production. The men, I mean my asshole friends, were hooting and whistling as the strippers grinded their bodies unto mine. It was the most indecent lap dance I've ever experienced. The ecdysiasts showcased 3 more steamy dances... With a nonstop teasing into my manhood. 
> 
> My supportive friends were even aiding and abetting me to make a move on that one seductive dancer, who seemed to be aware that he was the chosen one by these idiots. The said teaser reached for my chest as he glides his hands down towards the hook of my pants. I immediately pulled his hands away from my trousers as I shook my head to indicate my displeasure of what he's doing. The crowd boo-ed at my reaction while I sent them a death glare to stop their stupid cries. The stripper bowed in apology as he moved away from me and continued with his dance performance.
> 
> _**This is definitely one of the most awkward situations I've ever been in my entire life. I am going to kill Minho and Daesung and even Taeyang later.** _
> 
> The lascivious presentation ended. Everybody in the room had either beers or wines in their hands as they chitchat with each another. I was actually happy to see all these people tonight. Our busy lives is the culprit to why we do not meet as often as before. Although Jiyong and I always makes it a point to see these weirdos whenever we think we have the time, there will always be work to halt us from doing so which most of the time saddens Jiyong. He always wants to stay connected. He always bridges us together. He always... Wait a minute. Speaking of Jiyong, a thought suddenly loomed its way out into my brain. 
> 
> _**How is he doing now?** _
> 
> Upon obtaining my mobile phone, I dialed Jiyong's number. The ringing continued for a minute until it reached his voice mail. I called again for a few more times but it always went up to his voice mail. I was busy tapping my fingers unto the phone screen when Taeyang patted my shoulder and gestured me towards the balcony. The moment we went out of the noisy room and the cold wind hit our physique, Taeyang handed me the can of beer that he was carrying and started the conversation.
> 
> _"Why are you calling Jiyong now?"_ He asked in a raised brow.
> 
> _"How did you know that it was Jiyong?"_ I answered in a question.
> 
> _"Your face seemed panicky."_ He chuckled. _"I'm sorry but I happen to be your best friend. And there is no one you would desperately want to talk to that much except for Jiyong."_ He said in a mild laugh. _"Are you worried that Jiyong is enjoying his party, Seunghyun?"_ He teased.
> 
> _"I... I am not! He… He won't..."_ I stammered.
> 
> _"Oh yes, you are."_ He smirked.
> 
> _"No, I'm not."_ I exhaled. _"I just want to call him. What's wrong with that?"_ I voiced out in an annoyed tone.
> 
> _"Well, you are not allowed to call him, Seunghyun. You're not forgetting that tonight is yours and his' party, are you? Let him have this night to himself. This is the only night where you are allowed to do anything... Legally. So why aren't you making the most out of this opportunity?"_ He asked curiously.
> 
> Taeyang was right. I should be having fun tonight. This is the last time I get to be single with the guys. But why do I feel this way? Why do I feel scared that Jiyong is... Having a blast tonight? Of course, I want him to have a good time. I am just hoping that he's not getting too much thrilled out of this one night pass. 
> 
> My mind was all Jiyong when Taeyang resolved to break my train of thoughts and said...
> 
> _"Seunghyun... I... I want you to know that I am really happy for you."_ He smiled without looking at me. _"I couldn't be happier that you are marrying someone that I know would not just take good care of you but also your heart and your goddamned ego."_ He finally looked at me. _"I know how important your reasoning is... And I've got to say that I am really impressed at how Jiyong cripples your straight up judgments."_ He smiled mockingly. _"I want to remind you that Marriage is not a decision you opted because you're scared of being alone. If that is your reason, then fuck you."_ He half glared at me. _"You always have us and a whole bunch of people to take care of that need of yours."_ He chortled. _"What I'm trying to say is that there's a big difference between being in love and being attached, Seunghyun. Love is selfless. It is altruistic... Meaning you put someone else's well being first over yours. While on the other hand, attachment is just wanting someone to be with you. It's more like taking care of them for your own benefit... Because if something happens to them, it will paralyze you. You have no one to talk to, no one to ask out, no one to be there for you when you're lonely... You see, love isn't depending everything on that person. And when I say everything, it means that even your happiness depends on that person."_ He looked at me with serious eyes. _"What I mean is, both of you are obliged to give out that happiness to one another. Jiyong's responsibility is to make you happy and vice versa. It doesn't mean that you're depending on him though; it only means that you both think of each other's happiness and you make it a goal to make each other happy. Am I... making a point right now?"_ He rubbed the back of his head. 
> 
> I gave him a genuine smile and said...
> 
> _"Go on. I'm listening."_
> 
> He beamed at me and continued with his disquisition. 
> 
> _"Seunghyun, I am wishing you all the best in this decision that you've made."_ He smiled proudly. _"There will be always challenges along the way but I hope that it won't back you down. I wish you can see yourself right now... Looking extremely happy, staying firm with everything, and even rejecting that sexy guy a while ago, which was never your thing. What you have with Jiyong really changed you. Well, not in a bad way though."_ He laughed. _"You are definitely the Seunghyun you've always wanted to be... The person you've envisioned yourself to be. Who would expect that the cute little bastard was all it takes for you to be this person? That cheerful, fun-sized guy who does nothing but laugh his ass out every time we bumped into him along the school's corridor? You fucking have to thank that laugh of his because you wouldn't have met this wonderful rascal if not for it."_ He grinned. _"Anyway, I'm really happy for you, man! The world may not always be in your favor but expect that I will always be right behind you to hold you up."_ He opened his arms to give me a hug.
> 
> I accepted the hug. I couldn't help but become teary over his speech. We never really had the chance to talk about this decision for I had always been busy juggling my time between the business and the wedding preparation. Even though I have my family to do this kind of talk, I am always thankful that Taeyang's perfect timing always make this "best friend talk" a very significant one. He, aside from Jiyong, is one of the few people who knew me that well. So I always trust his judgments on things... Especially if it deals about me and my weird mindset. He is the best mirror, the one who knew me inside out, the person who drags me back to reality when I refuse to be talked out on anything. I might've been the most self-centered human being in his life but he never cared about it. What mattered to him the most is that I'm his best friend.
> 
> _**Thank you, Taeyang for this meaningful talk. I think I know what to write on my wedding vows now.** _
> 
> _______________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> Since we cannot really conduct this ceremony in a church, I suggested for a garden wedding. Jiyong smiled widely at my recommendation as he nods in approval. We had been planning out everything for the whole year... Starting from the wedding date down to the give aways. It drained out all of our energies as we kept meeting up with those wedding suppliers. Most of the time, it was Jiyong who does the legwork. His perfectionist attitude made him took charge of everything on his own. He wanted to make this as flawless as he could and it tired him out up to a point that he most of the time fell asleep during his work shifts. I told him to get a wedding planner because the exhaustion worried me a lot. But he always declined and told me that he can do it. I couldn't argue with him because he seemed to be so dedicated on this. So I offered to take some of the responsibilities and told him to relax even for a day.
> 
> He gave me the flowers as an assignment. He told me to choose the set of arrangement that would match our blue motif together with his own bouquet. I was about to contest to his idea when he explained to me that he wanted to know which flowers I would be choosing for him. He added that he doesn't care what I would pick as long as I think that it's what suited him the most. 
> 
> What I don't understand is why Jiyong chose blue as our motif... Knowing of his love for colors. But yeah... I'll settle for his decision on this. Besides, he wouldn't want a girly color like pink anyway.
> 
> Roses. Of course, that must be his bouquet. It has that love feeling embedded unto it most especially the red ones. I do love red roses for Jiyong but that's not actually what's on my mind right now. So I called up Taeyang and asked...
> 
> _"Hey, man! Sorry to disturb you. But do you know any flower suppliers?"_
> 
> _"Uh... Let's see... What flowers do you have in mind, Seunghyun?"_ He replied.
> 
> _" **Blue roses.** I need to get those blue roses for Jiyong's bouquet."_ I spat.
> 
> _"Don't you think it's a little redundant to get him the same color as your motif?"_ He asked. _"I mean, how can Jiyong shine out if he walked down the aisle with an identical shade of your theme on his hands?"_ He interrogated.
> 
> _"He doesn't need to shine out, Taeyang. He naturally has it in him."_ I smiled at my statement.
> 
> _"Stop it with the cheesiness, dude."_ He laughed. _"What's with blue roses? Can't you just stick with the basics and be classy? Where's the simplicity in you, Seunghyun? I am not talking to Jiyong right now, am I?"_ He chuckles.
> 
> _"And why can't you just give me an answer? Why do you keep asking about a lot of things, Taeyang? For the record, I am still the classy bastard that you've become friends with. It's just that... Blue roses symbolizes for someone unattainable... A person who is hardly within one's grasp, someone who seems too difficult to be achieved. I don't need to retell our story because you were there all along, remember? Blue roses are rare... Just like what Jiyong is. He is truly one of a kind. So stop answering me back with a question, okay? And help me out here... Please?"_ I somehow begged.
> 
> I thought Taeyang already ended the call because he was silent for the next 5 minutes. But then he spoke in a calm manner and said...
> 
> _"God! You're so smitten by that kid! I can't believe I'm actually hearing this."_ I can sense his amusement. _"Alright. I'm going to help you look for that rare flower. I am going to be so disappointed in you if you don't tell Jiyong about this! He has to know why... And I am fucking excited to see him blushing furiously over this clever interpretation of yours!"_ He laughed.
> 
> _______________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> **October 25, 2006**
> 
> **Pastor:** _"Dearly beloved, I now welcome you in the unity of these two people who took the liberty of taking their love on a next level. Like what I usually say to most of the couples in front of me, Marriage is not something that you can just withdraw yourself just because things are getting hard to handle. Marriage means being one... And with that being said, no matter what happens... Both parties must compromise in order for them to attain their common goal of living harmoniously with each other, in sickness and in health, in penniless and in wealth, until death do they part. I believe that these two gentlemen right here shares the same concept as mine or else this magnificent event wouldn't be happening right now._ (Smiles at the both of us) _"Now please read your wedding vows."_ (Gestures his hand to me)
> 
> **Seunghyun:** (Stares into his beautiful eyes) _"Kwon Jiyong, I have always known that you are my destiny. One of the things that I am always thankful for is that despite all those heartaches I've put you in, you've never given up on me. Where would I be if you're not right by my side? I couldn't imagine myself sharing everything I've experienced with someone else. You have always been the exception to my rules... The person who I allowed to literally mess up all the rationality in me. I would go crazy for you... Do stupid things with you... I would even dye my hair platinum blonde if you want to."_ (Crowd laughs)
> 
> **Taeyang:** _"You actually did that already!"_ (Shouts)
> 
> Again the crowd laughs.
> 
> **Seunghyun:** _"Oh, right. I already did."_ (Chuckles) _"Anyway, I promised my best man to explain my choice of your bouquet."_ (Beams at him) _"Baby, I hope you know that you are indeed one of a kind. No one in this world can beat you in that category... Except for this flower."_ (Laughs mildly) _"Its color makes a visual impact that no other flower can match. Its beauty is difficult for any other flower to even approach... Just like you, babe. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. A very stunning person... Bright, lovely, and really beautiful. I am really lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being my human endorphin booster... My happy hormone. From this day on, I am promoting myself to a higher status in life... Married. This ceremony is my PERIOD, the end of my singleness and you are my COMMA, the person who I am blessed to continue this life's journey with. I will love you until every black hair in my head turns white... Without the use of a hair dye."_
> 
> I laughed mildly. I didn't know that I was crying until Jiyong thumbed up the tears that escaped my eyes. His black liner was all smudged up because of crying. I had to control myself to kiss him right now because of the overwhelming emotions that I was feeling. I wore him his ring and gave him a heartfelt smile.
> 
> It was now his turn to do his vows. He held my face as he beamed at me lovingly.
> 
> **Jiyong:** _"Baby, stop crying. I cannot do this if you don't stop."_
> 
> He smiled teasingly and cleared his throat. He said...
> 
> _"I actually avoided being cheesy with my vows because I don't want to cry. Look what you did... You messed up my eye liner!"_ (Laughs) _"But I must really be an idiot to forget that it would be your vows to do that and not mine."_ (Smiles and stares into my eyes) _"Choi Seunghyun, since you happen to be a pharmacist yourself, how about we challenge that stuck up brain of yours, shall we?"_ (Grins)
> 
> **Seunghyun:** _"Baby, I hope you know that we don't have the whole day. Please don't make me wait that long, will you?"_ (Teases)
> 
> **Jiyong:** _"But... But this is part of my vow, babe. It will only take uh... 10 minutes. Would that be okay, Pastor?"_ (Turns to him)
> 
> The Pastor smiled at him and nods.
> 
> _"Baby, do you remember that drug that I am always fascinated with?"_ He asked with a gummy smile.
> 
> _"Sinemet. Levodopa and Carbidopa's potentiating activity."_ I said proudly.
> 
> _"Very good."_ He smiled broadly as he stared seriously in my eyes. _"Choi Seunghyun, I want you to know that I will always be your Carbidopa. I will always protect you even if I disintegrate while I do that."_ (Chuckles) _"I will always help you reach your target site no matter how far it may be... And that includes me... Not being allowed to be with you as you successfully do your magic."_ (Smiles) _"Your happiness will always be my priority as well as taking good care of your heart and pride. I promise not to give you up on silly things... I promise to look only at you even if I get blind. I will always focus on your good points and reason out with your bad ones. I will never get tired of pushing you to the best of your abilities because I know that you have a lot to offer. The world doesn't need to know that I love you... I am already contented that you know how much I do. So... Let's make the most out of our lives and go crazy with each other. I will love you until my heart stops beating for good."_
> 
> The crowd was now crying. Dara was crying so hard as Seung yoon hugged her tightly. Seungri's eyes were welling up with tears as Daesung did his best to calm him down. Our parents were also in tears together with our siblings. This is the most emotional situation we've both been in and it actually made us both feel extremely overwhelmed. 
> 
> **Pastor:** _"By the power vested in me, I now acknowledge you as life partners. You may kiss your groom."_ (He smiles)
> 
> ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> **Reception**
> 
> A few people that we know of were tasked to give out their speech. While our parents' talk was more on being together and loving each other every single day of our lives, our friends turned the serious aura into comedy.
> 
> **Dara:** _"I am not used to being in the center of everybody's attention so I'm gonna cut with the crap and extend my heartwarming congratulations to these two love birds." (Laughs)_ _"Seunghyun, you better take good care of Jiyong or I'm gonna whack that cute butt cheeks together with that charming face of yours, understand?"_ (Sends a threatening glare) _"Jiyong, I... You know I'll always be here for you... Whatever happens, always count me in, okay? I love you, Ji. Don't ever hesitate to come to me about anything."_ (Smiles)
> 
> **Taeyang:** _"I don't know what to say actually. These two guys have the best chemistry I've ever seen. They couldn't keep their hands off of themselves whenever they're together. They keep being lovey-dovey every chance they could get even with the presence of other people."_ (Smiles) _"If I were to ask which love story I would've wanted to have, it would be theirs. I just love how they complement each other. They are really hell crazy with each other."_ (Chuckles) _"Seunghyun, I will always be here for you, man! You too, Ji. Not because Seunghyun is my best friend means that I would always side with him. Seunghyun, give Jiyong a proper description of me or else I'll never drink with you!" (Threatens) "I love you both and may you have that happy-ever-after type of relationship."_
> 
> ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> Our first night after being married was all about future planning. We spent the night reminiscing and talking about our dreams. That is the thing with Jiyong... He's never afraid to tell everything to me no matter how weird it may be. I really appreciate his honesty that I could only do nothing but agree to his ideals. 
> 
> _**Whatever life's in stored for me, there is nothing that could make me stop from living because I know that there's this one person who would always be there to see me through... Up to the finish line.** _
> 
>  


	12. "Please let me..."

 

**T.O.P's POV**

 

 _“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”_ He looked at me threateningly. “ _I do need a little kiss right now but not from you!”_  Jiyong opened the driver’s door and ran towards the elevator.

_Fucking shit! It hurts, goddamn it!_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept tossing and turning in my bed as I think about what hadhappened. I don’t know what’s gotteninto me. I don’t fucking know how the hell did I come up with that... Response. I was too overwhelmedby Jiyong’s words that I had a hardtime containingthe emotions that I felt.  _Okay fine. I lied._ It’s not true that I had a hard time controllingmy goddamned feelings.  _I totally gave in to the urge._  I don’t know… I don’t understand it at all. All I can think of at that time was… I wanted to…  _Kiss him._

But as soon as our lips touched, Jiyong instantly pulled back.His eyes were dilated as his right palm maneuvers unto my left cheek. _Yes... He fucking slapped me!_  He hit me so hard that I think my neck muscle will be sore for days. I wanted to clasp his arm to barricade him but everything blurred outon me after the strike. It wasn’t my intention to challenge his strength though. Like I said, it was the urge that took charge of the moment.  

I went up to our pad to look for Jiyong but he was nowhere in sight. I supposed he went to bed already. I would’ve wanted to knock on his room to check on him but I decided against it because I am still not sure how to face the younger one. It’s not that I am ashamed of what I did. It’s more like my mind can’t seem to providea valid reason for my action. Knowing Jiyong, he wouldn’t be easy to convince and he would definitely drain out all the common sense in me. So I marched towards my room and give the issue some time.

When I woke up the following day, Jiyong had already left.I checked for his schedule that was posted on the fridge and found out that today was actually his off.  _Where is he?_ There isn’t an off that he’d preferto go out. He always spends it at home... With me.

I walked my way back to my room and looked for my phone… I mean, Seunghyun’s phone. I pressed the speed dial 1 as it automatically connects to Jiyong’s mobile. It kept ringing until it reached his voice message tone. I suddenly ended the call.  _Why?_   _Because I still don’t know what I’m going to say to him._  I don’t even know why I was anxious to call him. I just feel like I neededto talk to him… To confabulate with him regarding what happened last night even though I still have no idea how am I going to explain to him.

I tried ringing his phone once more… Again, he didn't answer. An abrupt feeling of apprehension came all over me. I know I did something stupid… But I was hoping that he’ll atleast give me a chance to elucidate this matter.

_And then what? How the fuck will I explain to him that it was out of… Impulse? How will I make him understand that I wasn’t sorry about it but I’m still sorry? Wow! How fucked up was that, huh? If I can’t even explain it to myself, then how am I going to make a proper justification to Jiyong?_

I was so preoccupied with that thought when I chanced to  _peek_ at the dining table.  _Shit! How did I even get here?_  There was a plate with eggs, bacons and bread in it. And there was also a noteat its side that says…

## Eat up. You’ll need it. We’ll talk when I get back.

_Holy shittt! I am not going to be kicked out, Am I? Oh God! I better put my brain into good use now because I’m afraid that Jiyong would kill every living cells in my body once the talk starts._

 

_Ding Dong_

The doorbell almost made me jumpout of my skin.

_It’s not Jiyong, right? Jiyong knew the lock code so it’s not him. Who could it be? Should I call Jiyong? Or send him a message? Fuck it! He is seriously scaring the shit out of me._

I paced towards the door and opened it.  _And what the hell… It was non other than Dami noona._  Of course she’s here. How can she not be here? This world wouldn’t be completewithout her existence.

 _"Hey, Seunghyun!"_ She greeted.

 _“Uh... Hello, Noona.”_  I replied as I stared at her.

 _“Uhmm… Aren’t you going to ask me to come in?”_  She asked.

 _“Oh! I’m sorry, noona. Please... Please come in._ _”_  I said as I bowed slightly.

Upon entry, Dami went into the kitchen to check for the 2 furballs. She hugged the two bears and walked towards the dining room. I was studying her activityuntil I saw her pull off  the sticky note at the side of the plate and read it.

_Oh great!_

_“Hmm… So what did you do, Seunghyun?"_ She said with a raised eyebrow.

 _“Uh… Noth..ing, noona. I… I…”_  I faltered.

Dami sniggered until it became clearly audible.

 _“Sorry. Didn’t mean to be nosy.”_  She said with a half-suppressed laugh.  _“How are you doing, Seunghyun? You know the pharmacy misses you.”_  She chuckles as she sided next to me.

 _“Uh… Yeah. I’m so… Sorry about that. I’ll go there… Probably, tomorrow? I’ll… Tell Jiyong about it later.”_ I replied.

She looked at me with interest and said…

 _“Since when do you consult Jiyong about things like that? When it comes to business, you personally take matters in your hand.”_  She uttered. “ _What I mean is, Jiyong only steps up when you are away for a business trip.”_

_Shit! How do I answer that? What the fuck do I know about these things? Jiyong didn’t brief me on such informations._

_“I… Uh…”_

_"Oh hey, Ji!"_ Dami said as she waved at the kitchen door.

I felt my body stiffen upon the call. I couldn’t even dare to look at the person in the kitchen’s entry. Dami walked towards him and came back with a brown paper bag. She placed the bag in front of me and looked at my disturbed condition.

 _“Now where’s the gentleman in you, Seunghyun? And what’s with that ook?”_ She eyed me up curiously.

_So I am that obvious, huh?_

_“What are you doing here, noona? And who's at the pharmacy now?”_ Jiyong shrugged off his sister’s question.

 _“Stop stressing yourself, baby brother. Jungkook's_ _there so don’t worry.”_ She smiled widely.  _“I just dropped by to visit the 2 bears… And your lazy husband, of course.“_ She mocked as she grinned at me.

 _"I… I’m sorry.”_  I muttered.

 _“I see. What time did you get here?”_ He disregarded my reply as he places the farm products into the fridge.

 _“I just got here like… 15 minutes ago, I think?”_  She replied as she looked at me for confirmation.

I gestured a yes.

 _“Oh… Anyway, have you eaten, noona? Do you want to have lunch with us?”_ He asked.

 _“Can I? Can I?”_ She smiled sheepishly.  _“I sure miss your cooking, baby brother.”_ She said and then pouts at him.

That poutwas Jiyong and Dami’s statement... Their very own irresistible glamour. Nobody can defy that charisma…  _Not even me._  Whenever I see that damn pout on Jiyong’s face, I can’t help but to get magnetized at it.

Jiyong nods and smiled at her sister. He said…

_“Very well. You should help me get the recipes ready.”_

_"Sure!"_ She said as she stood at his side. _"Oh by the way, Mom's asking for you. Did she call you, Ji?"_ She questioned.

 _“Nope… I’ll call her later.”_ He responded.  _“Can you pass me those tomatoes, noona?”_ He pointed at those red ones in front of me.

Dami goggledat me as I kept my state in silence. There was an obviouscuriosity plastered on her face. And then she said…

 _“Yah! Choi Seunghyun! What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you pass those fruits at him? Why aren’t you helping Jiyong?”_  She said with a blaring voice. _"Why are you two ignoring each other?"_ She casts an eye at the two of us.  _“Alright. Forget about lunch. I’ll leave you two alone. You guys should talk.”_ She said as she rearwards her way towards the kitchen door.  _“See you tomorrow, Ji!”_  She waved at us and exits the kitchen.

 _“Noona, wait."_ Jiyong matched his sister’s speed.

I did not pay attention to what the two of them were talking outside. My mind’s been wrapped up to what Dami noona had commented.

_Of course. Seunghyun has always been a gentleman… I better keep that in mind or else I will blow my cover._

Another thing is that Jiyong’s presence distracts my line of thought.  _I’m at a loss… Disoriented._ I haven’t had the time to reflect on our _little_  situation here… A _nd he is already in front me!_

_I am doomed. What the fuck do I tell him?_

The door closed. I can hear Jiyong’s footsteps as he neared the kitchen. He strode his way unto the sink as he prepares the ingredients for what he’s about to cook. His unfazed back was my view. The anxiety crept into my whole being… Literally driving me crazy. I can’t believe I’m feeling this way. I can’t believe that he has this effect on me.

 _“So…”_ He started.  _“You haven’t eaten?”_ He said as he finally looked at me.

 _“Uh… Ye…ah… Ddaammi… Noona came befffoore I… Can eat.”_ I stammered.

He stared at me. He has that passive face on him that I can only help but direct my attention onto the table that separates us. Jiyong reached for a mug on a shelf and poured some coffee in it. He placed the mug in front of me along with the breakfast plate and said…

_“Here... Help yourself.”_

He turned to continue with his groceries as he placed the items on each of the shelves on top of him. I held the mug and consumed the hot liquid. It fucking burned my throat. I do have a suppressed appetite but I still touched the food in front of me because if I don’t, it might anger Jiyong some more. Even if I can’t taste the food, I ate everything on the plate.

And because my brain function seemed off today, I didn’t realize that Jiyong was already sitting in front of me. He was scrutinizing my face as he decided to break the silence between us.

 _“Is there anything you want to say, TOP-sshi?”_  He said in a relaxed tone.

I stared at him wide eyed.

_What will I say? What does he want me to say? How the fuck do we talk about this?_

While some girls would heartily reply to what I did to him last night, Jiyong made me feel how much of an ASSI was for doing it casually. I have no idea what he was thinking right now because he has that blankexpression again on his face.

_Think. Think. Think. What do I say to him? How will I handle this situation?_

_“I’m sorry.”_ I unconsciously answered.

 _“For what?”_ His face stayed blank.

 _“Ffoorr kkiiisssing you.”_  I stuttered.

 _“Oh… Kay?”_  He urged me to continue.

 _“And… It was... A mis...take. I'm sorry. I’m really sorry.”_  I blurted out.

He stared at me fixedly as he murmured…

_“I hate you.”_

_“What?”_ I voiced with shock.

I know what I heard and I understand if that’s how he felt.  _But what was he expecting to hear?_  I thought that if I said sorry and admittedthat it was a mistake, he would let me off.  _Oh God! I think this is going nowhere._

He threw me off guard when he spoke again for the next minute.

 _“You said you and GD-sshi grew up together? You haven’t seen him in love with someone before, TOP-sshi? I’m sure a lot of girls love him if I base my assumption from your description of him.”_  He paused.  _“I would even fall in love with him, you know? That is, if your not lying about his personality.”_ He said with a soft smile.

_A love struck GD? Have I seen that one before? Oh right… I think I did. But what’s the connection of that with our issue? And what? He’ll fall in love with his other self? That’s fucking… Weird. I don’t think he’ll like GD when he meets him. His loud personality wouldn’t match his careful personality. And even if I were strange, most girls would fancy me over him. Okay. That was really confident of me but yeah… I’d really like to believe that._

_“I think I did. But excuse me... I think I am the perfect guy to date between the members because I am the most romantic. GD would’ve even fallen in love with me."_ I joked.

 _“So fucking full of yourself, huh?”_  He grinned.  _“I’d still prefer GD over you.”_  He said with conviction.

_“I fucking hate you.”_

This time, he made surethat I heard what he said. I gaped at him, trying to figure out how to answer his angry retort while he, on the other hand, was looking at my dirty plate. He picked it up and washed it as he made his way towards the kitchen’s exit. This time, my instinct coursedthrough my body so I blockedhis path and told him…

_“Okay. I’m sorry. I'm really sorry, Ji."_

_"Stop apologizing. You're making this worse as it already is."_ He said as he walked past me.

Accidentally, I held onto his hand… Which immediately stopped him from walking.

_What the fuck was that? Is Jiyong that mad at me to send that electrifying static energy?_

While I flinchedat the fucking current, Jiyong seemed shocked and confusedtowards it. A blush erupted from his cheeks as he instantly detached  his hand with mine. I watched him stare unto the floor as he calms himself. He turned to me and said…

 _“Why do you keep… Making me feel... Uneasy? Would you please stop touching me?_ _I might forget that…”_  He paused.

There was a suddenchange in his reaction. From his confusion, came a smirkthat immediately sent shivers down to my spine. Jiyong slowly crossed the space that parts us. He looked at me with flirty eyes as he raisedhis arms towards the back of my neck. I felt heat surfacing into my being which immobilized me right on the spot.

 _“You know… My husband likes it when I do this.”_  He stroked my neck as I involuntarily quiverat his act.  _“I kinda miss doing this… And you’re…”_  He gazed at me expectantly. _"You're here. _”_  _He smiled seductively.  _“You, who fucking looks just like him, is here with me… And I never took advantage of that? How the fuck did I manage to keep myself from... Touching you? If I fucking miss him this bad...”_ He puckered.

_Fuck. I’m done. That fucking pout is definitely the death of me._

I wanted to return the favor to him. The touch that’s burning my skin while at the same time, short-circuiting my brain. _I wanted_ _ _to touch him for once... To embrace him while I comfort him… To protect him from anything that would hurt him…To tell him that_ everything is going to be fine even if it’s not… To admitto him that I like_ _what he’s doing… To cuddle with him while I stare into his beautiful eyes… To wake up with him as long as this world permits... And to tell him that I am not sorry for kissing him… Because this time I realized that it wasn’t just by impulse but because I really wanted to do it._

I finally decided to  _allow_ myself to feel this way towards him…  _To let him know that I am prepared for anything that comes along with this feeling._  I was about to respond to his action when he unfastened his arms from my neck and moved away from me.

 _“Tell me something, TOP-sshi... How does it feel to be touched by someone that you don't like? Someone you’ve never seen yourself to be with? Someone who fucks up your mentality? And someone who confuses the hell out of you because you don't want... And at the same time wants  them to touch you?”_  He looked at me with tears in the corner of his eyes.

 _“Someone who looked like the person you’ve always loved, someone you’re dying to touch, someone who keeps you wide awake at night because of worry and longing, someone you know you can't live without… He's here and not here at the same time... H_ _ow can that possibly happen? How can the world mock me like this? What have I done to deserve all this shit?”_  He finally let the tears run down on his cheeks.

 _“Ji…”_ I reached out to him.

 _"Don't. Please don't."_ He sobbed as he stepped away from me.

 _“Please stop doing this, TOP-sshi. It’s already hard for me, okay? It's so fucking hard. Why the fuck am I even crying?”_  He said as he wipes away the tears on his cheeks.

_“I fucking miss him. I miss him so bad... I wish he’d come back to me. I wish that this was all just a nightmare and that I would finally wake up with him by my side. I will apologize for what happened that night… I will tell him that I am going to do everything for this to work. And that it was just a phase... That it will be okay, as long as we're together. And that I still love him just the same… Just like the very first time we got together.”_

_So they had a misunderstanding… Before I came here._

_“Please promise me that you’ll keep your hands to yourself because I am as vulnerable as that already… I don’t want to mess with your… Preference or belief or whatever the fuck you call it. You were fucking straight. You said that, didn’t you? You made that clear... The first time you… Got here.”_ He wiped his tears with the back of his hand.  _“If you don’t… Stop that, I don’t know… I can't promise... Please understand. It’s… It's just so hard. God! I don't even understand what I'm saying anymore!"_ He said despairingly.

_I can’t take this anymore!_

I pulled him to an embrace. He struggled his worn out body out of my arms but I held him tightly. I don’t care anymore if I am hurting him or not. I just wanted to hug him…  _Once and for all._

 _“Stop it, Ji. Please just stop. Let me… Do this. Please let me.”_ I said as his dead tired body finally stopped fighting back. 

He cried out loudly. His body convulsed as he weptto his heart’s content. Jiyong finally cried... Something I've been waiting to see. It’s not that I wanted to witness a painedversion of him but because I knew that it was something that he needed. From the first time I met him, he never once allowed himself to grieveover his lost husband. I thought he was as resilient as that... Just as strong as that.I never once asked him about how he really felt about it because I feel like it was a sensitiveissue to tackle. And also, I have a feeling that I won't be able to handle it when I see him break down... Like this.I never dared to breakhis facade because I’ve always loved his smile.  _And I wanted to see that smile again on his face._

 _“Ji, I… Actually, I…”_  I paused. I tried to inhale some air to calm my senses for me to finish my sentence.  _“I am not sorry for kissing you,”_  I said.

He looked up at me in disbelief. His eyes were puffy from too much crying. I thumbed up that one tear that fell on his cheeks and said…

_“I am sorry for surprising you with what I did, but I am not sorry for it. I thought I… It was just an impulse... But the truth is… I… I mean it. The kiss, I mean."_

_I sound so stupidly redundant right now. But fuck it! I really want him to know that._

_“TOP-sshi… Please stay with Taeyang-sshi for the mean time. I… I have things… To deal with. And you’re not helping. I’m going to call…”_

_Did he just… Say what I think he said? I am getting evicted? NOOOOO! That can’t be! I have to stay here! I have to be here with him… Most especially now._

But because I couldn't handle the rejection as of the moment, the obnoxious _TOP,_  emerged in his offensive moe and handled the situation in his own shitty way. He said…

_“Why are you kicking me out, Ji? Was it because I said sorry? Or was it because I said it was… Or wasn’t a mistake? I am so fucking confused right now. Tell me what the fuck do your really want me to say? What else do you want me to say?”_

**_Shit! That wasn’t what I was meaning to say! Fuck you, TOP! You ruined this for me, you fucking bastard!_ **

_“Good to hear that you’re still the asshole that you had always been.”_ He said as he scowled at me.  _“And yes, you are getting out of this house.”_

He unlocked his phone, dialed Taeyang’s number and walked briskly towards his room.

 


	13. Curiosity killed the Cat

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

The story of how Jiyong and I came to be silenced GD for the rest of our elevator trip towards the parking lot of this building. I can say that GD's curiosity is the same as Jiyong's... It always nailed these two identical cats. He was lured by my storyline that he actually couldn't help but to pry some more. As GD continued with his interrogation, my answer always seemed to space him out. He has that inscrutable look on his face that I cannot fathom... Like I don't know what the hell is going on in his mind. 

But I must say that the reminiscing made me realize how hard Jiyong and I fought against the hardships just for us to be together. Well, I haven't really gotten to that difficult times yet but still, I can't help but be proud of our relationship... The struggles that we've gone thru, the pain that only raised the strength in both of us, even the cheesiness that made our friends cringe, and the happiness that has always been there ever since the beginning. It did not just serves as an eye opener on my end but it also made me miss Jiyong more. 

By the time that I've finished telling him about my proposal, his eyes seemed to be avoiding me for some reason. I might've seen that empty stare at Jiyong's face but I cannot say if they have the same idealism on things. I haven't really gotten to know the Jiyong of this world. And I'd like to explore every part of him... S _hit! That doesn't sound right. Let me rephrase..._ I want to get to know GD-sshi. There. Sounds better. It really made me curious up to what extent their similarities are as well as the difference between the two.

The marriage part actually toned him down. Still, I can't decipher his blank reaction upon hearing the whole of that story. I was looking at him the entire time and I can't help but notice that at some point in my storytelling, that same beautiful smile, like my Jiyong's, appeared on his lips especially when I get to that wedding vows scenario.

Wait. Have I mentioned that I was now fully aware that I am the famous Korean rapper, _TOP,_ in this world? Yup. I was that guy who, as GD quoted, _"The owner of that impregnating stare." Like wow! Did I really have that power?_ Of course not. It was TOP and definitely not me. 

GD gave me a rough summary of facts about their lives... _The Bigbang world._ As I've come to know, they were composed of five talented guys brought in collaboration to make wonderful pieces together. When he revealed who the other two members were _(because obviously, Taeyang is part of this group),_ I couldn't help but to laugh at his announcement. _Who in the world would believe that my lovey dovey friends, Seungri and Daesung, were also part of this gifted boy group?_

In my world, Seungri has that powerful vocal chords that always aced whatever the karaoke machine plays. Daesung, on the other hand, is just a fan of Seungri's serenading. He doesn't really sing nor dance. He would rather play with his wii with a can of beer on his hand while checking out his social media accounts. 

There was a time when he and Seungri fought about his preoccupation on his accounts. Seungri threw his phone so hard that there was no other option but to replace the whole unit. Seungri ran for comfort into our home because Daesung said a lot of hurtful things to him which only intensified his jealousy over that damned obsession of his. After an hour, Daesung suddenly appeared in front of our pad with a long-stemed white rose on his left hand. He excused himself as he made his way towards the sobbing brunette. As they resolved their issues, Daesung finalized that he would just play basketball with me and the rest of the boys every weekends to stop his addiction. In fairness to him, he did his best to keep his promise to Seungri. 

However, TOP's world doesn't involve Seungri and Daesung in that manner. They were plain buddies who are both straight. GD said that it was these two who cannot keep their eyes off of women. He even joked that anything _(even if it's a nonliving item)_ that wears a skirt, would attract the eyes of these two. _Now this would be a perfect laughing matter if I get the chance to unfold this bizarre dimensional fact to our friends._

GD distracted my thoughts as he continued with his story. He said that they had just celebrated their 9th year of being as a group last August, right after his birthday. _So they have the same birthdays too._ GD and TOP are the lead rappers of Bigbang. As a matter of fact, it was GD who recommended TOP to Yang Hyunsuk, the company's President. It was then that he told me of how TOP struggled to get rid of that excess poundage which was the primary requirement for him to get into the agency. He said that he was so proud of him that he actually managed to lose weight in just a short span of time. _Yes. He was as dedicated as that._

While we do share the same face, built, voice, and even the name, I think I have an idea why he opted to use an alias. If my feeling is right, it might be because TOP has the same love like mine towards the people he cares about. This was his means of protecting someone that he loves from the destructive effects of fame. GD actually confirmed my theory when he unintentionally stressed out that being under the spotlight isn't all the time as pleasurable as what others thought it was. And I am not stupid not to get what he meant by that. I don't need to be in his shoes to understand how exhausting and detrimental their lifestyles seem to be.

GD said that TOP shares the same sentiments as him. He even added that it was one of the reasons why they connect with each other better than any of the members. Unfortunately, some people misunderstands their closeness. It often leads to a series of speculations about their brotherhood. GTOP shippers suddenly came on the scene. He said that it was really... Weird, at first... _Considering how straight as hell they both were._

He mentioned that due to TOP's ability to be always game at anything, he happened to be cool with that idea as well. They both realized that the new fandom didn't really grossed them out. In fact, it only brought out that natural flirting instinct in them which didn't just popularized the GTOP fandom, but also made them more inseparable. They kept up with their fans' teasing. They used the idea to keep them enticed while at the same time develops that giddy feeling towards the flirting.

In the course of our conversation, GD inadvertently admitted that he had a _"little"_ crush on TOP. But he clarified that it was just out of admiration for his hyung. Yes. I am again the older one in this world. According to him, TOP is not just a pretty face with a mind blowing talent but also a considerate and kind hyung towards him and the rest of the members. He further stated that even though TOP was never the most eloquent one among the members, he never failed to reach out to them and to lighten up everyone's mood due to his corny jokes. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I asked GD to come with me to my house, I mean TOP's villa. I happen to have trust issues so I really don't give out that trait easily. But since he's the only one who knew of my current situation, I gave him my full trust. He was hesitant at first to accept my invitation. He stared at me for a full minute then finally nods in approval. 

As soon as the elevator opened, a slender man in a black suit greeted us. GD's face instinctively lit up as he said...

_"I'll be driving TOP-sshi to his villa. Please take your rest now."_

The man bowed and took his leave. GD started pacing towards his black convertible BMW M4 and unlocked the killer ride. He entered the driver's seat as I stood there inertly. Of course, this was new to me. I was always the driver whenever I am with Jiyong. But how can I make myself remember that this person in front of me, who completely has my Jiyong's face, wasn't actually him?

GD called out to me as the passenger's window rolled down. 

"Aren't you getting in?" He asked with a raised brow.

I shook my head lightly to repossess myself from being at a loss. I opened the passenger door and hopped into his auto. 

Even with their indistinguishable faces, I am now convinced that this person is not Jiyong. My Jiyong hated flashy cars. He also happened to have a pick up truck... The one that I bought for him during our 1st wedding anniversary. I remember the look on his face as I handed him the key... He showered me with kisses as he continuously thanked me for it. He loved the truck so much that he was always careful to drive it down our neighborhood. 

However, GD seemed to drive like a drag racer. Like he was a highway daredevil, unwilling to abide to any street rules. He drove really fast, testing the vehicle's claimed speed. He is so not my baby. His driving skills aren't even close to Jiyong's. 

_**Why is he driving this fast anyway?** _

_"Anything wrong?"_ He stared at me while maneuvering the steering wheel.

 _"GD-sshi, please look straight. You are not driving safely."_ I said as a warning.

 _"Does your GD, I mean Jiyong drive slower? How boring! Where's the fun in that?"_ He grinned while looking at me.

 _"Can you please focus your eyes on the road? Let's try not to kill ourselves, shall we? Or we will be in tomorrow's headline. Do you want that kind of publicity?"_ I asked as I checked my fastened seatbelt.

_"Seriously? You care about those shits? As far as I'm concerned, you do not need to think about those things because you are not from this world. And..."_

_"I may not be from your world but I want to come back to mine, GD-sshi. Jiyong is waiting for me. And I want to return to him in one piece_." I interrupted _. "There's no need for us to hurry, right? So can you please slow down?"_ I looked at him.

_Silence._

He now kept his eyes on the road as the car glides steadily into the thoroughfare. The quietness was tinnitus inducing... _Causing a gradual ear-splitting ringing in my ears._ I was silently praying that we were somewhat near the villa because of this awkward soundlessness. I thought of ways on how to stop this deafening situation until I remembered about the inquiry that my brain formulated a while ago.

 _"Uhmm.. GD-sshi.."_ I started. _"You've mentioned that both of you are straight, right? Does it somehow make you uncomfortable whenever you guys do... The teasing? I mean... Do you, even for a minute... Liked the flirting... That you've had with TOP?"_ I asked carefully.

I sensed that GD stiffened upon my query. It seemed like he wasn't prepared for this kind of scrutiny. He kept his mouth shut as he focused his attention on the road until we reached my villa. 

I was surprised to know that GD knew the lock code to TOP's villa. _Of course he does! Silly me._ Well, I was actually thankful that he was here because I don't know how to unlock this enormous door in front of me. 

As the main door opened, he entered the villa at once... _Like he was the landowner of this estate._ He immediately trailed across the kitchen and grabbed himself a bottle of beer. He gulped nearly half of the bottle as he peeked at my location.

 _"You want some?"_ He asked as if I was the visitor of this place.

 _"Uh... Can I?"_ I replied. 

He laughed loudly.

 _"Well technically, everything here is yours so you don't really have to ask."_ He grinned. 

He opened the fridge and handed me a bottle of that same alcohol he was chugging. I accepted the carafe of beer as he walked past me. I followed him towards the receiving room and sat opposite him. I was busy having a moment with my beer when GD said...

 _"Funny how I've never been uncomfortable with the teasing. I guess, it was somewhat innate to both of us... I... Kinda... Like it, I think?"_ He snuck a look at me. 

 _"You think?"_ I tried to sustain the calmness in my voice.

 _"Uh... I'm not sure. It was... Nice. It felt... Good?"_ He hid his flushed face. 

 _"How good?"_ I sneered.

GD stared at me humorlessly.

 _"I am not telling you, asshole. Stop poking around."_ He said as the redness filled up his face.

 _"Okay."_ I grinned. _"I think I know the answer to that now. Your reactions already revealed it for you."_ I smiled at him.

 _"Fuck you. You are the worse, you know that?"_ He rolled his eyes. _"Anyway, was Jiyong your first... Uh... Boyfriend?"_ He inquired as he drank his beer.

 _"No. I think he was the 2nd to the last to complete my lovers calendar."_ I laughed mildly.

 _"Lovers calendar? What the hell is that?"_ He made the effort to hide his interest.

I laughed at his inquisition which earned me a frightening glare from GD. I gave him a repentant smile as I moved on with my explanation.

 _"It was a high school thing wherein a specific person corresponds to a particular calendar date which indicate certain monthsaries."_ I grinned. _"Sorry. It was a cheater's term during high school."_ I gave him a soft smile. 

 _"You're a fucking cheater?"_ His eyes turned wide.

 _"I was. But not anymore."_ I clarified. _"Jiyong ended it."_ I beamed at him.

 _Silence,_ I think, was becoming a mainstay today. It kept emerging between the two of us. 

 _"Why... I mean... How did he... Change you?"_ He pried.

I stared at his uneasiness as I began to rationalize how I am going to reply to that. Again, it made me miss Jiyong. An overwhelming feeling of yearning arose in me as it created a disturbance into my being. How is Jiyong doing now? How is everything on his end? I am really hoping that he is okay. 

 _"Helloooo? Are you still there?"_ GD asked.

 _"I'm sorry."_ I smiled in apology. _"Well... His personality knocked everyone out. I like the way he understands me when I couldn't myself. Patience is always his virtue... I never felt stressed or even pressured when I am with him. Although I hate how trusting he is, I have to say that it is one of his best traits. His optimistic way of thinking is what really made him stand out among the rest... Like he never saw anything negative even up to the point when I cheated on him with Dongwook. Yup... Jiyong is as diplomatic as that."_

_"Wait. Lee Dongwook-sshi?"_

He has that exaggerated outraged tone as he uttered the mentioned name. 

 _"Uh... Yeah."_ I answered while looking at him perplexedly. _"Oh... Do you... Know him? I mean, is he... Here too?"_ I asked cautiously.

He seemed to be in a state of shock as of the moment. His eyes were rapidly blinking as he shook his head lightly and said...

 _"Yes. He's... Famous too... An actor and a model combined into one."_ He replied while looking at his hands. _"But... Why? Why did you... Do that to Jiyong? You're not shitting me with your previous stories, are you? Your stories emphasized how crazy you are about him. So why cheat on him?"_

 _"I am crazy about you... I mean, him... Sorry. You're just too identical with each other."_ I gave him a cagey smile. _"Well, I couldn't justify that action, GD-sshi. I wish I could say that I was wrong about falling in love with someone else but..."_ I composed my thinking. _"I don't know what happened. All of a sudden, I missed the feeling of being in love. I got bored to death... Because we never fought, he's always at his safe mode... Like he doesn't want to get mad at me because it will only lead to a quarrel. I never really understood why he doesn't want to contradict my decisions. And I hated the feeling of being entrusted with decision makings. It felt like I was having a relationship with myself and that he was just a lazy ass prick who doesn't want to do anything but to depend everything on me. It was too exhausting... And too boring."_ I exhaled. _"I swear I tried my very best to shrug off that feeling... But I just couldn't. Until Jiyong noticed that and we finally talked about it."_ I took this moment to glance at him. 

 _"What did he say?"_ He stared at me blankly.

_"It was true when they said that there was never an easy way to break somebody's heart... When I told Jiyong about this, he was as composed as I've never expected him to be. He was just there... Listening to those hurtful things that was coming out of my mouth. And as I finished my sentiments, he smiled at me and said... I understand you, baby.  If you think that it's for the best, then I will let you have the time that you need."_

I suddenly felt the emotions that were present during that moment. I now realized how brave Jiyong was to let me go during that vulnerable time. Despite the fact that there was somebody else I was sharing some infatuations with, he just let me be. My thoughts were digging deeper when GD dragged me back to reality.

 _"Wow. You're such an idiot, then... For hurting someone like him."_ He defended. _"If I were to stain my straight preference to someone, it would be with him."_ He drank the remaining beer.

My eyebrows raised at his statement.

 _"It's weird enough already if you and Jiyong would be seen together... How much more if you and him would be in a relationship with each other?"_ I laughed loudly.  _"So... Are you now considering this kind of set up? I can smell curiosity in you..."_ I teased while at the same time grinning at him.

He stared at me in a serious face and said... 

_"Why? Are you Jiyong?"_

_"Well... I will be your TOP hyung, right? Then how about you get to be my Jiyong?"_

 


	14. Best friend duties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: TOO MUCH CURSING. I SWEAR. ^_^

 

**T.O.P's POV**

 

 _“And yes, you are getting out of this house.”_  Jiyong said.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Taeyang arrived to pick me up that night, I was still at Jiyong’s door. I did everything…  _From banging his door to even begging him just to open his goddamned door._  But he never did. If I were in my usual self, I would’ve just  _ignored_ his drama and gave him the time that he needed. This time, it's different.I felt the need to be next to him… To comfort him, and to stay with him. I knew I replied in a stubborn-assed way. But it wasn't what I really wanted to say. The rejection made me stupid, allowing the sickening TOP to anger Jiyong’s wit.

So Jiyong called Taeyang to share me a roof for the next few days. I don’t know until when.  _This can’t be happening._  I don’t want to leavethis place. And no matter how much I disagree on Jiyong’s terms, he never answered back at my pleas. I know it’s not just out of irritation. I’m positive that it’s moreof anger. He's definitely angry with me.

_But what can I do? How does he want me to take his cries and heavy heart? I cannot just stand there and do nothing! It’s suffocating my entire being. It’s like I feel what he’s feeling. He cannot just simply ask me to stay put as he cries… What would that make me?_

As much as I wanted to stay, Taeyang told me to let Jiyong be. He said that Jiyong wanted to be alone. And that I had to respect that. No matter how much I glued my ass outside Jiyong’s door, Taeyang succeeded in draggingme towards the door all the way down to the parking lot. He guided me into his car as we drove out of the building.

 _“Dude, what happened? Why did Jiyong ask me to let you stay in my pad for I-don’t-know-how-long?”_ He asked.

I did not answer him. I don’t know how to... Explain what happened. As far as I know, he isn’t aware that I am not his best friend. I cannot tell him the reason why Jiyong threw me out of his place because he wouldn't believe me. He would definitely think that I am losing my mind. So I just kept silent until we get to his place.

As soon as we got up to his floor, two men were outside of his unit.

 _“Well, good to finally see you, Dae!”_ Taeyang marched towards him and gave him a brotherly hug. _“Hey, Minho! How have you been?”_  He said as he hugged him too.

 _“Been really good, YB! How about you?”_  He gave him a fist bump.  _“Oh! Hello, Seunghyun!"_ Minho said giddily.

 _“Yeah. How are you, YB?”_  Daesung asked as he gave me a courteous nod.

 _“I’m good… About to become a nanny.”_  He smiled as he looked at my direction.

Daesung and Minho eyed me up curiously as we all went inside Taeyang’s place.

 _“I didn’t know that we have a get together tonight.”_  Minho grinned.

 _“Well, we don't but since we’re complete… I guess it is now.”_  Taeyang grinned.

 _“So why are you about to become a nanny, YB?”_  Daesung looked at me inquiringly.

 _“Uh…”_  Taeyang glanced at me.

 _“What happened, Seunghyun? What did you do?”_  Minho asked.

 _“How about we all sit down first… Shall we?”_  Taeyang gestured towards the living room. _“Anyone wants beer?”_  He grinned.

 _"Wine. Can I have some wine?”_  I asked casually.

They all gaped at me as an uproarious laughter came out from the three of them.

 _“You never drink wine, Seunghyun… But okay. Check that wine rack over there and see if there’s anything you like.”_  Taeyang pointed at the rack beside the mini bar.

_So Seunghyun doesn’t like wines as much as I do, huh? He drinks beer? He never graduated from beer?_

_“Yo, dude! C'mon… Hurry up and choose your wine.”_  Minho sneered.  _“We are dying to hear your story.”_  He laughed lightly.

Right. About that… I haven’t really thought about what alibi I’m gonna tell these boys. Okay, so we fought. What do most couples fight about these days? I don’t fucking know any reason because I try to avoiddramas. I don’t like it and I don’t involve myself into it.

_Oh God, help me!_

I decided to get a beer instead of my normal drink. I have to blend in anyway so I opened Taeyang’s fridge and took a can of beer. I went back into the living room and sat in the single couch opposite Taeyang’s. The other men watched me closely as I gulped almost half of the can’s content.

 _“Hey, go easy on the beer, will you? This is gonna be a long night. So take it easy.”_  Taeyang laughed. _"Okay, so what happened?_ _”_  He asked seriously.

_What should I say? Should I make some fucked up reason? Or just tell them the truth? Fuck this shit!_

_“I… I... Kissed Jiyong.”_  I disclosed.

Their eyes turned wide… Like I just said something  _outrageous._  They looked at each other as they laughed boisterously at my reply.

 _“Fuck you, dude! Dont bullshit us! Did you really think that it is a fucking valid excuse? Do you seriously think that we are as stupid as that to believe your shitty lies?”_  Minho half suppressed a laugh.

 _“Man, stop shitting us. Kissing is part of the relationship. It is not even a fucking issue, Seunghyun! Jiyong isn't the type to get mad at silly things like that. I bet he likes kissing as much as we all do.”_  Daesung grinned.

 _“What the fuck happened? Really? Man up, you freak! Admit your goddamned mistake and spill it out. Stop excusing your lazy ass, Seunghyun.”_ Taeyang said.

_These fucks! They were dying to know the reason and when I revealed the exact real issue, they fucking laughed and mocked me? Fuck these bastards!_

_“Fuck you guys! I don't joke on things like this! That is the fucking reason why we fought, you dumbasses!”_

With bewilderment, they all stared at me for a minute until Taeyang said…

 _“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you even hearing yourself right now, huh? Are you guys not that serious with each other anymore that a simple kiss can make Jiyong that upset?_ ” Taeyang retorted.

 _“You did not just become a sloppy kisser, did you? Because that is a more solid reason to validate Jiyong’s anger to me.”_  Daesung said with a mild laugh.

 _“Or… He... Refused Jiyong.”_  Minho grinned.  _“That sounds more convincing to me.”_  Minho roared with laughter this time.

I instantly blushed at Minho’s statement which caused them to laugh some more.

 _“So, you did refuse Jiyong, huh Seunghyun?”_  Minho pried.

 _“Fuck you. That’s fucking lame,  you do know that, don’t you?”_ I spat.

 _“You’re lamer than that, you prick! Stop being an asshole and tell us the real reason, Seunghyun! If you don’t, I’m gonna kick you out of my house!”_ Taeyang said with irritation in his tone.

_That’s it. These fuckers want details, huh? So I’m gonna go blow their goddamned twisted brains with the fucking real reason._

_“You…”_  I started.

 _“Did you get in touch with Dongwook, Seunghyun?”_  Daesung interrupted.

_What? Dongwook? As in Lee Dongwook? He’s fucking here? And what’s wrong with me getting in touch with Dongwook hyung?_

_“Fuck you, Seunghyun! You said you already stopped contacting him? You already know how Jiyong feels about that. You’re lucky he didn’t break up with you!”_  Taeyang said angrily.

 _“I didn’t fucking do that! And why would Jiyong get mad at something like that, huh? What the fuck is wrong with that?”_  I raised my voice.

 _“He’s your fucking EX, you shithead! He’s the goddamned reason why you fucking broke up with Jiyong 2 years ago!”_ Taeyang said, now angry.

_What the fucking fuck? Dongwook hyung? My fucking EX? Fuck this world! Fuck this life!_

_“Dude, seriously… You didn’t just do that, did you? If my opinion matters, I like Jiyong better. And if you don’t want him anymore, I’d be glad to marry him.”_ Minho teased.

_Fuck this asshole!_

_"You motherfuckers! How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I didn't do any of that you're accusing me? I didn't even know that Dongwook-hyung's here!"_ I glared at the 3 of them. _"And you, Minho!"_  I pointed at him. _"You have the fucking nerve to say that in my face? Fuck you! You can't have Jiyong! He's fucking mine, you sick bastard!"_  I yelled out furiously.

 _Wow! Did I just say that out loud? That Jiyong is mine? Since when has he been mine?_  For all I know, Jiyong is Seunghyun’s property and not mine. But since I happen to be Seunghyun in this goddamned world, I’m gonna act  like him and protect what is rightfully mine... And his.

_Rightfully mine, huh? How can I even make Jiyong mine? He doesn’t want me. He just rejected me. And I am fucking stupid to push myself to him even if I knew that he’s fucking married. I want him. I want to be with him. I know that he'll never see me as who I really am because for him,  I am just his husband’s fucking doppelganger.  But I don't care anymore... All I know is that, I am willing to take any chance that might get him to love me._

_“Seunghyun, you should know Jiyong better. I hope you understand that he isn’t as shallow as that. He always has his reasons. And I don’t think that kissing isn’t a big deal to him for you guys to fight over.”_  Taeyang said.

 _“He’s right, Seunghyun. Jiyong loved you that much to make this an issue.”_ Minho added.

 _“And… You already graduated from being… Like me.”_ Daesung ended.

All of us turned to Daesung.  _How can we forget about his and Seungri’s problem?_

 _“Dae, what happened?”_  I asked.

Daesung laughed at me.

 _“I am sure as hell that you already knew what happened, Seunghyun. And I am more than sure that it will be you, who understands me the most.”_  Daesung said.

 _“And what made you so sure about that, Daesung?”_  I automatically replied.

 _“Seriously? You are asking me that?”_  His eyes opened widely.  _“You had been here before, Seunghyun. Don't you remember?  You cheated on Jiyong… With Dongwook. ”_ He uttered.

_Fuck. So how can I reply to that? I didn’t fucking do that. Seunghyun did! And why did he do that? I thought he fucking love Jiyong so much? Why the fuck did he… Leave him for Dongwook hyung? I know he’s good-looking but… Jiyong is… Jiyong is more fun to be with… His presence is synonymous to a good life._

_“I wish you guys knew how sorry I am for hurting Seungri. I… Don’t know… How it happened. It just… Did. I love Seungri… But… I… Can’t help but fall in love with…Someone else.”_  Daesung said as he shoved some beer down on his throat.

 _“Seungri had been nothing but a very good… Partner. He knew exactly how to take good care of me and my… Needs.”_ He looked at the 3 of us.  _“But… Just like Seunghyun had said before, we cannot eat the same food every single day even if it’s our favorite.”_ He glanced at me. _“The more you consume it, the lesser you’d like it. And you’d… Get so used to it that when you happen to try other dishes, you would realize that your usual favorite… Isn’t the only best-tasting in this world.”_  He explained. _“And that’s… Fucking sad. Because you've always_ _loved it… It is your favorite food. I am sure that you don’t want it be less appealing to your taste buds, right?”_  He frowned as he shook his head slightly. _“Look, I’m not saying that I don't love Seungri anymore, okay? I still love him and I will always love him. I just… Wanted to find out for myself that… He’s the one I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.”_

 _“So you wanted to test  your relationship, Dae?”_  I inquired.

Daesung looked at me with shock and said…

 _“Seriously… What the hell is wrong with you? Why do I feel like you’ve had some amnesia and that you don’t fucking remember anything?”_ He asked. _“To refresh your sick mind, you were the one who said that, Seunghyun. I got that from you. You said that being with Dongwook actually made you realize that Jiyong is the one you’d want for the rest of your life. That challenging your relationship was one of the best things that you ever did… Because you ended up marrying your ideal person, your best friend."_

I was stunned at what Daesung had just said because Seunghyun is definitely right about that.  _Jiyong is ideal… Someone you would really want to end up with._   The last few weeks that I spent with him made me realize that I was actually enjoying being his husband. He does know how to cater my needs. He knew how to keep my thinking straight while the world plays with my sanity. He knew how to protect my ego and my… Preference. He takes mental notes on everything I say and do… Like he has this photographic memory that literally remembers everything that I do.

_Now tell me… How in the world… Could I not fall in love with him?_

_“Dae… I perfectly understand that. But can you atleast think things over? I mean, you and Seungri had been together for 8 fucking years. You’re not that stupid to just let go of what you’ve both been thru, right? Seungri loves you so much, Dae. We all know that. And as your friends, we only wanted what’s best for you… And we think that Seungri is the one best-suited for you. But I am not with him, and I don't feel what you’re feeling so I totally respect that. ”_ Taeyang uttered. _“Atleast promise me that you’ll think things over, okay?”_  He finished.

 _“I know. I know, guys. I understand. I do, I swear... I am still… Thinking about this, okay? I broke up with him because… I don’t want to lie to him anymore. And I don’t want to hurt him… But sadly, I still did.”_  He bitterly smiled. _“Let me think about it some more, okay? I promise, I’ll think about this. Let’s just... Not talk about this anymore.”_  He said as he grabbed another can of beer.

 _“Seunghyun, you better fix your shit with Jiyong. I don’t want to hear anymore heartbreaking news.”_  Taeyang pointed out.  _“You fuckers enjoy doing this to me, huh? My house is not a fucking heartbreak hotel! Stop getting me involved with your love life issues, you bastards!”_  Taeyang said irately.

 _“Then don't accommodate the broken hearted, YB.”_  Minho replied nonchalantly.

 _“It did not just came from you…”_  He glared at Minho. _“You better share this unit’s rent for all your lovers that I hosted! You and your goddamned playboy habit is fucking getting out of hand already! Pay up, you fucking cheater!"_ Taeyang replied angrily.

All of us laughed at Taeyang’s clever response. I could  _not_  believe that he is this funny. Well, in my world, Taeyang is more of a laughter than a joker. But in here, Taeyang is effortless... Effortless in making us laugh with his surprisingly witty comments. 

 _“Seunghyun, Jiyong is already the best of the best out there. You know that. You’ve already proved that a million times. Don’t let him go thru this alone. Stop wasting your time making up some fucked up excuse. You’re really a mess, did you know that?”_  He semi-glared at me. _“Don’t be so full of yourself just because you guys are married already. Jiyong’s not the type to stay when he feels taken for granted. I fucking tell you, he wouldn't hesitate to get a divorce if you keep messing things up. And I am fucking sure that a lot of people will be more than happy to take your goddamned place.”_  Taeyang finished.

_Why does this guy always knew the way to my nerves?_

_“Why don’t you shut the fuck up and help me work things out with Jiyong, huh? You’re supposed to be my goddamned best friend, you dipshit! Stop acting like my mother and be my fucking friend.”_  I voiced out with piqued tone.  _“Oh and by the way, even if Jiyong filed for a divorce, I’m never going to fucking sign it! He is mine. So tell all those fucks who are waiting for us to divorce that I have no intention of letting him go and to… Fuck the hell off."_ I said with conviction.

Taeyang stared at me in awe and said…

 _“Now that’s the spirit, dude! And fuck you. I’m your best friend and not your mom, asshole!”_  He lightly punched my shoulder.  _“I think I have an idea on how you would reconcile with Jiyong…”_  He grinned at me.

 _“How?”_  I instantly replied.

 _“Give him this.”_  He said while handing me down a neatly folded paper.  _“I didn't read it, don’t worry. The last time you were here, you were writing that. You said it’s for Jiyong and yet you forgot it here.”_  He rolled his eyes. _“So maybe now’s the perfect time to give it to him.”_  He smiled.

I opened the letter and to my surprise…. It was a 4-sheet letter for Jiyong. The handwriting isn’t flawless but legible enough to be understood. 

_And so I read the letter…_

 


	15. And so the complication starts

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

> **A month ago**
> 
> _"Don't fucking tempt me... I am already on the verge of throwing out every known rationality in me!"_ GD said in an annoyed tone.
> 
> _"So be it... I'll be honored to be your first."_ I smiled flirtatiously. _"How do you want me, by the way? As a boyfriend? Or as a husband? I can be both... If you want?"_ I voiced seductively.
> 
> Alright. I know how fucked up this is. And I am really surprised that GD would be up for that kind of invitation. The truth is, I was just trying to mess up with him because I am actually skeptic about how straight as hell he claimed himself to be. His interest was actually a give away... Not to mention the blushing that I often saw on his cheeks, reaching up to his ears. My gaydar is kinda odd lately. It kept fluctuating between a yes and a no especially when I try to assess GD's preference. 
> 
> During our small talk, his thirst for knowledge became more visible. Although I know that curiosity over this kind of relationship can be misleading, I somewhat confirmed it when he gave his answer towards my proposal.
> 
> _"Alright... Baby."_ With emphasis on the pet name. _"Don't you dare take it back, okay? Because I hate chicken shits. I'm assuming that you aren't one... Eventhough you are a fucking self-confessed teaser."_ He pouted. _"But I gotta tell you... I am fucking possessive."_ He warned. 
> 
> And that, my friend, was how it all started.   
> ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I have a meeting today... A meeting that I have no knowledge about. But because I have to follow TOP's schedule, I read about his upcoming events and realized that he was a lot busier than me. There were so many affairs on his list that I couldn't even understand what the hell was that for.

So here I am... Attending the said meeting while waiting for the others to discuss today's agenda.

_"Hello, TOP-sshi!"_

_**What the fucking hell? I knew that voice. It can't be him. Fuck!** _

_"Hey, man! Are you okay?"_ He asked with concern.

My eyes were trying to focus on the owner of that familiar voice. I had to blink a hundred times in order for my mind to set at its right pace.

 _"Hey... Dongwook.... Sshi."_ I muttered.

He laughed... That same merriment like my EX. 

How can life be a fucking tease right now? Taeyang would kill me if he knew of this unexpected turn of events.

 _"How are you, TOP-sshi?"_ He asked.

 _"I... I'm good."_ I stuttered.

 _"Good. Let's now proceed with today's meeting, shall we?"_ He smiled charmingly. _"But where is..."_

The door suddenly opened as Dongwook and I's attention pivoted on that gorgeous human being who hurriedly stepped inside the room.

 _"I'm sorry for being late."_ He announced in a hasty breath.

It was Jiyong... I mean, _GD._

The guy stared at me stony-faced as he motions to the seat beside me. As soon as he reached his place, he said...

 _"I've been calling you, bab... Hyung. You didn't pick up."_ He slightly glared at me.

 _"I'm sorry, babe. I thought I was late... So I didn't really check my phone."_ I reasoned out.

Dongwook instantaneously laughed at our little conversation. _So he was eavesdropping._ He looked at us in awe and said...

 _"So it is... True."_ He grinned. _"Now this... Is going to be fun..."_ This time, he smirked.

I saw GD's hand fisted underneath the table as my hand automatically reached out to him to calm him down. And as always, he instantly swatted my hand away from his. 

This has been our situation for the past few weeks. Our agreement has been private, which obviously existed only between the two of us. The set up has intrigued the rest of our group mates because of the attachment that we displayed towards each another. Actually, it was more like me... showering him with too much affection and attention.

There was this one incident where I was trying to cool down GD because he was under so much pressure due to an issue about the group. He held his tears until we were finally dismissed from the interview. The discussion grilled all of our brain cells just for us, most especially GD, to come up with a valid statement towards that pressing matter. As soon as we got into the van, my instinct coursed through my body... Pulling him closer to me just to let him know that I am there with him. His eyes welled up as I held on him tightly. 

When I happen to glance at the other members, they were staring at us in incredulity. And that's where GD regained his consciousness... He immediately pushed me away from him as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

I stared at him in astonishment. He was always like that whenever I fondled with him. Five minutes was the longest that I've ever touched him. And when he realizes that there are people watching our closeness, he would unhesitantly detach himself from me as if I bathed and smelled like shit. 

Now don't get me wrong, okay? I do perfectly understand who we are in this world. We are idols, and from the word itself, it means that we should be perfect examples... Not just to those younger groups but to the rest of the world. We should always be at our best or the antis would kill our confidence. Our arrangement wasn't exactly inspiring to other people. And I'm afraid that if people knew of this complicated situation that we involved ourselves with, they would tear us apart. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to fuck this up. But I keep on forgetting that this is not my goddamned reality.

 _ **This is TOP's world, you dumbass! If you don't stop being yourself here, it would ruin both GD's and TOP's reputation. You don't want that to happen, do you? So keep your shit together and do your best to keep this secret or else everything will be in chaos.**_  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So we were told that there would be an auction event next week wherein the 3 of us, Dongwook, GD, and Me, would be the hosts. According to YG, we were handpicked by the organizers to help with this affair. Sajang-nim also said that it would be a great way to showcase our duo. What I didn't know was that, TOP had already agreed on this... Which left me with no other choice but to go to that damned function.

GD was busy the entire time before the event. He didn't bother to call me or even send me a message to wherever the hell he was or what the fuck he was up to. Okay. For the record, I'm not mad. And I am definitely not clingy or something... It's just that I can't help but to compare him with Jiyong. I'm sorry. I know it's not right but seriously... I can't stop myself from doing so. I am so used to Jiyong's ways that I always look for that kind of endearment. And how can I not expect that same treatment from someone who has the same face as him? 

Now don't tell me that this is something new to him. With his looks and his status, I doubt that no one would want to be his special someone or that he hasn't been in a relationship before. I am sure that he is aware of the responsibilities and obligations of being in a commitment because... _Who the fuck doesn't?_ It doesn't matter if his previous relationships were just a mere fling. It still follows that same strategy. 

Jiyong always has the time to update me. He wouldn't mind texting me at a random hour... May it be about something important or not. He would even inform me about his lunch break, what he ate and would even ask me if I took my lunch as well. And I always appreciate that part of him. He always makes it a point to let me know that he thinks of me every single day... Even in simple ways.

I've come to realize that it is one of their differences. Jiyong may seem like a news reporter... Filling me in with full details about his day-to-day activities while on the other hand, his double would just do whatever the hell he wants without letting me know any of it. I like being noticed. I like being notified. And I wouldn't mind if my phone keeps annoying the shit out of me with its continual beeping because I know that the notification came from my other half.

I suddenly felt stupid. I shouldn't be comparing these two people no matter how exactly alike they were. GD is not Jiyong and Jiyong is not GD. _Period._ I am not allowed to expect anything from GD because what we have is just for show. 

_**Right. I forgot to elaborate about that part of our relationship.** _

While he did approve of this madness, his main purpose was to clear up the awkwardness that doesn't seem to vanish between the two of us. Before the agreement, GD would always get mad at me even at small silly things. His blood would boil the moment I came into his sight. I don't understand why he is always angry at me. If he and TOP were really close, how come he always has that reaction towards me? 

It was all thanks to his mirrored image to Jiyong. It made me put up with his unnecessary berating. No matter how much he ticked my nerves off, I would just duck my head and let him be for I know that sooner or later, he would come to his senses and apologize to me. And that's where the idea came from... That's the reason why he said yes to my proposition. He believed that if we have that kind of connection, things will be as natural as it was just like what he shared with TOP. So as fucked up as it was, I allowed him to be my Jiyong. 

I wonder how Jiyong would react if he knew that I am... Should I say, cheating... On him with his doppelganger? I would understand if he gets mad at me but I am so much hoping that he would atleast give me a chance to explain why I am doing this. _This is just an act. This is for convenience... To be successful at pretending to be my doppelganger, TOP_. 

I was still calling GD when I got picked up by a black classy Jaguar that will take me to the venue. Finally, after 2 rings...

 _"Hyu..ung?"_ He answered.

 _"Where are you, babe? I've been calling you since morning. Why aren't you picking up my calls?"_ My tone sounded a little annoyed.

 _"Sorry. I ran into Taeyang and he asked me to help him with something."_ He simply replied.

I can hear voices on the other line. I instantly knew that he was surrounded with other people because he isn't usually like that. Even if this was all a joke, part of the agreement was to see him like how I see Jiyong _(with the exception of intimacy)_ for us to be more into the teasing. But that's not how I see it... Let's just say that he was really curious about this set up. So whenever we feel that it was safe, we would talk and act like a couple... And that includes phone calls and messaging.

_"Hyu...ng? Are you... Still there? Listen... I need to go. Sajang-nim is looking for you. I'm gonna have to cover up for your tardiness so please hurry."_

_**That's it.** _

_"GD-sshi, do you want to know why I was late?"_ I tried to sustain my voice. _"I went to your pad this afternoon only to find out that you weren't there. I kept calling you... But you don't fucking answer your goddamned phone. I was circling around town, looking for you... Because you don't seem to know the purpose of why a mobile phone has been invented..."_ I halted. _"Is a text message that hard for you to do? How about just answering the call, huh? Is that too fucking much to ask from you?"_

I can't help but be mad. His casual replies really killed off my mood tonight. 

_"... I'm sorry, hyu...ng. I... Was... Preoccupied today... And... Shit! I really really have to go. Let's talk about this later, please? I'm so sorry."_

He hung up.

 _ **Fucking hell! He is seriously making me mad today.**_  
_______________________________________________________________________________

_**At the auction** _

I've never really been to an auction before. All I know is that it's more about socializing... And money. The auction was for a cancer foundation. As of the moment, cancer has been the leading cause of mortality in South Korea so the organizers, as well as renowned doctors, teamed up for this event for the purpose of starting up a more dedicated clinical research to end this deadly illness. 

And speaking of socializing, I was wearing the fanciest black tuxedo that I've ever worn paired with an expensive ebony loafers. I gotta say that this sky-high clothes made me look ravishing tonight. From the moment that I went out of the jag, all eyes were on me. I stood there motionless because of the stares that I was receiving. And I am not really used to this kind of attention. I was about to turn around when someone patted my back and said...

_"TOP-sshi, you look exceptionally... Handsome tonight."_

_Dongwook._

This guy is as stunning as I've ever seen him. The Dongwook that I know doesn't usually dress up like this. He is more casual... Wears comfy clothes which not just makes him attractive but also eye-catching. Now this man in front of me not only has the same persona as the Dongwook in my world but also carries that similar ability to swoon all the people within his perimeter.

 _"How about we get inside now? It's kinda cold out here."_ He moved closer to my side as he gestures me to walk forward.

As soon as we went inside the venue, my eyes roamed around the area. _GD. Where the hell is he?_ I was looking for my phone in my pocket when suddenly a hair-raising energy quivered up my being. The second that I looked up, GD was staring angrily at me. 

Just when I was about to pace into his direction, Dongwook grabbed my arm and told me that the event was about to start. When I turned my head towards GD's location, he was already nowhere in sight. So I walked with Dongwook and get to our posts.

The auction's bidding ended. It was now the time to do some marketing... Which was actually GD and I's main goal. During the entire hosting, GD and Dongwook put up their most alluring smile towards the guests while I just robotically did what I was told to do... To host admirably. GD might've smiled at me at some point of the event but I can still feel the anger radiating through his body. _Wait a minute. Why is he mad, anyway? As far as I can remember, I was the one who got ignored the whole day. I was the one waiting for him to give me some attention. So why is he taking this on me?_

GD went down the stage hurriedly. I sped towards him, with Dongwook by my side and said...

_"GD, wait up."_

He strode faster, not seeming to hear my call. So I clutched his arm as he turned his attention to me along with that deadly glare... Again.

 _"So it's just GD now, huh babe?"_ He muttered while looking at Dongwook who seemed to be so amused by our activity.

 _"Why are you mad? Were you the one who waited for someone to finally take notice on them?"_ I tried to be as calm as possible.

 _"Fuck you. Let go of my arm."_ He wriggled his arm.

 _"TOP-sshi, GD-sshi... Can you guys do your lovers quarrel later? I hope you're not forgetting that we still have a lot of things to do here."_ He smiled at us.

GD unhesitatingly glared at Dongwook.

 _"Right. How about you go with Dongwook-sshi, hyung?"_ He said sarcastically. _"I have some things to attend to anyway."_ He turned around and walked briskly towards the opposite direction.

_**What the hell was that for? Why the fuck is he angry?** _

Dongwook tapped my shoulder as he offered his charming smile and said...

_"Let's go do what we're ought to do, TOP-sshi."_

I was with Dongwook the whole night of the event. GD never once looked at me for he was busy going around the room to charm the guests. Even though we were not together, he managed to sell our duo without my help. 

I was drunk already when today's task finished. I wasn't really planning on drinking tonight. But because someone pissed me off, I couldn't help but to chug down that tempting alcohol. I was picking up glasses from different waiters around the room. Dongwook, as well as the other guests, kept passing me those alcoholic beverages as we talked about things I never really cared about. It was then that I noticed GD marching towards the exit of the room. I called out to him and strolled unto his location. 

 _"Are you leaving now, baby?"_ I smiled like nothing had happened.

He looked at me sternly and said...

_"The fuck! You're drunk!"_

He walked past me as I strode down his path and grabbed his arm. 

_"Baby, wait..."_

_"Hyung... Stop calling me that and let me go. You're drunk."_ He wrestled with my grip. 

He calmed himself, closed the gap between us and whispered, _"Don't fucking make a scene here, you idiot. I don't want people to take things the wrong way."_

I laughed unhinderedly as he shot me a dangerous glare.

 _"Of course. You don't ever want people to know about... This."_ I grinned. _"Now why the hell would you agree on this if you don't fucking want me to do my job?"_ I moved closer to him.

 _"And what job is that, huh? To flirt with your fucking ex's doppelganger?"_ He said as he continuously glared at me.

I laughed again for the second time... Turning all attention to us.

_"Stop laughing, you moron! What the fuck did I tell you? I don't want people to know..."_

_"That we're together?"_ I voiced a little louder.

GD looked stricken. He strongly pulled his arm away from my grip as he dragged me outside... All the way to that elevator taking us to the basement parking lot. 

As soon as the lift closed, he slammed me towards the corner and said...

 _"Fuck you. Fucking fuck you, you stupid piece of shit!"_ He yelled. _"You should know where to place your alcohol, you bastard! Look what it fucking did? And why the fuck did you drink too much, anyway? Were you really that pissed or do you want Dongwook hyung to take you home?"_

_**Fuck this guy!** _

_"You are the most stupid, most ignorant person, and the ultimately fucked up human being that I've ever met! Why can't you fucking understand that I was just trying to get your attention?"_ I bawled. _"Oh yeah... This is nothing serious, right? But if that's what we are... Then why the fuck do you keep acting jealous all throughout the night? Why do I feel like you are being possessive with me when you always leave me hanging out there? What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ I yelled.

The minute that the elevator opened, he quickly walked out of it and paced towards his car. Of course, I matched his speed as I took a hold of his arm and said...

_"That's what you're good at... Not wanting to talk about the problem..."_

_"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!"_ He said angrily.

 _"Don't tell me what to do! We are trying to fix the awkwardness between us! And if this fucked up plan is not doing us any good, then let's just stop this."_ I retorted.

 _"I am fucking possessive... And I am fucking... Jealous!"_ He breathed out _. "I was trying not to... Because this can't be happening. You are... Not from here... And you are fucking married, for christ's sake! I cannot... Fuck!"_ He unlocked his car as we both hopped inside it.

 _"You cannot what?"_ I asked promptly.

 _"Get out. I don't want to talk about this anymore."_ He snapped back.

_"I am not going out unless you tell me what the hell you cannot do!"_

My heart was already banging inside my ribcage. I think I know where this is leading to. And Shit! _This is... So fucking wrong._

_"Seunghyun... I... I think... I am... In love with you."_

 


	16. The "5-years-later" letter

Dear Jiyong, 

Hey baby! I am actually here at Taeyang’s house right now and we were just talking about you. I wanted to drop by at your work but you told me to just have a great time with Taeyang. :( You’re still mad at me about last night, I guess. :( I’m sorry that it took me a while to write this letter. I know you’ve been expecting this since last week. But the meetings are endless. :( So much stress is going on. I’m really sorry that I couldn’t get the time to do this. :(

So now that the stress is almost over, allow me first to thank you for staying with me the whole time. I wouldn’t make it without you. :) Thank you for bearing with me. I know I am a little too much (Or maybe not… Haha!) to handle when I am stressed. So thank you baby, for understanding. :) I really appreciate it! 

Now let’s get back to the purpose of why I’m writing this. You know I have to admit that this “5-years-later letter” is really a good idea. The letters not only remind us of the things that we’ve planned on doing but also act as our memory bank. :) Remember the last time we do this? There was no pharmacy yet… But the dream was already there. And now look at us, we are managing 3 pharmacies already! Congratulations to you, baby. You are the inspiration to this success because without you, I wouldn’t make it to where I am now. Thank you for sharing this dream with me. You have no idea how grateful I am to see you here with me. :) 

Five years from now, I’ll be 35. I am sure that there will be a lot of things to happen in the years to come. But I hope that when you get to read this, we are still together. I know you don’t believe in marriage as much as I do. Although I have to admit that I am not sorry for tying you down… You are definitely stuck with me for the rest of your life! Haha! Loveyou, babe. :) I just want you to know that marrying you is the 2nd best thing that ever happened to my life… Saying yes to my proposal, was the first. You made me the happiest man on Earth when you said I do. I love you, baby. No matter what happens, I will always love you. Changes, they say, are the only constant thing in this world. So if… Along the way, I happen to forgot about all of what I’ve just said… You have my permission to slap me in the face, together with this letter. :) I mean it though. Haha!

I don’t think I’ll have anything else to ask for anymore. I already have everything I need now… Managing my dream business with my lovely partner, having great friends who keep me grounded, a nice pad, a classy auto, two hyperactive furry babies, a well- sustained bank account, the travels that I’ve always dreamed of, and most especially, sharing all of these with my ideal partner. How lucky can I get? :) Sometimes, I ask myself how can I even deserve someone like you… If I were in your place, I wouldn’t have survived all those pain that you’ve gone through. I know I had been a terrible partner. But despite all that, you never lost hope in us. And I really really thank the heavens for sending someone like you, who completely turned me into a much better person. 

You gave me all of these, baby. Without your presence, I wouldn’t have done anything I’ve accomplished. And while I have this shy personality, you actually managed to bring out the best in me. The previous Seunghyun must’ve been a good person because I get to have you as his good karma. :) There is nothing that I could’ve done without you. Anything is possible as long as you say it is. Thank you baby, for always believing in me, for being the light in my darkest days. :)

Anyway, I’m sorry about the fight. I didn’t mean to get mad… It’s just that, I wanted to know if… We are still on the same page. I mean… You get too busy nowadays that I feel like you’re not with me on this. The stress is too much, babe. I need you. And I can’t tell you that because I know you have work to do. Sometimes, I forget that you also have a life of your own… And that I can’t drag you into everything that I need to do. There are also times when I feel like you’re fed up with everything already and that you’re just using your work as an excuse to get away from me. :( Are you, babe? Please say NO. I don’t know what I’ll do if you say yes. But I’ll work things out, I promise. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow… Not tonight. I know we’re both tired and I’m afraid that if we push ourselves into talking, it will just make everything worse. I love you, babe. I don’t want to fight anymore. Let’s be okay, baby. I miss you. I really miss you… The cuddling, the hugs, the kisses… Everything about you. So stop making me miss you this much, okay? Or I’ll make you pay for it twice… Thrice if you continue doing this. :)

Maybe along the 5 years, we’ll have the family that we’ve always wanted… A kid or kids to take care of. :) I’d really wanted to have them with you… Seeing them grow up, watching them play with… Maybe Dara’s kids (She better have kids by that time! Haha!), and allowing them to annoy the hell out of us with their constant demands. I can’t wait to see you portray your parent role because I know that you’ll be a great mother… I mean, father to them. Haha! Sorry, baby. :) You have been a great partner to me… So I perfectly know that you’ll be the best father to my… I mean, our kids. :) And you have me to back you up anytime. :) I am just waiting for your go signal on this. I am always ready whenever you are. :) 

Wow! I actually made this long already. :) I love you, baby. I hope you know that. And I really hope you know how much. I might have not told you everyday that I do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t, okay? Life keeps us busy and I’m sorry for using it as an excuse to make you feel unloved. I just want to protect what we have, this convenient life that we are blessed with. I want to give you everything this world could offer. I want to experience this life with you with no hassles. I want to share everything here with you as long as time permits. I couldn’t thank you enough already just for being here with me all throughout. I may suck at showing how I really feel about you but I want you to know that you mean the world to me. You are my life, the one that I’ve always prayed for. :)

So, I’m about to end this up now. I better hope you’re not crying, knowing how emotional you get whenever I give you letters. Haha! So don’t you dare read this without me, okay? Because I want to be the one who wipes those tears running down your cute little face. :)   
Remember that I will always love you even if I get stuck in another world or universe or wormhole just like Do Min Joon-sshi from your favorite drama. :) I’ll always think of you no matter how far I go. And I want you to know that your side is where I always wanted to be. 

Love,

Seunghyun


	17. My favorite mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pardon the slurring and the redundancy. Please bear with me. ^_^

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

 _"Hyung, where are you? Are you busy right now? If it's not a hassle, can you come here at GD's place? He's fucking drunk already yet he refused to stop drinking."_ Taeyang voiced anxiously.

 _"Hyung!! Are you guys having a fight? Please make up now. GD hyung is torturing us."_ Daesung complained.

 _"Heeyyy... Whooo thee fuck aree youu guysss talkinggg to? Comee onn! Filll uuppp thoossee shhoott glasssess anndd lett's drinkkk..."_ GD, in his drunken tone. _"Yah Maknaeee! Commee heeree! Driinkk withh yourr hyyunng."_

 _"GD hyyuunnggg... I'm drunk already. Pleasee stopp makinng me drinkkk."_ Seungri grumbled. _"TOP hyung! Pleaseeee savee mee."_ He whined.

 _"Can you talk him out of drinking, hyung? He's a fucking mess... And you're the only one I knew he will listen to._ " Taeyang pleaded.

 _"Please come, hyung. We're begging you."_ Daesung followed up.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
GD avoided me after that night. The revelation made him stay away from me that every time we have a show, he would ask either Taeyang or Daesung to discuss the agenda to me. I tried calling him after that incident. But he never answered my calls. I even sent him a lot of messages for the next succeeding days but I never got a reply.

The ignoring has been going on for the whole month. And honestly speaking, this situation is already starting to piss me off. Both of us knew that this is a very serious matter to pay attention to because it's not just damaging what we have but also the group's solidity. I don't understand why he's being so stubborn. Okay... Given that his confession drove him into this turmoil, why can't he be responsible enough to face the situation? Why the hell can't he talk to me about this even though I am reaching out to him already? _Seriously. He is driving me crazy._ I've never even experienced this kind of stress with Jiyong. And what's worse, I've never went after Jiyong like how I was running after GD these past few days.

So I decided to give him his time. I am human. I have my limitations too. And if I were to be frank, I don't usually pursue someone like that. Maybe because Jiyong was never like that. He never situated me in this kind of scenario... _Which I found to be so fucking difficult to manage_. It has been two weeks since I mimicked his actions. As GD kept his distance, I did the same. He ignored me, I ignored him too. And that led us both into frequent drinking.

I don't usually drink alone. I have Taeyang or Daesung and even Minho as my drinking buddies. But in here, I chose to drink alone. I know the other guys would've wanted to grab a bottle with me but I cannot bother them like how I did with their alternates. It was mainly because I don't share the same bond with them like what I have with their doubles. And... I'm afraid that if I got too much intoxicated, I would unhesitantly reveal the reason why I was distressed lately. Although I know that it's pretty much obvious what the hell was causing me to be like this.

The others kept GD company. They drink every night either at a bar or at GD's pad. The alcohol-filling nights would always be their topic of discussion every time we got together. And of course, I was never invited. Simply because he was mad at me for being his reflection... For showing him how annoying as fuck his actions were. And it pissed him so much that he surrenders himself to alcohol every fucking night. As much as it worries me, I still opted to be firm with staying away from him not because I am as obstinate as that but because I want him to resolve his issues first for me to get thru him. I came to realize that I cannot simply push him into talking because it is already evident that he is not yet ready to communicate with me.

But when I got that call from Taeyang, I can't help but to succumb into the pleading. It wasn't just Taeyang who was begging but the other two as well. Aside from that, GD's slurring was all over the background... And that irritated me the most.

I was a little tipsy when my phone rang. I happen to be drinking at that time also... And like I have a fucking choice, I drove myself to where the hell they were. Good thing, they chose to be inebriated at GD's place this time. And as I stood there in front of his door, I continuously pressed down the doorbell indicating the impatience as well as the annoyance I was currently feeling. Taeyang quickly opened the door so I walked inside to get to where the man of the hour was.

_"Whhaatt the ffuckk? Aamm I too drrunkk alreaadyy or aamm I halluccinaating rrighht now?"_

GD unsteadily moved towards Daesung's seat as he loudly whispered...

_"Tteell mee it'ss noottt wwhoo I tthinnk itt iss, Daaee."_

He stared at me with sozzled eyes.

Then suddenly, a back hug made me disentangle from GD's gaze. The drunktard tightly cradled into my body as he said...

_"Hyyuuunnnggg!! I aamm soo reeliieevveeddd to seee youu! Yoouu areee mmyy savviouur!"_

Seungri.

He clumsily gaited in front of me. He was about to kiss my cheek when he got instantly slammed into a chair near him.

 _"Fuucckk yoouu, Maaknaee! Doonn'tt yyoouu eevenn daree..."_ GD seethed.

All of us looked at GD with shock as he moved back to his seat and grabbed the shot glass in front of him. Before he was able to consume that pellucid liquid, I instantly snatched the drinking vessel from his hand and said...

_"Stop drinking. You're drunk already."_

GD glared at me as he poured another shot of that vodka into the tiny glass. The moment he attempted to put the damned crystal glass into his mouth, I grasped the container away from his lips... Making the liquid spill over his shirt.

 _"Fuuckk! Lookk whaatt youuu ddidd, yyouu biigg jjerkk!"_ He yelled while fanning out his wet shirt.

 _"Not my fault."_ I countered. _"If you just listened to me, then that would've not happen."_ I gave him a vexed look.

 _"Goo fuucckk yourrself! Anndd whhyy arree yoouuu eeevven hheerree? Wwhherre thee heelll arree youurr mannerrss, hyunng? Yoouu knnoww itt'ss ruuddee wheen youu coommee unninvvitedd."_ He stared angrily at me.

 _"Stop being a pain-in-the-ass, will you? Aren't you ashamed to drag the others into your stupidity? Why are you being like a recalcitrant five-year old kid? You could've just talked to me so we can settle this right on the spot."_ I fought back.

 _"Youuu aree soo fuucckiingg fuull oof yoouursself! Whattt madee youu ttthink thatt I amm drinkiing becaauussee of youuu?"_ He shot me an indignant glare.

 _"Alright, then. Why, Ji? Why are you drinking every fucking night, huh? What the hell is your problem?"_ I yelled back at him.

 _"Hyung, please... Calm down. GD is obviously drunk. You're talking to a human vodka already."_ Taeyang mocked.

 _"Ffucck youu, Younggbae! I amm nott drunkk! You guyss are!"_ GD retorted.

I exhaled in a deliberate manner. This is getting out of control already. So being the hyung that I am, I turned my attention to the other members and said...

_"Taeyang, Daesung, Seungri... I'll take this from here. You guys can go ahead now."_

The three others nodded. They walked past me and GD as the tippler said...

_"Heeyyy... Don'ttt goo. Don'tt leavve mee hereee withh thiss idiott."_

_"GD hyung, I think you and TOP hyung should talk. Whatever the hell is your problem should be ironed out now. Can't you see that it's wrecking you already?"_ Daesung answered.

 _"Dae's right, Ji. Talk to hyung. We all know that he is the reason why you're being like this. You guys should settle your dispute. It's fucking tiring to do this every night with you... For God's sake!"_ Taeyang commented.

 _"Thee heelll bee wwithh youu, Younggbaee! Samee goess witthh youu twoo! Noww gett the fucck outt off myy houusee."_ He blared.

The mentioned guys walked towards the door as they dipped their heads in my direction as their means of saying goodbye. As soon as the main door closes, GD turned to me and said...

_"Whatt aree youu still doingg heree? Doo I needd to repeatt myyseelf? Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House!"_

I affixed my eyes unto him as he continues to scowl at me. Although it's not really hard to do, I tried to see him as Jiyong... Just to make things easier. I exhaled audibly to allow my body to relax. When the uncomfortable feeling subsided, I sauntered towards him and reached for his hands.

 _"Donn't fuckking touuchh me."_ He stepped back.

 _"Baby, please... Let's talk."_ I insisted.

 _"Fuckk youu. Stopp callingg mee thatt, youu bastardd!"_ He bawled.

 _"Alright, Ji. Let's talk. Please let's stop this now. I'm sorry... For being an asshole. I should've not suggested... That. I didn't mean for this to happen. I totally understand if you are mad. But please... Talk to me."_ I explained while attempting to reach out for his hands once more. _"If you're mad, then tell me. If you want to punch me, I would perfectly understand."_

This time, he allowed me to lay my hands on him... So I embraced him securely. He cuddled up to me as he convulsed into crying.

_"I'm... I'mm sorryyy, Seunnghyyun-sshi. I... I..."_

_"It's okay. Please don’t apologize. I should be the one doing that, GD-sshi." I breathed out. "I'm sorry for doing this. I... Wasn't meaning for this to happen... I swear. I thought that this would clear up the tension between us. I didn't mean to challenge your... Preference. I should've not let you agree on this."_ I explained.

 _"It wassn't youur fauultt. I wass stuppidd enouggh to... Faall foorr youu."_ He hid his reddened face into my chest. _"I'mm... Sorry. Butttt I cann't heellpp it. Youu aree too affecctionnate, anndd carringg, andd underrstandding, annd thoughtffull, and... Lovving... Hooww cann I nottt fall inn lovve witth youu iff thoosse quallitiess aree my weaaknesses?"_ He glanced up to me.

_"I'm really sorry. I should've never had done any of that..."_

_"No. It wasss partt of ourr agreeement."_ He intervened. _"Anndd I... Wanntedd to... Feeell howw it iss to havvee youu."_ He said as he hugged me tightly. _"I amm really... Envviouus off Jiyyonng becaauusee hee hass youu inn thiss mannerrr."_ He released his grip from my top and then proceeded, _"Uhh... Listenn... I... I havven't beenn commpletely honnest withh you..."_

He withdrew himself from the embrace to look at me while I stared back at his misty eyes. And so he continued with his speech...

 _"Theere wass a timee whenn TOP hyunngg's teassingg madee mee wish thatt he really meaann it."_ He respires. " _At thatt momment, sometthingg inexplicaabllee wass happenning to mee whicch I fucckingg praayed soo hardd tthat itt wasn'tt whhatt I kneww it was. It madee mee uneassy upp tto thee extent where thee shittyy feelingg keptt mee wide awakke att nighht. Andd... I... I ccouldn't talkk to anyonee abouut itt."_ He voiced out with profound hopelessness. _"I wass afraaidd thatt iff I toldd TOP hyyung abouut thisss fucckedd upp feelingg I wass havingg towardss himm, hee wouldd keepp hiss distanncee fromm mee and I... I donn't wannt thatt to happen."_ He said while shaking his head exaggeratedly. _"Soo as mucch as it weakkened mee likee hell, I decidedd to putt upp withh thatt agoonizing feelingg annd too jusst... Goo withh the floow."_ He frowned.

 _"Itt wass onee off the reassons whyy I agreed to yourr suggestion. Asside frrom the factt that itt woulld bee easierr forr mee to wwork withh youu becaausee youu aree a naturall att flirtingg... Whichh wass allmosst thee bullk off whatt wee actuallyy doo... I realizedd thatt beinng withh youu madee myy life eassier and stress-free. I donn't eveen needd to doo anytthing att all becausee youu aree alreadyyy doingg everyything ffor mee."_ He smiled wearily.

 _"Butt thee moostt imporrtant reasonn is thatt I... I gett to... Experiencee havingg a... Relationship witth himm thruu youu."_ A blush erupted from his cheeks. _"Youu aree thee nearesst thatt I cann geett to havve him likee... This. Thatt's whyy I... I'm sorryy. Thee truthh is, I didn'tt reallyy stopp myselff fromm fallingg in lovee witth you evenn iff I kneww thatt youu weree marriedd."_ He looked at me with sad eyes. _"I gottaa admitt thatt thee storiess abouutt youu andd Jiyoong nott onlyy iggnitted thatt sparrkk but alsoo madee mee embracee thatt feeling."_ Again, his cheeks turned pink. _"Jiyyong iss soo lucckyy too havve whatt I hadd been dreamingg of havingg witth TOP hyung. Andd fuckk! I'm sounnding likee a mmadd persson rigght noww."_ He chuckled.

He slightly shifted his body away from me and said...

 _"I feell soo jealouuss thatt hee cann tell thee worlld thatt youu aree his. Andd howw I fuckinng wisshh thatt I havve thatt kindd off freedomm too... Iff I doo, I wouldnn't hessitate too admmitt all of thesee to hyunng evenn iff hee doessn't shaaree the samee feelingg likke minee."_ He gave me a disheartened smile. _"I'mm sorryy forr everrythinng, Seunnghyunn-sshi. Pleasse forrgivve mee foorr makking youu bearr witthh myy fuccked upp attituddee."_ He ducked his head in apology.

I didn't know what to say. I was unexpectedly speechless. All of a sudden, my head... As well as my chest felt heavy from what I've just heard. I couldn't believe that I actually intensified his feelings towards the other me. Is it a bad thing? Or a good one? I began to wonder how TOP would feel about this. One thing's for sure... He would definitely kill me if he knew of what I've done. I don't know how to rationalize this anymore. All that's been apparent to me is that I cannot let him feel this way towards me and that I have to do something about it. But... My heart seems to be opposing to what my brain is saying. If I follow this goddamned crazy heart, it will definitely make matters worse. So I decided against it to preserve whatever is left of our bond as I gave him the best reply I could think of.

_"GD-sshi, it's not just you who's at fault here. I've always believed that it takes two to tango... So let me apologize for everything. I'm really really really sorry for what happened. I wish I can talk to TOP-sshi right now... I'm going to tell him how great of a person you are. That it's alright to venture into something that... Who knows, could've been great. That everything would be okay just as long as you both keep working together... And that..."_

_"No no no... Please NO."_ He interrupted as he amplifies the wobbling of his head.

He turned to me with pleading eyes, tears welling up to its corners as he said...

 _"Seunghyun-sshi... Pleasee donn't sayy thatt. Donn't endd thiss forr me, pleasee."_ He implored. _"I proomissee nott to bee a braatt anymorree... I will trryy nott to bee jealouuss... I will avvoidd beinng possessivee... I wwilll doo anyythiingg youu wannt... Evenn everythingg thatt youu'd ask off me... Jusstt doon'tt breaaakk thiss off. I sweearr I'll bee att myy bestt... Justt pleaseee... Pleasse donn'tt doo this."_ A tear fell down from his eye. _"Donn't wakke mee upp yeett... Fromm thiss beauutiffull dreaam I'mm havinng."_ He finally sobbed.

While I was appalled by his entreatment, my arms can't help but to pull him once again into an embrace. I hugged him tighter than I've ever did as I try to comfort him the best way I knew how. I soothed his back while I hushed his cries. He wept to his heart's content and it paralyzed my logic. And as I reclaim my reasoning, I started to look for ways on how we are going to put an end into this complication. I was still trying to figure things out when GD wriggles his trapped body out of my arms. He wiped his tears, bowed to me as an apology, and cupped my cheeks.

 _"Iff... Iff it's nott too mucch to askk... Cann wee stayy likke thisss whilee... Youu'ree herre?"_ He cautiously inquired. _"Youu donn't havee to ppretend to be TOP hyung anymorree. Jusst bee you... I wannt to doo thiis withh youu, as Seunghyunn, andd nott as hyung. I donn't wannt to makke believve anymmore... I wannt us to be real. Wouldd thatt be oh... Kay?"_ He asked earnestly.

_"GD-sshi, I... I..."_

_"I knoww you'ree marriedd... Andd I knoww how thiss sounddss like... How I sounnd like... Iff it's too difficultt forr youu, I wouuldd pretendd to bee Jiyong. I'll hellp youu..."_

_"No."_ I cut in.

He looked at me with beseeching eyes as he laced his hands over mine and said...

_"Pleassee... Donn'tt sayy NO... Pleaasee..."_

_**Shit! I am officially the most stupid person in this whole wide world. Why the hell did I put myself in this situation? Fuck!** _

If I were just like before, GD wouldn't need to be like this in front of me. I would be the one to chase after him and do everything for me to have him. But I am not like that anymore. I stopped being that person a long time ago. And I cannot afford to play around because based from my experience; it was never fun to cave into such temporary happiness.

Yet here he is... _My baby's selfsame_. The carbon copy of everything that he is. When he smiles, I see Jiyong in him... When he's mad, he matched his hatred... And when he fucking cries, it causes the same disturbance into my being. Why is this so complicated? How can it be so wrong and so fucking right at same time? And why do I feel like it's... Okay to have this with him?

_**Forgive me, Jiyong. I cannot help it. And as much as I fucking miss you so bad, I couldn't help but to submit into this covetable mistake. If I ever get back to you, I am going to do whatever it takes for you to forgive me.** _   
  
_"Let's start all over again... GD-sshi... Will you be my partner in this world?"_


	18. The relentless TOP

**TOP's POV**

 

> **Ji, I'm sorry.**
> 
> **Please forgive me. I'm really sorry.**
> 
> **Please answer me.**
> 
> _5 minutes after..._
> 
> **Fucking answer me, Jiyong. Why aren't you picking up my calls? Stop being so difficult, for God's sake! I swear I'm gonna quit doing this if you don't answer me the next time I call you.**
> 
> _After 10 calls..._
> 
> **Come on, baby. Please tell me what do I have to do for you to forgive me.**
> 
> _5 minutes after that..._
> 
> **I'm begging you. Please talk to me. T_T**
> 
> _And another 3 minutes after that..._
> 
> **I miss you.**

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jiyong never replied... And it's fucking driving me crazy, I swear. I did every fucking way just for him to take notice of me... Sending messages every now and then ever since the moment I got kicked out of his house, calling him to a point where my phone has to charge 3 times a day, and even showing up my ass in front of his workplace. But nothing came out good from all of it. It was like he disappeared from the face of the earth, with no signs of him anywhere. 

I have to say that his manner of avoiding me is remarkable. He really hid himself so well that I can't believe I am chasing after him like this. I've never run after someone to a point where I literally made a fool out of myself in the eyes of other people. And I fucking find it so unfair of him to do this. It wasn't even an unforgivable crime, to begin with. Well yeah, I did go beyond our boundaries but fuck! He didn't have to do this to me. If he is so fucking almighty as his friends described him to be, why does his actions seem like the other way around? 

So I had to extend an extra mile to search for other ways to get thru him. And as embarrassing as it is, I sought the advice of my best friends for this fucking misunderstanding. The moment that they've arrived for today's assembly, their faces were all in inquiry as they sat in Taeyang's comfy duvet.

 _"I can't believe that you are asking us about this."_ Daesung said as he quaffed the beer on his hand.

 _"You guys are my best friends, right? Isn't that supposed to be your job? To help me when I am in need of it?"_ I replied while opening my own can of beer.

 _"Well, you always seem to know what to do in times like this. You never ask for help, Seunghyun."_ Minho supported Daesung's statement. _"Have you tried going to his work?"_

 _"Weren't you listening to what I've just said? I've dragged my goddamned ass into his workplace and he just holed up at their back office."_ I answered in a slightly annoyed tone.

 _"How about at your own pharmacy? Have you tried going in there too?"_ Daesung asked.

 _"I did... And Dami noona told me that Jiyong's never been there. Noona said that he calls up once in a while just to check if they need something or if they need him for anything."_ I sighed.

 _"Then why don't you just wait for him outside of the hospital? If I am not mistaken, there is only one exit to that place... If you stay there, I'm sure you'll end up seeing him."_ Daesung proposed.

 _"Or... Why don't you just wait for him inside your house, Seunghyun?"_ Taeyang countered. _"I don't understand why you're stressing over something unnecessary. You, who happens to be the most resolute person I've ever known, didn't even think of that simple solution? I can't believe that you actually held a meeting about this! It's fucking easy to resolve, you asshole!"_ He vexed out.

_**I did think about doing that, okay? It's just that... I don't know the fucking lock code to his place. Call me stupid, but I never thought that I would be in this situation in the first place... To fucking get evicted from his house.** _

And what's even worse is that I can't tell these assholes about that drawback for I know that it is something that they wouldn't accept nor believe. Of course, as a husband, _how the hell could I not know of our pad's lock code?_

I was trying to construct my thoughts on how to ask them about the fucking code when I saw Taeyang retrieve his phone from his pocket and busied his hands on its screen. He slowly motions the device unto his ear and spoke...

_"Hey, Ji! Where are you?"_

I felt my body froze on the spot as I anticipate the answers from the person on the other line. 

 _"Oh... You're at work? That sucks... I was around your neighborhood."_ He grinned at me.

And I glared at him for that insulting devious smile because honestly, I felt envious and jealous at the same time. While I rang his phone several times, Taeyang just waited like 30 seconds for him to answer his call. 

 _"Seunghyun's fine. Don't worry. He's still acting weird... But he's manageable now than before."_ He tries to contain his giggle. _"Anyway, how are you? Are you... Feeling better now?"_ He asked.

Taeyang looked at me as he gave his ear to the person on the other line. His face transformed from a grin to a frown as he listened to whatever the hell the person was talking about over the phone.

 _"Oh right."_ He puffed out. _"Don't worry about it, Ji. He's not a bother... I'm glad to be of help."_ He smiled consciously. _"But I hope that you guys would fix things up the soonest. Seunghyun's kinda... Uh... Messed up right now."_ He declared.

As much as I wanted to protest against his testimony, I couldn't help but to concur at his remark. 

_**I am fucking screwed up. I am deranged... And if this situation continues, I'm afraid that I'm gonna go crazy.** _

The second he ended the call, he glowered at me and said...

 _"Get up. I'm driving you to your place. Go and talk to Jiyong! He doesn't seem mad anymore. He's more like... Sad."_ His eyes turned gloomy. _"Come on. This is so not fucking you to let Jiyong stay despondent for this long. Move your ass up or I'm gonna haul you towards the guest room, you lazy prick!"_

I was about to obey his pressing demand when Taeyang suddenly gasped, turning all of our attention to him as he said...

 _"The fuck, Seunghyun! How can you fucking waste your time overthinking about something stupid when you have a more important matter to deem upon, you dimwit! You do realize that your anniversary's coming up, don't you?"_ Taeyang said frantically. 

_**Oh right! It's fucking October now! Seunghyun and Jiyong's highly anticipated month... The only dimensional event that I successfully kept in mind...  How could I forget about that?** _

_"So what do you plan on doing?"_ Taeyang asked.

 _"I haven't... Really... Thought about it... Yet."_ I answered without looking at him.

 _"Well, you better be thinking about it now, Seunghyun. It has always been a competition between the two of you."_ Minho grinned.

 _"A competition?"_ I pried.

 _"For your information, these two bastards had been placing money over you and Jiyong... You know... Who gives out the best surprises."_ Taeyang explained.

_**Thank you for putting stress into my shoulders.** _

_"Assholes!"_ I spat irately.

The two men proudly beamed at my comment while I paced towards the room I happen to be staying at the moment. I showered, fixed my hair, and put on some decent clothes. I can't believe that I am actually excited to see that fucking guy who tormented me for two weeks. Yes... For two full weeks. And I can't believe that I am still functioning even though I spent all of my wit planning out different strategies on how to win that fucking bastard’s attention.

But even if this is far from being over, I'm gonna make a promise to myself right now. I am going to do whatever it takes to get back to him... And to stay with him as long as this world entitles me to.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**"What the fuck?"** _

Jiyong nearly jumped out of his place when he entered the apartment. I was sitting nervously at the sofa when he emerged through the door. His face paled the moment he realizes that it was who he had been avoiding for two straight weeks.

Oh by the way, did you know that the fucking lock code was Jiyong and I's birth dates? I didn't really think that it would be it until I luckily combined those dates together. Pride rushed through my veins the moment the circular green light gleamed into the doorknob. 

_**So... I wasn't so bad after all then.** _

As Jiyong transfixed himself at the unit's entry, I stood up and walked towards him. I gave him an apologetic smile as he continued to stare at me in shock. Courage kicked right thru me that made me initiate the talk that was so overdue already. So I started...

 _"I'm so sorry for scaring you, Ji."_ I reached out to him. _"And I'm really sorry for everything. Please forgive me."_

That was the first time that I've ever spoken to him in an adoring way. Tonight is the night that I'm going to put an end into this fucking tiff. And just as I promised to be at my best, I kept my cool while displaying that affectionate smile on my face. 

But then...

He didn't speak... Not even a simple gesture to confirm that he understood what I've just said. It seemed like he had become an ice cube towards my contrition. As I studied his addled behavior, my hands tightened at his arms making him come back to his senses. He looked down at his feet and said...

_"I'm sorry. I was just... Upset at that time. I shouldn't have asked you to stay with Taeyang-sshi."_

He slowly turned his eyes into me as a cagey smile appeared on his lips. I couldn't help but to caress his face upon seeing that smile. While he did flinch at my sudden move, I didn't forbid myself from touching him. This time, I won't deny it to myself anymore... _The aching fact that I really missed him._

 _"Don't be sorry. I understand why you did that. Although I have to admit that it was a little unfair of you to be like that."_ I paused to check on his reaction at my being straightforward. _"Please don't take it personally. I am perfectly aware of where you're coming from. And I didn't mean to... Surprise... You like that."_

 _"Uh... Yeah. About that..."_ He began.

 _"Please let me finish first."_ I interrupted. _"I'm sorry but I'm afraid that I would forget about all of the things that I've been meaning to tell you... If I... If I get distracted."_ I leveled his gaze as he urged me to continue.

 _"I... I meant what I said about it... About the kiss."_ I exhaled. _"I am not sorry for it and I am definitely not regretting it."_ I looked at him intently. _"At that time, I considered it right to express my compliment by... Kissing you... Because I had never been blown away by someone like that. I've never met a person who has that kind of reasoning which can turn a negative response into a positive one."_ My cheeks heated at that disclosure.

 _"I was about to categorize you as an asshole for the bullying that you did with Seungri."_ I closed in on him. _"But when you began with your justifications, I couldn't help but to agree with everything that you've said. Actually... I felt like a kid standing next to you."_ I chuckled. _"I thought I was great at handling things maturely when here you are... Putting that glorious attitude into shame with your profundities."_ A shy smile crept along my lips. 

Like I said... _ **Tonight is the night... That I am going to fix this... And to pour my heart about how I really feel about him.**_

 _"Jiyong, I... I think... Uh... Would it be... Okay if I..."_ I faltered. _"If I Fall for you?"_ I finished.

Being the most composed person that he is, he stayed collected. But a minute after that, he laughed loudly at my admission, causing an irritating echoing in my ears. And because I swore to keep my cool, I tried my very best to hide the irksomeness I was feeling as Jiyong eventually stopped from his laughter. I prepared myself for his reply as the loud and painful beating of my heart rattled me.

_"If I say NO, can you stop yourself from... Feeling that way?"_

_"What do you think?"_ I answered back.

 _"You are fully aware that I am married, right? So I have to say... NO to that, TOP-sshi."_ He stated the fucking obvious as he continued to put some more injury into my pride...

_**"Do not fall in love with me. I am saying this not because I am married already... But because you deserve to be happy with someone that you really like."** _

_"But I like you."_ I said without hesitation. _"Isn't that a little confusing? If what you say is true, then why does the person in front of me prevents me from being happy?"_ I stared at him resolutely.

Jiyong gradually moved away from me. He attentively stared at me and said... 

 _"I am NOT the person that you... Like, TOP-sshi."_ He blushed. _"Let me remind you that you don't belong to our category. You are straight, remember?"_ He evoked.

 _"I... I was. Not until I... Met you."_ I admitted.

He looked at me in wonder as he breathed out deeply.

 _"You don't like me, TOP-sshi. You are just curious."_ He began pacing towards the kitchen as I followed suit.

 _"I am not curious, Ji. I know what that is... And this is definitely not what curiosity looks to me."_ I reasoned out. _"I know that you don't believe me. And I... I don't know how to assure you with that... All I know is that... I do like you."_ I affirmed.

 _"No you don't."_ He said as he busied himself with preparing for dinner.

I neared him as he tensed upon the closeness. 

_"Tell me something... Did you ever... See me as who I really am? We both know that Seunghyun and me are two unlike people having the same face... But have you ever looked at me differently? Not as your husband?"_

He suddenly stopped at whatever he's doing and looked at me with serious eyes.

 _"I thought you understood my purpose of sending you away for two weeks?"_ He asked. _"I was beginning to... See more of you. And it's inducing a weird... Feeling I had a hard time controlling."_ He respires. _"One thing this bizarre phenomenon has proved to me is that no matter what happens, I am extremely magnetized by Seunghyun's existence. You see, even though you and him are way too different from each other... I can't help but be enticed... With you as well."_ He stared at me with caution. _"And I cannot allow that to happen because I feel like I'm betraying him... And at the same time... Not betraying him."_ His brows knitted together. _"I know how I sound like... But it's that confusing. It was really really confusing."_ He said with conviction. 

 _"Ji... No one knew of this fucked up situation I was in. As far as I'm concerned, it is a well known fact that I am your husband here. So why don't we just... Immerse ourselves into being married?"_ I asked heedlessly. _"But... Can you... Look at me as who I really am? Like TOP having a relationship with Jiyong?"_ I proposed.

_"Please stop it. I told you... I cannot do that. I don't like that idea... I am not a fan of disloyalty and..."_

_"And what if Seunghyun isn't being faithful to you right now?"_ I intruded. _"Have you ever thought about that? What if he's in my world?"_ An unexpected thought crawled into my mind that made my eyes widen at the fucking realization. 

 _"Jiyong, I... There's something that... I haven't told you about..."_ I resumed my thought. _"GD... Has a crush... On me. And if... Oh fuck!"_

I couldn't help but to get anxious at that idea. _What if Seunghyun really is in my world? What if he's now getting romantic with GD? Shit! I fucking hope not._ I am so much wishing that he is not doing anything that might cause a fucking misunderstanding between the two of us. 

Although I can't help but wonder how GD would react towards the other me... _Will he enjoy his time with Seunghyun? Will he make the most out of the touchy me? What does he think of a more mature version of me? Will he like Seunghyun better than me?_

_**Now why the fuck do I feel bothered about it?** _

But... If he happens to be there, will that only make things... Better? I am sure that GD is now having fun with a more expressive me in front of him. It would also mean that I won't have a hard time communicating this fluctuating emotions that I seem to have for him. I think... I might've had the same... Admiration that he has for me... Although I am still not sure about that. Like I said, the odd feeling was never stable.

As for Seunghyun being in my world, I doubt that GD didn’t deceivehim. I bet he saw Jiyong in him just like how I got bamboozled by his partner. _Perhaps... He fondled with him... Cuddled with him... Stroke him like how he touched Jiyong... And maybe he... Slept with him? Fuck NO! Fucking fuck him if he do that!_

I was engrossed by my very own fucked up theory when Jiyong unexpectedly laughed exuberantly. 

 _"Are you worried about something, TOP-sshi? Your face seemed to drain out of color."_ He chortled.

 _"And you're not? Aren't you supposed to be the one to have this damned reaction if... What I said happens to be true?"_ I responded.

He smiled.

 _"If that is true then... I better hope that GD-sshi is taking good care of him."_ He moved towards the shelf where the cooking pans were stored. 

 _"You don't care if Seunghyun's with GD? You don't mind if he mistook him as you? What if he does things that he only shares with you, wouldn’t it bother you? And what if they… They get intimate... Doesn't that concern you?"_ I voiced out in a brash.

He gaped at me in a composed manner and said...

 _"If he shares the things that we do with GD-sshi, so be it. I mean, how can I blame him for something so surreal? He never wished for any of this to happen... And neither did you, and GD-sshi, and me. It wouldn't be right to hold this against him, don't you think?"_ He said. _"Uhmm... Would I be weird if I say that I would be happy if he happens to like GD-sshi?"_ He peeked at me.

 _"You really are the strangest person in the world, you know that? I mean, seriously... How can you say that? What happened to the fighting-for-the-one-that-you-love attitude in you, huh?"_ I asked in amusement.

 _"Thank you. I get that a lot."_ He spoke with satisfaction. _"But come to think if it... If he likes GD-sshi, then that would mean that he is as strongly attracted as me to him."_ He giggled. _"Let me tell you a secret, TOP-sshi. Cheating is a cycle. No matter what you do to prevent it from happening, it will always be a part of the relationship."_ His eyes looked sad. _"When Seunghyun left me for Dongwook-sshi, he told me that he missed the feeling of having butterflies in the stomach, the feeling of looking forward to dates, and the feeling of extreme attraction towards somebody. I was hurt, of course… Because it only means that he doesn't experience any of it with me anymore."_ He lowered.  _"So even if it hurts so much, I let him go. I can't afford to be selfish. Not because I am still happy with him means I have to keep him even if he doesn't feel the same anymore."_ He breathed out.  _"It doesn't mean that I didn't fight for him though. Sometimes, surrendering yourself to that special someone's desires is the best way to keep them. Setting them free will surely kill you but it would also make you realize that if you really were meant to be together, then whatever happens, you will end up with each other. The challenge that has been incurred will not only strengthen the both of you but also the foundation of the relationship as well."_ He and his clever justifications.  _"I have to admit that I actually like being Seunghyun's slippers."_  He said as he took a sip from his bottled water.

 _"What do you mean... Slippers?"_ I asked in confusion.

He assembled his thoughts as he continued with his words of wisdom...

 _"Seunghyun loves shoes. Even though he has a lot already, he still can't help but to buy a pair of it whenever he passes by a shoe store. He is a firm believer of the saying, "Good shoes takes you to good places..." So he always... Like literally always... Buys shoes whenever he can."_ The gummy smile appeared on his lips. _"Those shit always confuse the hell out of him whenever he goes out. He can't seem to pick from the multiple pairs that he have from his shoe closet. His face looks like he wants to wear every fucking shoes inside of that damned cabinet."_ He chuckled. _"There was this one time when he asked me to choose a pair for him so that we can leave earlier. I immediately gave him my pick as he proceeded to unpack the pair out of the box. I was watching him the whole time when I happen to peek at his slippers. And that's when I realized that even though Seunghyun adores his shoes, his feet always finds comfort in his slippers... And that he would always come back to it."_ His face flushed in red. _"Those warm, comfy, battered up feet protectors, were his solace... His home court. And I wouldn't hesitate to be his slippers no matter how much he fancies beautiful shoes."_ He smiled lovingly.  _"I would love to make him feel at ease and be his home court."_ He explicated. 

 _"I made a promise to myself that his happiness will always be my top priority. And that if I do love him that much, I will do anything or even everything to make him happy... Even if I am no longer part of it."_ He beamed at me.

_**Fuck you, Jiyong. How can you tell me not to fucking fall for you?** _

_"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"_ He asked with an arched brow.

I blinked my eyes as I cleared my throat and said...

 _"You want me to stop my feelings for you but you keep on... Making me fall for you."_ I gazed at him intently. _"You know what, fuck it. I'm not going to stop this no matter how much you beg me to... And since there's no way I'm gonna let this end anytime soon... I'm gonna have to fight for this feeling... Do you get me? I will fight for you... With or without your help."_


	19. Cheater's dilemma

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

  
_"Where are we going, baby? What are you up to now, huh?"_ GD asked excitedly.

 _"Stop asking, babe. Be ready in 15 minutes."_ I answered.  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The following weeks were hell. We never really had the time to be together after we made up. There were shows, pictorials, meetings, and even brand endorsement shootings that kept GD and I busy. This world isn't really generous enough to allow us to have some quality moment. Time never seemed to be abundant for us in this dimension. If we were given some, then most of it were spent on our career. So it really was never on our side... Putting most of our together plans into waste.

Last Tuesday, GD's awful mood was _on_ for the entire day. Even Seungri's funny wisecracks never made him laugh nor smile. It was because he had to bail out from our dinner appointment the night before. He got summoned by Sajang-nim to check if he approves of the meet and greet proposal that was planned for the group. It was funny how he tried to excuse himself of the situation... Acting either being worn out or not feeling well. But of course, it was an important task for him as a leader. No matter how much he wanted for our dinner plans to push thru, we both knew that he had to go and that we'll just have to reschedule the dinner plan some other time.

So the following day, that Tuesday, he carried out that bitchy mood with him. _Yes. That's how pissed to the core he was._ He was so annoyed that even a simple joke would result into a pointless bickering with the other members. He kept getting mad at silly issues most especially at Seungri's attempts of making him feel better. Poor maknae! This can't keep on going. I knew I had to make him get a grip of himself. So I asked him to follow me outside of the room.

And as soon as we were out, I said...

 _"Hey, what's wrong?"_ I reached out for his hand.

In fairness to him, he is now letting me touch him without any struggles. He doesn't swat my hands or backs away from me whenever I try to hold out to him. This time, he would either lean onto my touch or hug me whenever it's safe for him to do so.

 _"I'm sorry, babe..."_ He closed in on me _. "I can't believe that I'm still angry about the cancelled dinner."_ He confessed.

 _"I see."_ I invaded his space as I gave him a loose embrace. _"Don't be mad. We'll get to have that dinner one of these days, I promise."_ I smiled at him.

He beamed at me as he sneaked up to my cheeks and gave me a kiss.

 _"Tonight? How about tonight?"_ He suggested.

_"Not tonight, Ji. I have a lot to do at home... Sorting my laundry, checking my..."_

_"But... I want to have dinner with you tonight. Please? Please?"_ He importuned.

I gave him a hooded stare as a smirk appeared on my lips.

 _"You really miss me that much, huh?"_ I asked amorously while caressing his cheeks. _"I'll see what I can do, okay? As soon as I finish my to-do's, I'll call you."_ I gave him a charming smile.

He gave me those puppy eyes as he puckered then finally nods.

I felt sad not being able to please him... So right after we parted ways, I called up that famous revolving restaurant and booked a reservation for two. Aside from that, I stopped by a store to get something for him. I figured that I owe him this convenient life I am having. After all, it was all thanks to him for continuously supporting me as well as guiding me on how to be the famous rapper of this dimension.

Before we even have this... Commitment, he was always there for me even when I don't need anything. He always comes to my rescue whenever there is something that I do not know of. Maybe it was because of how he feels about me but still, I can't just keep a blind eye towards his kindness.

So I'm really hoping that he will like what I'm about to give him.  
_____________________________________________________________________________

 _"Wow! You really knew how to... Make surprises, huh?"_ GD eyed the secluded room that I booked.

 _"Well, I don't break promises..."_ I grinned. _"And... I don't want you to break someone's neck because of your... Uh... Displeasure."_ I sneered.

He slapped my arm and said...

 _"I will surely kick someone's ass if you didn't... Do this anytime soon."_ He played along with my mockery.

We crossed the table and sat opposite each other. We were served with one of the finest wines that I've ever tasted. GD was actually the one who ordered for it as he explains...

 _"This is actually TOP hyung's favorite."_ He beamed at me. _"He was the one who introduced us to wines. I never really thought that I would like them..."_ He looked at me with worried eyes. _"Uh... I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't be talking about... This."_ He looked down at his plate.

 _"It's fine. Don't worry."_ I grinned at him as I took a sip of that exquisite wine. _"Do you... Miss TOP-sshi?"_ I queried.

He stared at me thoughtfully and said...

 _"Uh... Well... I don't... Know."_ His frame looked pensive. _"I... Kinda miss his... Ways. But don't get me wrong, okay? I do love how you treat me. It's just that..."_ He dunked his head as he followed up with, _"There's... Something about him that... Uh... Let's not talk about that, shall we?"_

 _"Something about him that?"_ I pried.

He looked at me sternly and said...

_"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. I am with you now... And I don't want to disrespect you, okay?"_

_"I told you it's fine."_ I gave him a smile. _"Don't worry about it. I won't feel disrespected. I want to know how you feel about him."_

 _"I've already told you about it... Remember? And I am not a fan of repetitions. So forget about it. Let's just talk about something else..."_ He guzzled over the wine on his hand.

One thing I learned about GD is that when the finality in his tone is heard, you can never argue with him on anything.

_"How about you? Do you... Miss... Jiyong?"_

My eyes unexpectedly widens at his sudden prying. I never expected that my question would make a come back like this. And I don't want to answer that because I don't want to cause any inconvenience to GD. Jiyong is a sensitive matter to him. Yet if I don't give him an answer, he would never stop prying until he finally hears what he wants to hear.

If truth be told, Jiyong has been on my mind these past few days. He's been lingering right there despite his doppelganger's presence in front of me. And what's worse is that, it only made me spot and count his dissimilarities with Jiyong. I realized that even though they were identical, he and him are so much different in so many ways. Different... In a surprisingly good way.

GD loves talking... And I love people who challenge my ideas. Jiyong, on the other hand, is a great listener... And I needed that trait to somehow de-stress my whacked up mindset. GD is always the center of attention... But even with his being the focal point, I was always his person of interest. Jiyong, on the contrary, hates being placed in the spotlight... But that characteristic of his only humbles my arrogance. And the most significant one is that GD has a difficulty in expressing his feelings. Maybe because he isn't used to doing this kind of affection towards me. Jiyong, however, never ceases to display his acts of devotion to me... I guess I don't need to explain why.

Having the chance to meet these two people is like experiencing the best of both worlds. Me, having a relationship with both of them, made me realize that these two identical being didn't fail to give out that compelling submission on my end. And that this chanced meeting with GD made me experience Jiyong in a positively contrastive way. I can't believe that the two of them complemented my strengths and weaknesses. But even if GD and I have this mutual understanding, my mind would always remind me that this person is not Jiyong.

_**My Jiyong. My baby. My lover. My partner. And my life. I wonder how he is doing right now...** _

I know I have again involved myself into something unforgivable. I swear. I never really intended for any of this to happen. But who am I to refuse this person in front of me? The guy with his exact same features who did nothing but to shower me with care and kindness. Alright. I am cheating on him... And I have **no** excuse for that. But if I ever get back to him, I will do everything in my power just for him to forgive me.

 _"Baby? Are you... Sleeping?"_ He chuckled at my spacing out.

 _"Uh... Sorry."_ I rubbed the back of my head.

 _"So... Do you... Miss him?"_ He pried.

 _"You already know my answer to that, Ji."_ I couldn't deny.

 _"Right."_ He muttered.

And I felt like an ASS... So I held out my hands to him as I laced both of our hands together.

 _"I'm sorry. Let's not talk about that, shall we? I thought we promised to get to know each other more?"_ I smiled at him.

 _"It's your fault. You started it..."_ He puckered.

 _"I know. I'm sorry, baby."_ I stroked his cheek. _"I promise not to ask about it anymore."_

A waiter appeared in front of us as he served those deliciously, mouth-watering food that we ordered. We splurged our stomach with those superb dishes as we both admired the spectacular view in front of us. He would once in a while look at me or take a picture of me while giving me a mischievous grin. And I couldn't take it anymore so I said...

 _"What's with that sardonic smile, Ji?"_ I tried to get a hold of his phone.

He moved it away from my grasp as he shot me that same smile and said...

_"Nothing, babe... Just taking a picture of you."_

_"Is that so? Then... Can I see it? Can you show it to me?"_ I bend towards the table to peek at his phone.

 _"Well, No. Those were for my eyes only."_ He grinned widely as he hid his phone back to his pocket.

 _"Those?"_ I raised a brow. _"You're not... Uploading those into your social media accounts, are you? Because it will create a massive issue, Ji."_ I said.

 _"Of course not, baby."_ He smiled. _"You, tonight, is for my private viewing only."_ He smirked.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________

After the evening meal, we both decided to have a drink. And because we have to be private, GD suggested to have the session at my villa. Of course, I can't only help but to conform with his demand.

GD let me drive his car this time. Well actually, he most of the time let me do the driving now. He said that in order for us to avoid the quarrels, he'll just let me drive so as not to get scolded. He always drive like a fucking mad man... So for us to stay alive, I offered to be his personal driver just so we can keep living and to somehow bend that stupid and deadly racing habit of his.

The moment we arrived at the villa, he enthusiastically entered the lock code into the door. He went inside like how he used to... Like he owns my place. But anyway, I don't mind. I've always adored his eagerness especially when he gets excited over things.

He immediately made a headway towards the kitchen and grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of TOP's most precious wine... The one inside his collector's cabinet. He popped off that cork and filled out those crystal glasses. He gave me the other goblet as we both proceeded towards the music room.

GD rummaged around TOP's music collections. He was holding his glass wine as he flipped through the compilations in front of him. When he finally selected the music that he liked, he placed the disc over the turntable record player and gave it a go.

**La vie en rose.**

It was Jiyong's favorite song. I suddenly remembered our honeymoon in Paris... How he played that song on repeat as we went up the Eiffel tower. He was smiling the entire time as he took lots and lots of pictures as we ascended that famous tower. Even with his fear of movements, he never put off that beaming smile on his face. And I was in awe as I looked at him. Sometimes I can't believe how this guy can make me fall in love over and over again. So I motioned next to him and held my hand over his just for me to get his attention because whenever he feels excited, he would sometimes forget that I am just right behind him... Seeing the same things as he was seeing. He turned to me as he apologetically smiled. I kissed his cheek as a sign of forgiveness towards his negligence over my presence.

_**God! I can't believe that I miss him this much...** _

_"...Seunghyun?"_ GD broke my trance. _"What are you thinking about? Are you... Perhaps... Thinking about... Jiyong?"_ His eyes looked hurt.

 _"Uh... Sorry."_ I reached for his hand. _"The music made me."_ I excused.

GD marched towards the player as he put the song into an end. He gave me a wounded stare as he said...

 _"You know I can go if you want. You seemed to be lost tonight... And it kinda... Hurts... Seeing you that way."_ He looked down at his feet.

_**Shit! I am so stupid.** _

I marched towards him and canoodled with him. The kiss was hesitant at first... But later on became warlike. Both of us wanted to dominate each other's mouths, which resulted into, muffled moans. We expressed our feelings into kissing that even with the breathlessness; we couldn't stop ourselves from locking our lips together.

GD shot me a steamy eye and laced his hand in mine as he pulled me towards the bedroom. As soon as we were inside, he kissed me fervidly... Like he was trying to convey his longing for me into it. His hands roamed around my top as he starts to undo my shirt buttons. Honestly, I couldn't resist the abuse. It was due to the fact that I miss Jiyong terribly. And this guy in front of me, with Jiyong's face, was burning with desire for me right now.

So when he placed his arms around my neck, that's when I went loose... Because that gesture was my fucking weakness. No matter how much in control of myself I was, I couldn't help but to surrender to my yearning. And fuck! I can't believe that this is happening. This is all too... Much. I am not even sure if GD wanted this or he's just... Sexually aroused at the moment. I am an asshole already for going this far with him... While my mind gets preoccupied by Jiyong's thoughts.

Now please don't misunderstand. I do love GD. I've never loved someone like this apart from Jiyong. Even what I shared with Dongwook couldn't be compared to this. How can I explain this? Shit! This is harder than I thought. So to make things easier, I'm going to use the school level's hierarchy just for emphasis.

Let's start with Jiyong... I'm going to say that he is a college level already. More like he's in a doctorate degree because obviously, I married him. Now with GD... He more of a high school... No! Wait. I think he's a college level too. Not because he is Jiyong's double but because he is my greatest challenge... And like I said, I fucking love getting challenged. So why won't he be when he happens to be the Jiyong of this world? Being with him feels like I'm starting all over again... It wasn't just the inescapable attraction that I have for him but the curiosity of getting involved with a newer version of Jiyong is what really lured me into this set up.

 _"Ji... Wait..."_ I slightly pushed him away from me.

He looked at me with irritation as he asked...

_"What?"_

_"You don't... Want to do this."_ I stated.

 _"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?"_ A slight elevation in his tone was visible.

_"I mean, you... We..."_

_"Right."_ He intervened as he pushed himself up and sat at the end of the bed.

_"Ji... I"_

_"Don’t bother. I don't want to hear it."_ He voiced out.

I grabbed his hand as he slapped it away from him and said...

_"Don't touch me. I know, Seunghyun. I already know that you don't see me as how I want you to see me."_

_"It's not that, Ji. I... I... I just don't want you to regret... About this."_ I cleared out. _"This is something that you aren't even... Used to. Are you even... Ready for... Something like this?"_ I asked.

Despite the darkness of the room, I can still see his resentful eyes as he said...

 _"When I asked for this... This relationship, I've already accepted that I would be breaking most of my goddamned principles... And that includes having... Sex... With you. So I don't think that I'll ever feel... Remorseful if I decided to give myself to you."_ He stared at me with solemnity. _"Now me, being ready for this, wouldn't ever come, Seunghyun. It's just like taking a fucking test... You will never be prepared for it even if you studied your best."_ He justified.

_**And he sounded like Jiyong...** _

I pulled him into my body as he tried to liberate himself out of my arms. We both fell unto the bed so I shifted on top of him to reign over his body. I stared at him in earnest while I caressed his cheeks and slowly reached for his lips. His head kept wriggling sideways, making it hard for me to attain my target. So what I did next not only made him stop from struggling but also earned me a satiated moan from him.

_**Like WOW... They both have the same weak spot.** _

From his cheeks, my lips trailed over his neck... Making him moan again for second time. That made him stop from grappling... So I sucked a portion of his neck creating a love bite. I went back to his ears again and nibbled at his lobes as he cried in pleasure. And it fucking made me feel excited. I don't know if I can take this any longer... So I whispered...

_"Are you really... Sure about this, Ji?"_

He looked at me with pleading eyes and answered...

_"Stop... Teasing, will you? But don't stop... Doing what you're doing... Please... Touch... Me."_

_**And so I did...** _


	20. Iris

 

**TOP's POV**

 

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somewhow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

 

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_When sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

________________________________________________________________________________________________

**October 25, 2015**

_"Babbyy, comme onn.. Dannce wiithh mee."_ Jiyong  garbled.

He woozily walked towards me and grabbed my hand to groove onto that playing music. He drew my now wasted body close to him as he positions his arms at the back of neck. He tipsily smiled and leaned his head right unto my shoulder. 

_**I must be fucking drunk as hell right now to see Jiyong standing this close to me.** _

My arms enclosedhis small frame as we sway into the soft tune lingering in the background. I lowered my gaze to see him smiling with his eyes closed. The sight brought me into a state of fervorthat I couldn't help but to touch his flushed cheeks. His eyes slowly opened as he turned them over to me and said...

_**"Happpyyy anniverssarry, baby."** _

His eyes twinkled in anticipation as he gradually tiptoed his way unto my lips.

But...

His words ceasedmy enchantment. It felt like I just woke up from a nightmare after dreaming of something spectacular. I calmed myself down as I deliberatedbetween pretending to be Seunghyun or to just stayas being me. I was pondering over those thoughts when I realized that Jiyong was just a breath away from my lips. I was already anticipatingthe touch of our lips when life decided to play against my excitement... Because as soon as the music ended, Jiyong recoveredfrom his flirty daze. His orbs were dilated as he said...

_**"Sshhitt! I'm sooo sorrryy."** _

He untangled his arms from my nape and took one step away from me. And because he was already in his intoxicatedself, he forgot about the stool that was loiteringaround at his back. He lost his balance as I automatically extended my arm to help him up. Unfortunately, I happen to be in the same condition as him that the moment I tried to pullhim from his descend,  _I went down with him... On the sofa._

Jiyong's eyes enlargedupon acknowledging the fact that we were in a very awkward position...  _Me, being on top of him._ He tried his best to push me away from him but insteadof getting up, I decided to clingon to him. With a grin on my lips, I seductively said...

 _"Now youdidthat on purpose, didn't you?"_ I teased.

 _"Ffuckk youu. Gettt youurr ass upp, youu drunkk basttard!"_ A blush fired up on his face.

 _"And what are you slurring at... Baby?"_  I caressed his burning cheeks.  _"Aren't you drunk too?"_ I pursed my lips.

 _"Stopp touuchhing mee!"_ He yelled.  _"Andd fucckingg ggett up! Youu'ree heavvy, gooddammnned itt!"_

He continuously struggled under me as I affixedmy body unto his. He stared at me in shock as I grinned at him like a fucking perv.

 _"Gett awaayy froomm mee, youu fucckingg assholle!"_  He relentlessly hit me as he wriggled his confined body out of my grip.

To defendmyself from being battered, I locked both of our hands together... Making his eyes widenfor the 3rdtime. A sudden state of well being surfaced into me that I even found myself surprised at that feeling. So I decided to make the most out of it and whispered into his ear...

_**"I love you."** _

_**Fuck you, TOP. How fucking stupid can you get? This is not the right time to tell him that, you shithole!** _

Of course, Jiyong wouldn't have second thoughts of concluding that it was the alcohol that phrased those three endearing words at the moment.  _And I am so done. I am so fucking sure that I am going to be kicked out of his house... For the second time._

I became too absorbed at that thought that the moment I felt a hand strokingmy face, my body went rigid. My attention finally focused on the person underneath me as I notice that his strugglingfinally came to an end. He looked at me with hazyeyes and said...

_"Ttopp-sshii, cann youu... Cann youu... Givee mee a.. Huggg?"_

My brows hidbeneath my now tousled fringe as I try to unravelwhat he had just said. All of a sudden, the drunkenness vanished... Like all the alcohol that I've consumeda while ago seemed to evaporate in an instant.

_**But wait... What? What did he say? I am not hearing things, right?** _

I knew I heard him correctlybecause the look on his face confirmed it for me. The intensity of his burning cheeks extended up to his ears. He seemed to be nervous as he awaits for my reply. And while he was feeling shaky, I happen to be in a state of blissat the moment... With a mixture of euphoria  _(If those feelings can even be brought together)_ but fuck! The elation that it brought into my being was hardto restrain. I couldn't stop myself from grinning like a fucking mad man.  _It was... Unbelievable._

 _Of course I would love to give him a hug._ Why won't I? I had been dreamingof it ever since I realized that I am in love with this beautiful guy.I would even embrace him all night, if he wants me to. So I slightly shifted my body to carry outhis request but just as I was about to act out onwhat he asked for, he slowly distanced his hand from my face and spoke... 

 _"I'mm sorryy. Pleasse forgett whatt I saiidd."_ He rapidly blinked his eyes to ward off the sleepiness that was obviously creeping up into him. _"Cann youu pleasee gett upp? I thinnk I'vve hadd ennouugh... Annd I'mm kindda sleeppyy._ " He slightly pushed me up. 

_**Don't sleep, yet. I want to hug you... Even cuddle with you for the whole night. Please stay awake for me.** _

_I was desperate..._ And I am fucking yeaning for him.  _I cannot let this moment pass._ So the next thing I knew, I was on his side... Tightly enveloping him into an embrace.

 _Jiyong didn't move._ Instead, he snuggledup to me and returnedthe hug that I was currently giving him. I can feel the erratic beating of his heart... _Coinciding with the pounding inside my chest._ We melted into each other's arms as we both cradled ourselves to sleep.  

_______________________________________________________________________

_**The following day...** _

_"Fucckk! My head feels heavy!"_

I shifted my body to check if I have fullcontrol over it. I fumbled over my side and felt the velvety linen in my hand. My eyes widened as soon as I realized that there was no one beside me on the couch... _I mean, bed?_

_**And what the fuck? This is definitely not my bed. This is not the guest room. This is... Jiyong's fucking bedroom! How the hell did I get here?** _

I sat instantlyupon recognition of the situation and as the sheets slid down from my torso, I felt coldall of a sudden. I peeked at my shiveringbody and that's where I finally noticed that I was notwearing anything... _Except for my boxers._ I stood up despite the dizzinessthat I was feeling and started to look out for Jiyong.

The guy was no wherein sight. I dashed over the fridge to see if he has work today. But **No,**  he doesn't. _So where the hell is he?_ I was about to go to my own room when the main door suddenly opened. 

_"And I don't want the world to see me. Cause I don't think that they'd understand... When everything's made to be broken..."_

His singing halted as soon as he saw me. His eyes looked startledas the blushing on his cheeks became visible. He almost dropped the paper bags that he was carrying the moment he acknowledged my presence. He removed his earphones and said... 

 _"Shit! You scared me!"_ He breathed out.  _"How long have you been up? And can you please put on some... Clothes?"_ His cheeks flushed even more.

I paced towards him and retrieved the bags from his arms. _"Why didn't you wake me up? I could've gone with you to the grocery store."_

He avoidedmy eyes as he marched towards the kitchen and said... 

 _"You don't have to. I can manage."_ He responded.  _"What would you like to eat, by the way?"_

 _"I don't feel like eating, babe."_ I answered.

He looked at me in shock as he replied...

 _"I hope you're not getting the wrong idea of... Why you ended up in my room."_ He turned to face me.  _"We... might've been drunk last night but... Nothing... Happened, oh...kay?"_ He stuttered.

I bridged the remaining space between us as my arms snaked around his tiny hips. He immediately tensed at my action as I said... 

 _"And why is my baby stammering right now? I haven't asked you about anything yet... And you already seem to be defensive."_  I whispered. _"Are you hiding something?"_  I smirked. _"I don't remember going to your room... Even stripping out of my clothes. So can you tell me... How I woke up almost naked in your bed?"_  I asked amorously.

He scooted away from my embrace as he gave me a preoccupied stare and said... 

 _"I... You..."_ His cheeks turned pink. _"I should've not asked you to drink with me last night. You were a fucking vodka in a human body!"_ He announced. _"You were so... Aggressive... I... I thought that you were already sleeping... But... You kept... You kept attempting to kiss me last night!"_  He blushed as he walked out of the kitchen.

I followed him towards the receiving area. He was fixing the magazines under the center table when I neared him and said... 

 _"I'm sorry... I mean, I'm sorry for being pushy."_ I grabbed his hands to stop him from whatever he's doing. _"But... How I wish that I wasn't as drunk as fuck last night. I could've tried harder to score a kiss from you."_ I grinned at him. 

 _"Fuck you. You were fucking annoying last night, did you know that?"_ His brows knitted.

He tried to detach his hands from my grip but I happen to secureit tightly... So our hands remainedintertwined. 

 _"Can you please free my hand? I have to cook, you know..."_ He rolled his eyes. 

 _"Okay. But you have to tell me something first..."_ I smirked. 

He glared at me and retorted... 

_"Don't you even dare to start... I already know what you're about to ask and I don't want to talk about it."_

I smiled widely at his protestas I began with my interrogation...

 _"Did we kiss last night? Have I been successful at my attempts? Even once?"_ I pushed my query.

He wriggled his arms as he gave me a deadlyglare. 

 _"If torturing me is what makes you happy... Then you must be fucking elated right now."_ He tried once more to pull out his hands from my grip.

 _"Just tell me, baby. I wanna know if we kissed last night."_ I urged. 

He shot me a devilish stare as he answered... 

_"Yes, you fucking bastard! You kissed me for I can't fucking count anymore!"_

_**Why? Why can't I fucking remember that? Fuck!** _

He looked down at his feet to hidehis blushing face. I swepthis bangs beneath his ears and leveled on his gaze to get a goodlook at his abashed state. The blush didn't stop from torturing his face so he turned his head on the other side to block me out of that lovely sight.

 _"Aren't you going to... Apologize for what you did last night?"_ He suddenly asked.

 _"I said sorry already, babe. But I'm not gonna say sorry for kissing you."_  I nuzzled onto his cheek. 

He shut his eyes as he tightly fastened his hands onto mine. I pecked his cheek as my lips started trailing towards his ears. I settled on his earlobes... _Smooching it, tracing its outline with my tongue_ , as I softly spoke into his ear.... 

_"I'd really want to kiss you... Please let me kiss you."_

Jiyong moved away from me as he fortitiously detached his hands from mine. But the moment I looked at him, he glared at me againand said...

 _"Stop it. Just fucking stop doing that."_  He yelled.  _"I can't do this. You know I can't do this."_

He was about to walk towards the opposite side of the center table when I grabbed his arm to stop him.

 _"Okay. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I am really so fucking in love with you that I cannot control myself whenever you're near."_ I validated.

 _"I told you to stop... Feeling that way towards me. I can't... I don't... Please stop making me feel this way."_ He begged. 

 _"Stop making you feel what, Ji? Why can't you just let me fucking love you? Am I that hard to love, huh? I am doing my best, Jiyong. Why can't you see that? Why can't you let me in?"_ I tried to keep my composure. 

 _"You are not difficult to love, TOP-sshi! That's why I'm begging you... Stop doing this to me. I am fucking guilty as hell already... And I... I fucking broke... My promise."_ His eyes welled up in tears. 

_**Why the fuck is he crying?** _

_"What's wrong, Ji? Did I hurt you? Why are you crying? Please... Stop crying."_ I pulled him to an embrace. " _And what do you mean by that? What promise did you break?"_  I asked.

He cuddled up to me as he sobbed. I soothed his back to calm him down. He kept crying for the next 10 minutes and it made me contemplate about anypossible reasons of why he was crying like that. _What the fuck happened? I know I get crazy whenever alcohol's involved. But up to what extent was my stupidity last night? What the hell did I do? Did I scare him? Did I insult him again? Did I hurt him? I know we kissed but he doesn't seem mad about it..._

_**Wait a fucking minute... Did we...** _

And that's where I finally ended up on something concrete... _Something that my mind kept playing for a while now... Something I was beginning to think wasn't a dream._

_"Jiyong, you didn't answer my question..."_

I felt nervous and anxious at the same time as I proceeded to ask him.

 _"How did I end up in your room? And why was I almost... Naked when I woke up?"_  I questioned for the second time.

He stopped crying. He deeply breathed. And he glanced up to me with his misty eyes as he answered...

 _"I... I lied, TOP-sshi. We... Something... Happened last.. Night."_  He muttered. 

 _"What do you mean, Ji? What happened?"_

My heart was booming in my chest that I suddenly felt a difficultyin breathing. 

_**Oh God! Why did I fucking drink too much last night?** _

Jiyong backed away from me as he looked at me with caution. 

 _"We... We almost... Fucked last night."_ He looked away from me with his flushed face. _" I tried... I really tried my best... To stop you from your aggression. But I was already weak... Not only from the alcohol... But also from holding back the... Feelings that I... Have for you."_ His eyes filled up with tears. _"I am scared... I know I shouldn't be feeling this way... I am fucking married. I have no right to feel this."_ He cried. _"And as much as I wanted to blame you for continuously pressing this... Feeling, I couldn't blame you. This is my fault... This is all on me."_ He cried harder.

His declaration stunnedme to the core that I found myselt rooted on the spot. I don't fucking know how to feel about this. It wasn't about the fact that we almost, as he said,had sex last night... Because the truth is, it doesn't really concern me anymore. I would be a hypocrite not to admit that I've never thought about getting intimate with him...It was what I've always wished for in this world... _To make him love me and to even... Make love to him._

What made me frozen was the thought that Jiyong allowed the intimacy. _Okay. We were fucking drunk._ Maybe he consented it because he feelssomething for me... 

_**Wait. What? Fuck, he does? Oh shit! He just said it a while ago, right? That he... Feels... Something for me! Fucking shit!** _

_But isn't it too early for us to... Do something like... That?_ I mean, Jiyong wouldn't just allow things to happen. I might've been really pushywith my naughty provocations last night but his firmjudgments would always make him stop from acting foolish and would unfailingly reason out with him. And that made me really curious... So I inquired insolently... 

 _"What... I mean, how... Almost did... We get intimate last night?"_ I asked as I moved away to check on his reaction.

I've never seen Jiyong blushed that hard before. There was no way for him to concealhis red face no matter how much he tucked it away. His cheeks are burning... And he seemed like... _Glowing?_

_**What the fuck really took place last night?** _

_"Are you... Do you... Really have to know?"_ His ears inflamed.

 _"I... Well... I wish I could remember everything that happened last night. I have some... Recollections... About it. But I'm not sure if it was just my mind, fucking around with me."_ I drew in a lungful of air.

He looked down at his feet and inhaled deeply. 

 _"Oh...Kay. But... This is... So embarrassing. Shit!"_ He nervously spat.  _"Let's just say that... You... Uh... Fuck! This is so awkward!"_ He grumbled.

I can't help but to smileat his complaints. So to make things easier, I said... 

 _"Alright, babe. Let's forget about the details."_ I grinned.  _"What I actually want to know is... Did I somehow make you feel... Good?"_  I smiled timidly. _"I mean, I... I have... I have no experience with... With men..."_

Jiyong can now be comparedto a ripe tomato. He is so fucking red at the moment... _Which only made me find him really adorable._

 _"I... Uh... I mean... Ye..ah."_ He blushed furiously as he confessed. _"You... Did... And Shit! Let's stop talking... About this."_ He again blushed for the nth time around. 

 _I am so fucking relieved._ And I am so glad to hear that I actually made him feel good. Although I really wish that I have full recollections of every single detail that happened last night... Well, it doesn't matter anymore. _The fact that he let me touch him not just only enraptured me but also made me feel... Special._

What's more important is that Jiyong finally opened up to me... _That he does feel something for me._ I am already contented with that. And I wouldn'task for anything more.

So I walked towards him and pulledhim in. He unflinchingly squeezedme into his body as I nuzzled up onto his hair and said... 

_"So... Are we..."_

And before I can even finishmy sentence, he interrupted by kissingme... **Passionately.**


	21. Say you'll stay

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

I used to sing a song to Jiyong every morning. Whenever I opened my eyes, it was his beautiful smile that always started my day. And that song is the perfect description of how I feel about that killer smile of his. It's just too accurate... Like I was the freaking songwriter of that James Taylor's song.

But the morning after I made love with his doppelganger, I found myself humming that tune. It was because GD has that blissful smile on his lips that made me want to kiss him some more. This time, I knew that it was different... More like it was meant for him... For GD, I mean. And as much as it freaked me out, it kept me very much encaptivated. I can't help it... It was too powerful to defy.

As he opened his eyes and gazed into me, he gave me a peck on the lips and said... 

_"Good morning, Love."_

I raised my brow in confusion and replied... 

_"Love? We call each other love now?"_

He laughed mildly and gave me another kiss.

 _"Well... I don't want us to use baby anymore. I am not Jiyong... And baby reminds you of him."_ He pouted. 

_**Well, yeah it does... So I guess it's a good a idea then.** _

After such realizations, I cuddled with him... Gave him a kiss, and whispered...

_"It's perfect love..."_

He smiled and pulled away from me. He sat unhurriedly as the sheet fell down from his upper body. He turned to me and asked...

_"Anything you'd want to eat?"_

I grinned and answered...

_"Uhh... You?"_

He blushed furiously and gave me a light punch on the chest.

 _"I didn't know that you're that... Perverted."_ He smirked. 

I ensconced myself to his sitting level as my hand enveloped him to an embrace. I kissed his temple and answered him back with...

_"Well, that's one thing you should keep in mind... From now on."_

His cheeks flared up once more as he gave me a serious look.

 _"Now that's... Scary."_ He chortled. _"But seriously... What do you want to eat? I'll try making one for both of us... And please don't ask for anything complicated... Or else, it's not just your kitchen I might burn... But the whole house too."_ He laughed.

And I laughed with him. I moved towards the end of the bed and held out my hand to him. He again blushed the moment I stood in front of him. I stared at him curiously when I realized that I was stark naked... And that he was ogling at my exposed body. I suddenly felt embarrassed. So I searched for my boxers to which I have no idea where I threw last night. GD was now laughing at my panic state. He cleared his throat and said...

_"Looking for this?"_

My boxers were now swinging back and forth on his hand. And as I motioned to snatch it out of him, he played against me. I wrestled with him to win that damned underpants as he convulsed into laughter. We were having a moment when a phone ring stopped us from our frolicking. It was actually GD's ringtone that halted us from playing around. He lazily grabbed his phone as he stared at it with an arched brow.

_"Now what?"_

I looked at him in bafflement and closed in on him. I peeked at his ringing phone and found out that it was Taeyang who was the culprit to this nuisance call. I smiled gently and said...

 _"What's wrong? It's just Taeyang, babe... I mean, Love."_ I sneered. _"Sorry. Give me time to get familiarized with it, okay?"_ I gave him a rueful smile. _"Is there something wrong with answering Taeyang's call, my love?"_ I said ardently.

He puckered and responded...

 _"Nothing... It's just that... He's so perfect timing right now..."_ A sarcasm on the perfect word. _"And it's fucking annoying to be called up at this moment... It's ruining my ecstatic mood."_

I sniggered at his resentment. So I plucked the phone out of his hand and answered the call for him.

_"Hey, Taeyang. What's up?"_

GD's eyes broaden at my intrusion. He tried to seize his phone from my hand as I stood up and moved away from his attempts.

 _"Yeah... He's with me. We're here at the villa."_ I leered at his shocked face. _"Yeah... Sure. You can come here. He said he'll cook some breakfast, right love?"_ Again, his eyes triple in size. _"So get your ass out here and have breakfast with us."_

He walked promptly to where I was and captured his phone from my grip. He glared at me with tinted cheeks and spoke in a whispered manner...

_"You're an ass."_

I smirked. He was about to turn around when I grabbed his arm and kissed him tenderly. With an exaggerated simper, he deliberately withdrew himself from my assault and caressed my face. His lips formed the words _"Be right back, love"_ and went back to answer his caller.

I went to the bathroom, took my shower and brushed my teeth. I got out and ambled at the nearby walk-in closet. I noticed that GD was no longer in the room so I dried myself up quickly. Since I can't afford to be looking all embarrassed just like what happened a while ago because of being naked, I hastily put on my clothes and walked towards the dresser to brush my now half blonde half black hair. _These freaking black roots are awful. Maybe I should just dye my hair black? I should ask GD's help with that later._

I was about to get out of the bedroom when I saw a medium sized sealed paper bag with a tiny card dangling around its brown ribbon.

_**Oh shit! I forgot about this already! I'm going to give this to him later.** _

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
 _Tonight, I've waited for tonight_  
I've waited all my life to be here where we are  
With you here in my arms  
I can't believe how you shine  
  
Is this moment really mine?  
Could you love, like I love you?  
Say you can and say you do  
  
GD sang. But then...

 _"Fuck this shit! How can cooking be this fucking time consuming when you eat it in just a matter of shitty minutes?"_ He was literally talking to himself.

_**One moment he was this adorable guy with a beautiful smile on his face but wait 'till you hear him utter those brutal and sickening curses... Surely, it would make your head turn 360** _ **°** _**on him.** _

I was leaning at the bedroom's door while laughing in secret at his arguments with the ingredients as well as the kitchen wares. Oh and that pink apron looked really really cute on him, by the way.

He was too absorbed with his bickering that when I snaked my arms around his hips, he dropped the pan and singed his right point finger.

 _"Fuuuckkk!"_ He shrieked with pain.

 _"Shit! I'm sooo sorry..."_ I took a hold of his aching digit and kissed it. _"I'm really sorry, my love."_ I gave him a guilt-ridden look. _"Come... Let me treat that burn."_

I fastened my hand unto his and directed him towards the living room. I paced towards the bathroom and drew out that first aid kit from the cabinet and came back to where the injured guy was. I rummaged through that medical container and searched for a burn ointment. As soon as I found the treatment cream, I placed an ample amount of it into a cotton bud. I dabbed it to his charred finger and said...

 _"We'll have to put this ointment 3-4 times a day for the next few days. It will scar but don't worry... There is nothing science can't do."_ I smiled at him. _"I'll get you some topical gels to reduce the inflammation and some antibacterial to stop the possible infection from a wound that may or may not come up after the swelling. It's just for prevention purposes... But we'll still apply it, just in case."_

I had a feeling that I needed to justify what I was doing so I slowly turned my head to his location to check if he was listening to what I've just said. And to my surprise... There it was... That same prepossessing smile was gently worming out of his lips. He stroke my cheek and said...

 _"I am really happy that you're here."_ He tittered. _"Good thing that you are actually a medical ally... Or else I would've exaggerated this tiny burn and call up my manager to get me to a freaking hospital."_

I chuckled at his utterance and flattery. He was just about to kiss me when the doorbell rang. He sighed loudly as he walked towards the main door. I went back to the kitchen to see if there's anything that can be fixed from GD's kitchen fiasco. _And he was right. I should've never allowed him to make our breakfast._

While I was fetching some eggs and bacon from the fridge, the visitors unhesitatingly entered the cook room.

 _"What a disaster!"_ Taeyang pronounced.

 _"TOP hyung! You should know better. GD-hyung's a failure when it comes to cooking."_ Seungri divulged.

GD hit Seungri's arm and gave him a hostile glare.

 _"Why the fuck are they here? I thought it's just you, Youngbae?"_ He was looking back and forth at Daesung and Seungri.

 _"Now... Now, GD-hyung. Don't be mean. I didn't say anything."_ Daesung, in his defensive mode.

 _"Hyung said that we'll have breakfast together... As if I could shoo these guys away..."_ Taeyang rolled his eyes.

_"But... But Youngbae hyung said that we should come and see for ourselves that you spent the night with TOP hyung that's why you're..."_

Taeyang instantaneously covered Seungri's mouth to stop him from his confession. He scowled at him and gradually pivoted his head unto GD's spot.

The mentioned guy was all scarlet... Like he was about to combust in flames if no one dares to revive him from his comatose state. So I neared the paralyzed GD and gently inched his face. I pecked him on the cheek as the others stared at us in astonishment. I turned to them, gave them a reassuring smile and said...

 _"Well, you're not supposed to see that."_ I chuckled. _"Also, can you please stop ganging up on my visitor here? You're not forgetting that you are inside my house, are you? If you don't want me to kick you out of here, then don't make **my love** feel uncomfortable."_

I wish you could see them right now as they stood there immobilized upon my action... And my statement. Their eyes were expanded, _Seungri's hand was on his mouth, Taeyang... Giving off that icy glare, and Daesung's straight line eyes were blinking rapidly._ It was freaking amusing. I lowered my head and laughed mildly at their surprised reactions. And while I was trying to suppress that hard to contain laughter, GD's hand suddenly maneuvers into my arm which immediately stopped my snickering. I looked at him in wonder and said...

_"What's that for, my love?"_

GD half glared at me and replied...

_"Seunghyun, stop it."_

_"Seunghyun?"_ Taeyang asked. _"You're on a first name basis now?"_

GD once again blushed.

 _"TOP hyung, can you please stop messing with our minds? It's still early to flirt with GD-hyung... And we might actually believe your teasing."_ Daesung commented.

 _"Well, I am teasing him... But I am not messing with you."_ I smiled.

_**Again with that freaking widening of their eyes.** _

_"Seriously hyung, if you don't stop, I am going to believe that you and GD hyung are together now."_ Seungri stated.

_**That's it** _

I laced my hand unto GD and said...

_"Actually... We are."_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
 _ **That night...**_

 _"You're such an idiot!"_ GD said irritably.

My brows drew together.

 _"What did I do, my love?"_ I closed in on him.

 _"You didn't have to do that, Seunghyun. You should've just dismissed their prying."_ He sounded annoyed.

 _"You don't want them to know?"_ I asked. _"It's actually pretty obvious already, love. It's not that we can keep this a secret from them... Or do you want this to be a secret?"_

He pouted.

 _"No. Of course not. It's just that... I... Wish I was the one who... Had the balls to tell them."_ He sighed. _"Seungri and Dae seemed... Okay with it. But..."_ He hung his words. _"Youngbae... He was really pissed that... I didn't tell him."_

In this dimension, Youngbae was GD's best friend. And like Taeyang and I, they were also inseparable. They were like brothers from another mother. So I perfectly understand where GD is coming from right now.

I sat beside him, clutched his hand and said...

_"I'm really sorry, love. I'll talk to him about this."_

_"It's fine."_ He smiled. _"I should be the one to talk to him or he'll get more pissed if you go and do it for me... Again."_ He lowered his eyes.

 _"Do you want me to come with you?"_ I offered.

 _"I'm good. Thank you..."_ He politely declined. _"I can do this."_

I gave him a kiss and hugged him securely. But then I happen to spot the coffee-colored paper bag peeking at the dresser... The one I was meaning to give to him. I slowly pulled away from his embrace and walked towards the vanity table. I carefully took out the gift and handed it over to him. He smiled immensely as he unwrapped the bag... A small sophisticated black box was settling at the bottom of it. But before he decided to unseal the package, he directed his attention to the hanging card and read it.

_Dear GD-sshi,_

_They say time is the most valuable gift that you can ever give to someone for you cannot take it back. This is my way of expressing my heartfelt gratitude for giving me yours. I do hope that I didn't put it into waste, though. :) So thank you, really... For everything that you've done for me._

_Always remember that whatever happens today, tomorrow, and in the future... What we have is real. And that I am always giving you every piece of my heart... Every single waking day in this world of yours._

_I love you._

_Seunghyun_

By the time that he finished reading my message, tears were already pouring out of his eyes. So I trapped his face into my palms and wiped those tears on his cheeks. I gave him a soft smile and said...

_"Please stop crying, my love."_

He cried even harder and hugged me as tight as he could. I returned his embrace as he whispered softly into my ears...

 _"I love you. I fucking love you, Seunghyun. I will never let you go so please... Don't either."_ He nuzzled unto my neck and continued, _"Stay with me... Stay here with me, Seunghyun. I don't care anymore if I'm being selfish. But please... Don't ever go."_

I mildly laughed at his request but I never removed my arms around him.

 _"Where do you suppose, I'd go? There's no other place I would want to go to than here by your side, love."_ I said while clearing out the tears on his cheeks.

 _"You came here in a instant... And I'm afraid that you'll leave in that same manner."_ He looked at me with sad eyes. _"Every day I pray that it would still be you that I'm going to be waking up with. Yes. I am as selfish as that. But... I don't want you to leave. Please stay here in my world."_

 _"I'll be here as long as the Gods allow me to. And I will never leave you as long as I'm here, okay? So stop crying, please?"_ I kissed his cheek. _"Now go on... Open my gift."_ I urged.

_**It was a Van Cleef watch... The midnight planetarium edition.** _

_"Someone would kill me if he discovers that there's a large amount of money missing on his bank account..."_

I laughed loudly while GD examines the precious time piece on his hand. I constructed my words and spoke in a hesitant manner...

_"Someone... Told me that..."_

_"You mean, Jiyong?"_ He intervened.

I scratched the back of my head and gave him a shy smile.

 _"Please don't be mad, my love. Hear me out first, please?"_ I begged

 I cross cleared my throat and proceeded with my explanation... 

 _"I am hoping that the idea of a universe in your wrist will never make you think that you are alone in this world. Your family is there as well as Bigbang... Your friends are there to fight with you through hardships, there are also the fans who never failed to show you their support, and... You have me and TOP-sshi."_ I stroke his cheeks. _"I must say that it's pretty amazing how he never looked at you like how I see you."_

His cheeks flustered.

 _"Actually, there were times that I saw him in you. You and him actually flirts the same."_ He laughed. _"But what I don't understand is how he... Anticipatingly stares into my eyes the same way that you do whenever I tease him or say words of affection to him."_

 _"He does, huh?"_ I grinned. _"Well then... If there's a bit of his personality in me, I am positive that he likes you too. Take it from me, love."_

Again he blushed.

 _"No... I... Don't... Think so."_ His face was still burning. _"For the longest time that I've known him, he isn't the type to involve himself to something like... This."_

 _"People change, love. We never really stay the same no matter how much we wanted to."_ I beamed at him.

He laughed hard and said...

 _"Hyung's not a human, Seunghyun. He's a fucking alien! I am pretty damn sure that his straight preference wouldn't just crumble down just because of someone like me."_ He sniggered.

 _"Now where's the confidence in you? Why do you belittle yourself like that? You are freaking awesome, love. And I'm positive that most people would agree to that... Even TOP-sshi would attest to that."_ I remarked as my fingers brushed unto his cheeks.

 _"You are flattering me too much, love."_ He kissed my lips gently. _"But... I don't want to dwell on that anymore. 'Cause if what you say is true, then I'm gonna make him pay a thousand fold for making me believe that it was a one sided love."_

We laughed loudly at his silly rants. I was the first to repress my laughter and the moment that he finally stopped, I slowly neared his face and swept my lips unto his. He captured it and locked our lips together until asphyxiation came up. He was in full daze as he smiled against my lips and said...

 _"You're always welcome, my love."_ He pinched my cheeks. _"There's no way I would regret the things I did for you. I love you. And I will never stop doing so."_

We ended up canoodling and making love again for the rest of the night. It was, by far, the best night I've ever had in this dimension. Being TOP as well as GD's partner not only made my stay really worthwhile but also served as an eye opener on my end. Worthwhile, because of the fame _(which I never had in my world)_ that I got to experience and an eye opener, due to the fact that there were extraordinary occurrences like this in the world that we live in.

I was a fool not to believe Jiyong. He's actually a believer of these kinds of supernatural phenomenon. The universe always fascinates him. And I find it really weird that he kept reading about those shits whenever he had the chance. He would often tell me that there's more to life that we actually know of... And that there are things that even Science can't explain. No matter how interesting those articles were, Jiyong only believes in one thing... _Whatever shit they write about the about the cosmos, it will always correspond to whatever you are destined to do and whoever you are meant to be._

And from someone who has the privilege of living through it, I can say that the world really is full of obscurity... The humans only added up to its mystery as well as nature. I realized that the world may be substantial but there's a whole diversity of it from other dimensions... With a life of its own. I may have an undemanding lifestyle from my world but in here, I am someone with a more complex road trip to journey on while having the same devotion from the other version of the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with.

I was cuddling with GD when a rare universal phenomenon happened. A celestial entity was magnificently illuminating the night sky. I motioned to wake the man beside me to witness this beautiful event but his over the moon sleeping expression made me stop from doing so.

As much as I wanted to watch the visiting fireball, my eyes couldn't help but to get glued on GD's face... _The face that made me commit adultery._  Haha! Kidding aside, he was the most difficult test that I had ever encountered... Even harder than those licensure exams that I took. But that only made me love him... Maybe not as much as I love Jiyong but enough to be my very own gratifying sacrifice. 

 _"Sleep soundly, my love."_ I kissed his forehead. _"See you tomorrow."_

 


	22. Head over heels

**TOP's POV**

 

 _"So how was it this year, Jiyong-sshi?"_ Minho teased.  

 _"I'm sorry? What do you mean, Minho-sshi?"_ Jiyong's cheeks reddened as he looked at both the teaser and I.

And I fucking glared at Minho for his ridiculous question. I held Jiyong's hand into mine and said... 

_"It's nothing, baby. Don't mind the idiot."_

_"But... We are dying to know, Jiyong. Tell us how it happened... Seunghyun's suprise, I mean?"_ Daesung, in his pretending-to-be-interested mode.

Everybody stared at Jiyong, who was now blushing furiously being the center of everyone's attention. He looked down at his feet, tightly gripping his hands as he said...

_"He... Uhh... He..."_

_"Go fuck yourself, Daesung! Same goes for you, Minho!"_ I yelled at his abusers. _"Fucking stop it with your stupid interrogation, you imbeciles! I am going to get you for this! I swear I will!"_

I neared the chagrined Jiyong and swept his fringe behind his ears. And as I peeked at his face, his cheeks were all flustered so I gently drew his chin up and gave him a peck on the lips.

 _"They're a bunch of retards, baby. Just ignore them."_ I kissed his forehead. 

I swiveled my attention to those bastards and said... 

_"Now stop it with your prying, will you? Stop tormenting my baby."_

_**Yes. I am now that protective of Jiyong.** _

He looked at me as a smile crept onto his lips. His fingers brushed my cheek as he uttered...

 _"It's fine, babe. It's not something new anymore. It's been going on for years now. What I meant was... They had been betting on it ever since we got together."_ He sniggered.

But then he slowly curved his hand into my ear and whispered...

 _"Actually... I... I don't... Know how to... Answer that."_ He blushed again for the third time, _I think?_

_**Too adorable. Too cute.** _

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. Then I murmured...

 _"I wish I could answer it for you, babe. But you know how fucking drunk I was last night, right? Everything was still a puzzle to me."_ I laughed mildly. _"Up to now, I am still putting up the pieces together. I want to remember to everything that happened. It's too fucking precious to be forgotten."_ I kissed him on the cheek.

Jiyong blushed harder than he ever did. He was really cute being all red and embarrassed like that. I held him tighter as he stifled at my action. I gotta say that he's still not used to how close we are now but I am glad that he doesn't curse me anymore nor countered my ways of affection to him like before.

I was at a lost with our moment when Taeyang decided to interfere with our sweet-talk. 

 _"Damn, Seunghyun! It's been a while since you were this showy to Jiyong."_ Taeyang commended.

 _"I gotta admit that we missed seeing you guys being all lovey-dovey with each other..."_ Minho chuckled. 

_"Jiyong-sshi... Please tell us what Seung..."_

_"Goddamned you, Daesung! What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ I scowled at him.

My three best friends laughed at my displeasure. Even Jiyong was chortling at my vexing. And as soon as the silence came up, Jiyong smiled widely and said...

_"Daesung-sshi, who did you place your money for by the way?"_

All of us looked at him with interest. But then Daesung grinned at him and answered...

_"Kwon Jiyong-sshi, of course."_

_**Now where the hell is this shithead's loyalty?** _

_"Why thank you for the support, you scumbag! Are you really my best friend, Dae? You didn't fucking vote for me?"_ I gave him a light punch on the arm.

Again, all of them laughed.

 _"So that's your basis of how and what a best friend must be, huh? How facile of you, Seunghyun!"_ Taeyang rolled his eyes.

 _"Did you fucking hear what he said? He didn't choose me!"_ I retorted.

 _"Well, I am just protecting my money. I don't see anything wrong with that..."_ Daesung responded nonchalantly.

_"Why you..."_

Suddenly, Jiyong interrupted my rage by lacing his hand into mine. He made me direct my full attention to him as he said... 

 _"Baby, stop being silly."_ He chuckled. _"Oh and Daesung-sshi..."_ He smiled widely. _"I'm afraid that you... Lost this year. He gave me one of the best surprises that he ever did. I was even surprised... With how I... Reacted towards it."_ He blushed.

The room was now in ruckus from the laughter that emerged from our audience. Taeyang and Minho were giving each other high fives while Daesung, with a hideous look on his face, pulled out his wallet and separated his ready money into two equally divided parts. But when Daesung handed out the other half of the price money to my bestest goddamned friend, Taeyang... It fucking irritated me to the core. I looked at the two assholes and saw Minho grinning deviously while the other bastard was counting his winnings.  

_**They had the fucking nerve to show those stupid faces in front of me!? They are the worse human beings of this dimension!** _

_"And here I thought that it was just these two assholes who were doing the gambling... Well... Fuck you, Dong Youngbae! How dare you question my standards on how a fucking best friend should be when you yourself shouldn't even be considered as one, you fucking dipshit!"_ I yelled. 

 _"Sorry, man. I had a change of heart."_ He laughed rambunctiously. _"I figured this year would be different. I've noticed that there's a weird air going on between the two of you... So I joined the club... But I voted for you."_ He proudly beamed at me. _"So why the hell are you getting mad, Seunghyun? I fucking placed a huge amount of cash on you. I supported you. I voted for you. Where the hell is your sense of gratitude, you fucking douche!"_ He glared at me. _"But I gotta thank you for winning though. You see... My investment doubled."_ He beamed widely. _"I was sure that you'll prepare something exceptional for Jiyong during this year's anniversary of yours."_

I glowered at the three laughing bastards. _How on earth did I become best friends with these idiots, anyway?_ I was about to make a litany of curses when I heard Jiyong's laughter vibrating across the room. It immediately smoothened my wrinkling face from irritation. 

 _"You know what Taeyang-sshi, you should share your winnings with us..."_ He laughed even harder. 

 _"Damn, Ji! How cculd you lose? How the hell did this weirdo make a loser out of you? You always win this competition. But wait a minute..."_ He neared Jiyong. _"Did YB and Minho made you do this? Did they promise you something just to tell me that I fucking lost? Tell me honestly, Ji... You did win, right?"_ His brows wiggled up and down while closing in on Jiyong. 

 _"Yah! Kand Daesung! That's the nearest that you are allowed to! If you come a little close, I'm gonna whack that head of yours!"_ I lashed out on him.

 _"Choi Seunghyun! Since when did you become... Possessive like that? You're being fucking unreasonable, did you know that?"_ Taeyang reprimanded _._ _"Now look at your husband, Jiyong. Are you still sure about spending the rest of your life with this brutal man?"_ He mocked.

 _"Fuck you, man! Stop dragging him into this."_ I retaliated. 

 _"Seungri's going to kill me, goddamn it! He'll fucking kill me!"_  Daesung abruptly announced. 

 _"And why would I kill you, babe? You didn't just contact your EX foreigner lover, did you?"_ Seungri suddenly appeared and countered Daesung's ranting.

 _"Oofccoursee not, baby. I wouldn't even dare."_ Daesung nervously replied. 

All of us roared with laughter as Daesung tried to persuade Seungri out of his disgruntlement. It was an amusing sight... _The happy faces, the animated laughter, and the contentment that materializes into our being._

I advanced towards Jiyong and nuzzled up to him. He was tensed at first but relaxes after a minute. I took a hold of his hand and twined it with mine. Then I whispered...

_"Baby, let's get out of here. I want to have you for myself."_

He gave me a curious stare and answered...

_"I don't... Like the sound of that."_

We giggled at our little conversation as I stood up and announced to the group...

 _"Okay... We're leaving."_ I pulled him up and continued, _"We'll see you tomorrow."_

The men hooted with glee as Minho threw me a pillow which I caught instantly. I tossed it back at him, smiled at the rest of them, and said...

_"Let us have our moment. Or do you... Want to see us getting... Intimate in front of you?"_

_"Get the fuck out of here!"_ Taeyang sneered as he attempted to pitch another throw pillow into my location.

 _"I better get my own Jiyong to canoodle with the next time we're together."_ Minho announced. _"I am really fucking envious right now."_ He pouted.

 _"Screw the fucking playboy in you, Minho!"_ Taeyang annoyingly opposed. _"If you ever find someone to play with, don't you dare come to my house."_ He threatened.

Once again, there was an uproarious laughter from the crowd. We bid our goodbyes to everyone in the room. I saw Jiyong gave Seungri a hug while whispering something to his ear. The guy smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek.

 _"_ _What the hel_ _l was the kiss for?"_ I called out to Seungri. 

 _"And what the hell is wrong with hyung?"_ Seungri asked in reply to my query.

Jiyong chuckled and paced towards me. He gave me a kiss on the lips and said... 

_"That's how we usually greet each other so stop being silly, babe."_

_"Jiyong-ah, maybe we should gr..."_

_"Fuck you, Minho. Don't you even dare..."_ I looked at him threateningly.

Another laughter surfaced throughout the crowd. I wonder why they kept ticking off my nerves this day.

 _"I'm sorry, guys. My baby's a little agitated today... I wonder why?"_ Jiyong's point finger was now on his tilted lips, pretending to be thinking.

I sauntered next to him, grabbed his finger away from his lips, and kissed him. I fucking couldn't help it. Jiyong, being adorable like that is really... A tempting sight. And as we were about to get engrossed by the kisses, a pillow suddenly flew it's way to our spot crashing into Jiyong and I's heads.

 _"Who fucking threw that goddamned pillow, huh?"_ I angrily asked.

The guys were looking all innocent... Like nothing just happened. And it fucking angered me all the more because my curses as well as my deadly glare didn't seem to affect these fucking bastards. I was about to give them what they asked for when Jiyong laughed resonantly. He bowed at our viewers, grinned like a cheshire cat, and said... 

_"That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed the show. Thank you for having us here."_

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**While driving...** _

_"Why do you seem so... Infuriated today? Is there something... Wrong?"_ Jiyong asked.

I glanced at his worried face and immediately turned my attention back on the road. Oh right... I forgot to mention that I am doing the driving now... But definitely not that monster of his truck. I asked Jiyong's permission to use Seunghyun's car... His elegant black convertible car. I figured it would be easier to drive the sedan rather than his pick up. And this time, I am decided to do my role of being Jiyong's husband.

 _"Infuriated? I am not, baby."_ I defended. _"Those assholes just keep getting on my nerves."_

He chortled.

 _"You better get used to it, babe. If you don't, they won't stop teasing you... I tell you."_ He laughed some more.

But when his sniggering halted, he looked at me and said...

 _"Are you... Really that... Possessive, TOP-sshi?"_ A blush slowly appeared on his face. _"I... I mean... Are you that protective?"_

He was now blushing furiously. And just as the red light came into view, I fastened my hand into his and replied...

_"I think I am. I don't really remember anymore. It's been so long since... I fell in love with someone like this."_

His blushing was now moving up to his ears.

 _"In my world, I am a public figure. A simple action always becomes a big deal to everyone. So whenever I commit myself to someone, my guard just automatically comes up. It has always been my way of protecting someone that I care about. I... Don't want them to be burdened just because of the fame. I was scared that... If everything gets... Too much, they'll... Leave me."_ I lowered my head.

Jiyong squeezed my hand.

 _"I understand..."_ He stroke my cheek. _"That must be really hard on you... You are a tough cookie to handle something as difficult as that... I can't endure that kind of torture."_ He gave me a shy smile. _"I like hugging... Holding hands... Cuddling... And kis..sing."_ His cheeks burned.

Just as I was about to invade his space, horns began blaring behind us. I instantly shifted the gear from neutral to drive as the auto began to cross the intersection.

 _"Those fuckers! Don't they know how to fucking wait?"_ I said while maneuvering the steering wheel to the left.

Jiyong chuckled at my dismay.

 _"They were just trying to... Make you focus on your driving, babe."_ He teased.

 _"Is that so?"_ I replied while stepping on the gas pedal to its floor.

 _"Hey... Drive carefully."_ He checked on his seatbelt. _"We are not in a race, TOP-sshi. Please slow down."_

 _"You don't trust my driving skills, baby?"_ I asked while switching lanes in a swift manner.

 _"TOP-sshi! Slow down! I don't want to die yet... Not at this moment."_ His hands gripping on his seat.

 _"Not at this moment?"_ I repeated.

_"Shit... Slowww down! The yellow light is..."_

And we made it to the other side.

Jiyong was breathing heavily as I continue to drive along the street. As soon as his anxiety went down, he slapped my arm, shifted his body to a more comfortable position and said...

_"Fuck! Don't you ever do that again!"_

I laughed at his panicked state.

_"Sorry, babe. But wait... You didn't answer my question."_

_"What question?"_ He asked while fixing his unkempt checkered polo.

 _"You said you don't want to die at this moment..."_ I stressed on the last part of my sentence.

 _"Seriously? That is a question?"_ He chortled. " _Who would even want to die, TOP-sshi? I bet you wouldn't even dream of it."_ He smiled. _"Of course I don't want to die right now or anytime soon. Today is one of the best times I've ever had with you. And I am looking forward to a whole lot more. So please don't kill me tonight."_ He tried to suppress his laughter.

_**I swear. He will be the death of me.** _

_"So... Last night... Wasn't your best time... With me?"_ I teased.

He suddenly choked at my statement.

 _"God! Can you please stop... Teasing me?"_ He blushed frenziedly. _"I said... One of the best times, right? Today is one of it... Even without... Intimacy."_ He justified with an uncontrollable blushing cheeks.

_**How can he be so fucking adorable and tempting at the same time?** _

_"Please stop being cute like that, baby. Or I will park this shit right in the middle of this road and kiss you until I'm breathless and satisfied."_

Jiyong looked at me in shock and laughed loudly at my absurdity.

 _"What happened to the grumpy old you? Since when did you get this funny?"_ He laughed as he hit his lap.

 _"Grumpy? I was grumpy?"_ I asked in astonishment. 

 _"Baby, that's a compliment. Don't cling too much on the grumpy word."_ He kissed my cheek.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**Back at our place...** _

_"Are you hungry?"_ He asked. _"Can I get you anything?"_

I shook my head and marched towards him. I drew him close to me as he snuggled up to my chest and gently folded his arms around my waist.

 _"You smell so good..."_ He muttered under his breath.

 _"Your hair smells better, baby."_ I sniffled at his vanilla scented blonde tresses.

In an instant, he pulled away from me and said...

_"Oh shit! I almost forgot..."_

He ambled towards the bedroom door and went inside the room. After 3 minutes, he emerged from the door and strolled his way to me. He handed over a small gift wrapped box along with a neatly folded letter. I was all agog to see what's inside the square case but I decided to flick through the papers first. _So I read his letter..._

_Dear TOP-sshi,_

_Thank you for everything. I want you to know that I appreciate all your efforts. It really means a lot to me. :) I know that being in my world hasn't really been easy for you. A bachelor who wakes up being married is not someone like you would want to experience. More so, having been wedded to a man is totally against your principles. So thank you so much for putting up with the situation and me. :)_

_I'm sorry for being hard on you. During your first few months of being here, I can't help but to expect from you. It was due to the fact that you are my husband's mirrored image. Tell me how can I not see you as him when both of you are so much identical to each other? It was so damn hard not to... I swear. :)_

_If I were to be honest, I had a difficulty setting up my limitations with you from everything that I use to do for him. It's not that I don't want to care for you... It's just that I respect you and your... Beliefs. And I never want to meddle with your way of thinking, believe me._

_People usually think that being gay is a communicable disease. That it was passable to someone no matter how straight they were. What they don't realize is that it has always been by choice. You always have the prerogative to choose whichever path you may want to take... Including the person you want to spend the rest of your life with._

_I feel that your being with me proved that one out... That I became the reason of your sudden change of preference. I'm so sorry. None of this was my intention. And if I did alter your orientation, I hope that it was more of a feeling and definitely not just out of curiosity and being stuck with the situation._

_If only I could ask the higher power to allow you and Seunghyun to stay in this world, I would've prayed for it the moment you came here. But... You and him mustn’t coexist together in one dimension. From what I've learned, it is against the rule. Your existence to our world will certainly cause an imbalance to the universe. And we cannot let that happen, you do know that right?_

_I am already married... To someone who happens to be you in this dimension. I would be a hypocrite not to admit that I wanted to keep both of you. But selfishness has never been a part of me. Both of you are so talented not to be shared to the world. So I hope that you'll continue to keep doing what you do best... And to always do whatever makes you happy. :)_

_And just as I found my other half, I am wishing you the same. :) This experience is one of the rarest occurrences that the Gods have ever allowed to happen. And we are really blessed to have been able to participate to such unearthly phenomenon._

_Maybe one of these days you will be coming back to your world... It is a fact and we cannot really do anything about it. I will be sad. I will be lonely. And I will... Miss you. Of course, I will. I might've never told you this but I am so much hoping that you know that I do love you... In my own special way. :)_

_But before that happens, I want you to have this and I hope that you can carry this gift with you as you go back to the life that you've always lived. :)_

_Time, they say, is the most precious gift that you can give to someone for you can never get it back. Thank you for giving me your time... For granting me the access to get to know the other version of my husband. Know that I will always remember you and treasure all the memories that we had together. Oh and please extend my gratitude towards GD-sshi. If Seunghyun comes back in one piece, then tell him I love him for taking care of him. But if he doesn't, I'll be hunting him down to every known dimensions of this universe. ;)_

_I hope that you are having fun in my world... Because I enjoy spending my time with you. You are the most difficult task, the wrong that felt so right, and the only person that I will allow myself to fall in love with. So let's make the most out of your stay here... And let me love you for as long as I can. :)_

_Kwon Jiyong_

He urged me to open the present and I was stunned to see what lies at the center of the box. It was a vintage Rolex watch... _The one that I had always wanted to have._

I didn't know what to say. It was like I was being engulfed by my very own emotion. I was overjoyed. I was shuddering in delight with every word from his letter as well as the beautiful timepiece in my hand. I cannot believe how overwhelmed I was from all of this... That even his fucking handwriting can make this giddy. 

But then, sadness transpired into my being. _Why do I feel like he was... Saying goodbye to me? Why do I feel like he would suddenly disappear one day and that I won't be seeing his smiling face once again?_

Little did I know that Jiyong was observing me the whole time I was reading his letter. He sat beside me, passionately wrapped his arms around me as he said...

_"Why do you look so down, baby? Did I make you sad? Was it because of... My letter?"_

I slowly turned my head towards him and stared deeply into his eyes. Despite the creeping melancholia, his troubled face made me come back to my senses. 

 _"No, no... Baby."_ I gently caressed his face. _"I was... Too happy."_ I lied.

He looked at me like a skeptic scientist and said...

_"TOP-sshi, I hope you know that I know that look."_

He leaned his head into my shoulder and continued...

 _"I... I love you. Maybe I am cheating on Seunghyun right now but... That's how I really feel about you. I never expected that I would be having this feeling towards you. No matter how hard I tried not to... My heart always betrays me. It becomes unstable... Beating so fast whenever I see you. I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you. It wasn't just because of the similarities... Honestly, I don't even like your personality."_ He laughed. _"Being with you broke every reservation I knew I had. When I married  Seunghyun, I padlocked the door to my heart... But you sneaked your way into that fucking window. So congratulations... That's where you are now residing."_

He chuckled. 

 _"I think I know what you're thinking right now. But... If tha books are not lying, I better prepare myself for your... Departure."_ He gripped my hand. _"So instead of being a sulky baby, why don't you just kiss me like how much you wanted just a while ago when I am being this cute."_

His smile melted my heart. I approached his lips as he awaits for the touch of mine on his. I gently smooched his full lips as he returned it with pleasure. I longed for this moment... _His touch... His lips... The excitement of his kiss._ Everything about him made all the cells in my body lose control.

Inch by inch, I pulled away from him. He opened his eyes and looked at me with daze. I brushed my lips against him and spoke in a deeper tone...

_"I think it's time that we move to the bedroom."_

I felt his smile against my lips as he replied...

_"Are you... Really sure that you want to... Do this?"_

I gave him a suffocating kiss to indicate my approval. I slowly detached my lips from his and held out my hand to him. He amorously smiled at me, took my hand and walked with me towards the bedroom.

It was a spectacular moment... Very overpowering and really compelling. With every stroke of his hand, my skin burned with it. And I find it really hard not to touch him without avidity. But even with the intensity of the situation, he tried to remain composed. He gingerly disentangled his fingers from my hair as he said...

 _"If something really happens tonight, I just want you to know that I am... Giving you myself with a clear mind."_ He confessed. _"And that I would have no regrets even if I see you lying next to me when I wake up in the morning. I just hope that... That won't scare you."_

I kissed him gently and answered...

_"Thank you, baby. I feel the same. Seeing you tomorrow wouldn't scare me, trust me. In fact, I am looking forward after... This."_

And while we made love under the moonlight, we missed out the passing of that glittering sky visitor. A comet was fleeting into the atmosphere at a steady pace. Some people believe that its appearance manifests a bad omen while others think of it as a lucky occasion.

But to me, its presence granted a dream to reality. I might not have wished for this intensifying feeling but this is definitely something that I'll cherish for the rest of my life.


	23. The malleability of marriage

**SEUNGHYUN's POV**

 

 _"Seung...hyun?"_ He muttered with an inquiring tone. 

 _"What is it, my love?"_ I answered drowsily.

An eerie silence followed next. 

Despite of the fatigue that I was feeling from last night's activity, I tried to open my dead tired eyes. The moment that I finally caught sight of the familiar being in front of me, my eyes blinked rapidly as I found myself face to face with the person who I have always known.

_Jiyong._

You might be wondering how I knew that it was him this time. I spent almost my entire life with him not to be able to distinguish the real one from his doppelganger. I would even recognize his silhouette no matter how far he may be.

Believe it or not, it was his hair that actually confirmed my suspicions. _The locks were blonde and has that distinct sweet-smelling scent of vanilla._  I suddenly remembered how I love to smell his hair every time we cuddled. And as I continuously inhaled the nostalgic fragrance, my brain finally accepted that the man before me is my baby, Jiyong.

I was in so much shock that I thought I had already lost my tongue. I tried to speak but no words were coming out. I was like a fish being drawn out of the water... With a mouth that open and closes as it struggled for oxygen. He looked at me in disbelief as he instantly pushed himself up to a sitting position. The cover slipped from his unclothed upper body as he gradually turned his head into my direction.

 _"It'sss... You, right?"_ He queried in astonishment.  _"You're Seunghyun now... Right?"_

 _"Bbabby?"_ I stuttered while examining his face.

In a normal scenario, if a couple experiences being away from one another for a long time, their initial approach would be kissing and hugging each other like tomorrow won't ever come. But as I looked at my life partner at this moment, I can't seem to understand why he kept looking away from me.

So to break the awkwardness, I voiced out... 

 _"Come here, baby."_ I hauled myself up to his level. _"God, Ji! How I missed you!"_  I said while closing in on him.

Unexpectedly, he moved away from my attempt and that immediately stunned my being. I was staring at him in wonder until he finally spoke... 

_"Seunghyun... I... I'm Sorry."_

I am not stupid. I wasn't born yesterday. And I think I know why he's apologizing to me. But still, I can't help but... _To feel a little disappointed in him._

_**But who am I to blame him? Who the hell do I think I was kidding when I happen to have committed the same crime as he did?** _

_"For what?"_ I pretended not to know.

He looked at me with tears threatening to fall down from his eyes. But even with my irritation, the evident misery in his eyes melted all the emotions that I was currently having.

He cleared his throat and said...  

_"Seunghyun... I... I..."_

_"You fell in love with the other me... Didn't you?"_ I finished his sentence.

This time, tears poured down on his cheeks. He sobbed like a guilty man... Like someone who had been found out by his lover.

_**And how the fuck can I let him cry like this? I can't take this.** _

I slowly crawled my way to sit opposite him as I gently wiped his tears. He flinched at my strokes but he allowed me to touch him. I gently grabbed his hand and pulled him to a hug which I was glad that he accepted. He wrapped his arms around me as he sobbed in despair.

 _"Shhh... Baby, stop crying."_ I tightly embraced him. _"I understand."_

He gradually pivoted his head up to meet my eyes as he said...

 _"I'm sorry, Seunghyun. I can't help it."_ A tear fell down from his eye. _"I tried... I tried really hard... But it's so fucking difficult..."_ He hugged me tighter.

 _"I know, baby. Please stop crying. I told you I understand."_ I soothed his back. _"I... I know the feeling... And I..."_ I breathed out.  _"Look, babe... I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It was too hard... His life was so different from me and... I was fucking craving for you. You know how much I needed you every single time, right? I can't do anything without you by my side... And he was... There."_

He instantly pulled away from me and gave me a suprised look.

 _"You were in TOP-sshi's world? You met GD-sshi?"_ His voice a little higher.

I brushed my fingers unto his cheek and gestured a nod.

 _"So... TOP told you about him, huh? Your alternate?"_ I asked in a calm manner.

He affirmed as he lowered his gaze.

 _"How was him? TOP, I mean?"_ I inquired.

He was silent. But after a minute he spoke... 

_"He was... Just like you. But... With a... Slight difference in personality."_

_"How different are we?"_ I pried.

 _"Seunghyun... This is... So uncomfortable..."_ His cheeks flushed.

 _"Actually... You are making this uncomfortable. And why aren't you calling me baby, by the way?"_ I inquired _._ _"Wait a minute... You are not calling him baby too, are you?"_ I sounded a little annoyed.

He again ducked his head and nodded.

 _"What the fuck?"_ I spat. 

 _"Kwon Jiyong, you better start calling me baby or else I will think that you are still seeing him in me."_ I exasperated.

 _"But is it okay... With you... Babe?"_ He replied hesitantly. 

 _"Alright."_ I straightened my back.  _"Let's not call each other baby anymore. God! I love calling you baby... How dare you call him that?"_ I avoided his puppy eyes. _"Okay... Let's see... I can't call you love because..."_

 _"You call him love? What the fuck, Seunghyun!"_ He vexed out.

 _"What? You call him baby... Our own fucking endearment. Atleast it's different."_ I sarcastically justified. _"And why the hell are you talking like that? Stop it with your cursing, Jiyong!"_ I glared at him.

 _"Shit! You call him love? Fuck!"_ He muttered to himself.

 _"I told you not to speak like that, didn't I?"_ I tried to keep composed.

He seemed to not mind my scolding. He kept cursing and swearing under his breath so I grabbed his arm to catch his attention. I lightly held his chin closer to my face as I uttered...

_"If you don't stop cursing and swearing like that, I will kiss you with the same amount of those annoying words that comes out of your mouth."_

His eyes looked bewildered while his eyelids kept fluttering.

 _"I'm sorry. I got... A little carried away."_ He chewed on his lip.

 _"And stop doing that! I haven't forgiven you and yet and I... Am not ready to kiss that freaking tempting lips of yours, okay? So stop biting your goddamned lips."_ I half glared at him. 

 _"And you're one to talk, Seunghyun. Who told you that I have forgiven you too?"_ He pushed me away from him and motioned to the edge of the bed.

And as he stood up, my eyes enlarged at the sight of him naked in front of me. It fucking unleashed all the rage I was trying to keep. So I breathed deeply to contain the little sanity left in me as I said to him...

_"You didn't just let him... Touch you, did you?"_

His face paled at my declaration. He hurriedly covered his nude body with the nearest clothing that he could find. He sat on the floor and directed his eyes unto it. He looked so damned pitiful as of this time. So I stood up and walked my way towards him.

_"Fuck, Ji! How could you... Give yourself to him?"_

_"And you didn't?"_ He countered while looking at my bare body. _"Who the fuck do you think you are to casually say that when you yourself did the same, huh?"_

_**Right. He was fucking right.** _

And just as I was about to apologize to him and beg for his forgiveness, he suddenly said...

_"Seunghyun, I think... I need some time."_

I was taken aback by his words. It fucking froze me right on the spot.

_**He did not just say that, did he?** _

I made him turn his full attention to me as I said...

_"You don't mean that, right? Tell me you don't mean that, baby."_

He wrestled his entrapment from my hands and replied...

_"I can't think... Straight. I don't know how to... Take this anymore."_

He wiggled his head sideways so I tried to cool him down.

 _"Baby... I mean, Jiyong... Look..."_ I fastened my hand to his. _"I know you're angry. And I am too. I know your confused... And so am I. But I don't find it enough to ruin what we have. This is definitely not a reason to allow our relationship... Our marriage, to crumble apart."_ I made clear.

Then I closed in on him and muttered...

 _"Tell me something... Do you think that there were other ways to stop that goddamned feeling? Wasn't it too irresistible... Powerful enough to even perpertrate us both to infidelity? That's why I don't blame you, Ji... Because I perfectly understand. I know where you're coming from."_ I caressed his face.  _"And as much as it kills me to know that he had... Touched you, I cannot really do anything about it, right?"_

 _"Like how I can't do anything about what happened between the two of you..."_ He retorted. _"You are right, Seunghyun... There's nothing that the both of us can do with that."_

 _"Baby, I'm sorry... I am really really sorry. I know that there isn't anything that can make this alright. But please... Please let me make it up to you."_ I begged. _"Please don't ask for time. Let's face this together, baby. Please let's... Fix it."_

He didn't look at me instead he began to sob once again.

I couldn't just let him be like that. I cannot let him weep like that. It was agonizing... And at the same time, heartbreaking. I tried to construct my words to say to him until he broke the silence and said... 

 _"Seunghyun, I'm sorry... I am so sorry."_  He drew me towards him. " _I didn't mean to ask for some time off... It's just that I... Got scared."_ He held me tighter. _"It frightens me so much that you'll get mad at me what I can't give you a justification of why I... Let that happen. I couldn't even explain to myself how and why I allowed it. But... I am sorry, Seunghyun... I don't... Actually... Regret it."_

_**So this is what they call karma.** _

_"Wait... Please... Listen to me first."_ He pleaded as he inhaled a lungful of air. _"Ttop-sshi... Is... So much like you. When we... Did... It..."_

 _"You mean, made love?"_ I sustained my voice.

He blushed as he nodded. Then he continued...

 _"When we... Made love... I thought that I was just seeing you in him. But... He was actually... You."_ He looked at me with serious eyes. _"It was like... I was... Uh... Making out with you last night. Every touch... Oh God! Baby, I can't do this."_ A blush was creeping up to his face.

 _"Every touch?"_ I urged him to proceed. 

He bashfully looked at me as I gave him a peck on the cheek as consent to proceed with his clarifications. He breathed audibly as if he was holding his breath for a long time until he said...

 _"His touch was like how burning yours was... His warmth was just so much like your own... And his kisses... Were as encaptivating as yours."_ He was all red now. _"Baby, I... I'm sorry. I was... Magnetized by him... Enthralled by his presence... To a point where it fucked up my loyalty."_

 _"So you love him just like how much you love me?"_ I seriously asked.

 _"How on earth can you say that? Of course, it's not the same, Seunghyun. It was pretty interesting, Yes. But... Very much different."_ He gave me a cagey smile. _"But... Do you happen to love GD-sshi as much as you... Love me too?"_ He stared deeply into my eyes.

I looked at him in earnest and answered...

_"You and him are different... Way different."_

_"I see. So you love him... More than me, then?"_ He dipped his head. 

_**That's it.** _

I slowly neared his face and kissed him. No matter how hard I tried to resist the temptation, I couldn't help but to immerse myself into it. It was just like the first time that I've ever kissed him... Hesitating yet addicting. And as much as I wanted to stop this weakening activity, I found myself being betrayed by my lips. It was locking up to his which only brought me so much pleasure.

The canoodling ended up into the bed. I was reigning over his body as he continuously showered me with kisses.

 _But no._ This isn't the best way to settle this issue. I knew I had to stop kissing him even if it was all I've ever wanted to do right now. I missed him! I goddamned missed my husband. 

Suddenly, I remembered the misunderstanding we had before all of this happened. So when I eventually succeeded in keeping myself from touching him, I said...

_"Ji, we need to... Talk."_

He looked at me with hazy eyes as he said...

_"Seunghyun... I hope you know that you are ruining this moment."_

_"I know... I know, baby. But... I need to... Tell you something..."_ I inhaled. 

 _"Please don't tell me that... You don't... Want to... Do this with me anymore... Because of... What happened between TOP-sshi and me."_ His eyes looked sad.

_**Oh no. He's taking this the wrong way.** _

_"No... No, baby. It's not about that..."_ I gently kissed him.  _"I swear. I understand you. And I forgive you... I am hoping that you will too."_

He exhaled loudly.

 _"Well... I am hurt, Seunghyun. But you are right. There was no other way to fight that fucking feeling. And I would rather... Talk about the... Future with you... Than the past. So... I forgive you."_ He gave me a weary smile. 

And again, I kissed him. _Damn!_ This guy has to stop being so... Alluring. We kissed until we were breathless. We held each other with yearning and desire. But...

 _We need to talk._ I have to know... And I needed to hear it from him.

As soon as we paused from our canoodling, I immediately started my so overdue speech. 

 _"Baby, listen... I don't actually keep track of how many times I have hurt you... Of course, I don't. This time I am not promising anymore... Because no matter what I do, I still hurt you... I keep on hurting you. And I'm starting to feel that I don't deserve you... That I am not the right person for you."_ I looked at him intently. _"It's been... 16 years already, babe... And I can't help but wonder if we'll be able to put up from all of this. I'm scare that you'll get bored with me... Because you know, it will always be just the two of us. That is, if you have decided not to have kids with me."_ I sighed. _"I'm afraid that one day, you'll feel like... This isn't worth it anymore... And that really scares me so much."_

_"I want to know if you're still... Happy with me, Ji. How you feel about this... Our relationship. And if you really want to... Spend the rest of your life with me just as much as I do."_

But then the alarm clock started ringing, which brought us back from our reverie. He stopped it's ringing as he turned back to me and smiled breathtakingly. He brushed my long fringe away from my face as he stared deeply into my eyes and said...

 _"I am so sorry, baby. For you to entertain those thoughts, I must've made you feel unimportant."_ His face turned serious.  _"I want you to know that I will never get tired of you and there wasn't and will never come a time that I will feel bored just being with you. The truth is, I am looking forward to see us grow old together. Doesn't a family... I mean, the thought of having our own family excites you? A kid or kids that can make our relationship stronger isn't enticing enough for you?"_ He looked at me with exhilaration. _"It will definitely be a challenge to us but we've already been thru a lot together to be so damned scared of something inevitable... Growing old. You know that we cannot really stay young forever, right? We have to keep on living... No matter what the future brings. I wonder why you're thinking about these things when you know that I will always be with you... I married you, remember? You won't ever be alone, baby. You have me... Until the day I die."_

 _"Never have I felt that what we have is not worthwhile. It is not in my personality to stick to something that is not substantial. Sixteen years is not a joke. And actually, it is the best part of my life... My treasure. Spending it with you made all the difference in me. I am here now because of you... You are my inspiration and my will to live."_ He beamed at me.

 _"I know I sound lame and corny... But I just want you to know that I can't wait to see how gorgeous you look in gray hair, to drool over your still-handsome wrinkling face in the years to come, to hear your complaints about how often your body aches because of aging, and to enjoy my remaining time with you until God decides that it's time for me to part with you._ _"_ He kissed my lips and finally said, _"I love you... So damned much, Seunghyun. And I am not allowing anything... Even the universe to destroy what we've built for years... This lifetime partnership."_

I didn't know that I was crying until Jiyong thumbed up those tears that were running down my cheeks. I tried to hold it in... But his words were so overwhelming. He is the only person that can make me cry like this out of happiness. I hugged him tighter as I cried on his shoulder. He caressed my back while saying...

 _"Baby, stop crying. You are soaking the pillow."_ He laughed. _"Now where's the necklace that I gave you way back 2006? Didn't I tell you to always wear it? To remind you that you are the owner of my heart?"_ He pinched my cheek. _"TOP-sshi might've successfully climbed it's window but what the hell... You and him are one person to me. Two same people who exists in two different worlds."_

He chortled.

 _"But tell me something, Seunghyun... What made you think about those things? I understand that I failed to show you my enthusiasm in making this relationship work... How did you arrive with those thoughts?"_ He looked at me keenly.

I thought about it hard as I tried to remember how I ended up with these reflections. So I constructed my words and responded...

 _"I don't know... Babe. There was a time when my mind tried to reason withe me. I was dared to justify how much I really wanted to be with you. I ended up sleepless and weary.. As I look for answers. Of course, I love you. It's a solid and valid reason... But we're not kids anymore. We're in a long-term commitment already. And I want to hear my reason now. I want to know how I perceive this relationship... In a more matured way."_ I looked at him sincerely. 

 _"Then this... Happened. This strange incident actually made me remember the person whom I fell in love with so deeply. The person I am willing to surrender everything. And that's how I found my way back to you. I've come to realize that it's not about finding the right person... Nor being the right one... It's about learning to love the person you found... Keeping in mind of the love that you've always cherished... And to accept the flaws of the one you chose to love."_ I cried.

He embraced me securely as he said... 

_"You know, baby... It's okay to sometimes forget. We're only human and it's natural for us to be vulnerable at times. Thank you for telling me this. My thoughts are the same. We have to accept that no one's perfect. And by the being said, the right person doesn't exist. The choice is always upon us... Whether we want them to be the right one or not. It's a matter of acceptance... Of the things that we can't change... And to learn to appreciate the one that's in front of us."_

He gazed deeply into my eyes as he said...

 _"I have never been sure about anything in my life except when I chose to love you. I'm really sorry for making you feel that way... It will never happen again... I SWEAR! I want this to work... So can we start all over again?"_ He gave me a kiss. _"This time, it'll be better. I love you, Seunghyun... And I will never stop doing so."_

We kissed as if it would be the last time. While I poured my heart out onto my lips, he did the same. We paused just for us to breathe. But then suddenly, his eyes turned serious as he said...

 _"But you know what? I think... I... Made him... Gay."_ He said with worried eyes.

I laughed. I couldn't help but to laugh at his revelation. He looked at me like I was going out of my mind until I spoke...

 _"Believe me, baby... You're worth changing perferences for."_ I gave him a peck on the lips. _"That's actually good news... Now I don't feel guilty for withdrawing a huge amount of money from his fat bank account. After all... He fucking screwed you, goddamned that bastard!"_

 _"What did you just say?"_ He stared at me incredulously.

 _"I'm sorry, babe. He deserved that. He owed me. But I do hope that he doesn't freak out when he wakes up today."_ I grinned mischievously.

 _"SEUNGHYUN!"_ He yelled. 

 _"I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it, babe."_ I chuckled as I enveloped him to a hug. _"But you know what I realized, babe? I think that we just helped those two to finally be together."_ I smiled widely at him. _"If I am correct, maybe by now they'd realize that there's hope in their forbidden feelings for each other. If TOP likes you... I am sure he would feel the same way with GD."_

His cheeks tinted pink.

 _"You are really that confident in me huh, babe? Wait... I think we should stop calling each other baby now, shouldn't we?"_ He said while thinking hard about something. _"Love. I think I'll call you love."_ He smiled sarcastically.

 _"No. We are not calling each other love."_ I opposed. _"Oh I know... How about I call you, Darling? Now that's cute."_ I chuckled.

 _"Hell no. Your tastes got disfigured, sweetheart... Ahhh... I'll call you sweetheart from now on. That's wayyy cuter."_ He chortled.

 _"No way in hell you're going to call me that! That's... Corny!"_ I retaliated.

 _"But... But it's cute... Sweetheart, I like it."_  He nuzzled up to my neck. 

 _"Alright."_ I kissed him gently. " _How about I call you, Darling... And you call me, sweetheart? You okay with that, Darling?"_ I laughed softly.

 _"I would love that, sweetheart."_ He kissed my lips fervently.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
And finally, I am back... _Back to the life that I am used to._ Well, I did enjoy the life that my alternate has but I guess... I was more suited to be a married businessman than an artist. I must say that these weird instances had brought me and Jiyong so much realization about us and our relationship. But the best part of it all was that it only made our marriage stronger.

Sometimes, Jiyong and I would talk about our bizarre experience. We would laugh out loud when we try to sort out our differences with our doubles. He would even tease me to death whenever I talk about GD... And I would also do the same.

What just happened to us proved our relationship to be malleable. No matter how much you hammer it out and place it into tremendous pressures, it will never break nor crack. As our marriage underwent a lot of alterations and control from both outside and universal influences, it stayed invincible... _Able to withstand the hardships that was thrown at its way._ I realized that as long as we're together, nothing and no one can break this commitment we pledged our whole lives into.

And as much as we helped those two repellent beings to figure out their feelings for one another, they also gave us the opportunity to rekindle our love for each other just by allowing us to get to know our alternate versions. Despite the differences, the gravitational pull of attraction and love made us experience the best kind of love one can ever have.

If you think about it, the love and hate bond that we all have for each other was actually a give and take relationship... I made GD experience the love that he had longed for while Jiyong managed to break out most of TOP's reservations when it comes to commitments. I just hope that they wouldn't keep that love to themselves and would one day have the courage to profess their true feelings for one another.

And for that, I am praying... To the Gods that had allowed this strange phenomena to happen... _That they would really end up together._ And that they may always find the happiness that they truly deserve. 

_As for GD, I would never forget the one-of-a-kind dimensional love that the both of us shared. I had definitely cheated on Jiyong, but I was so glad that it was with GD this time. I really had a blast in his world because actually, meeting him was one of the best things that ever happened to my life._

  
**END**


	24. The morning after

**TOP's POV**

 

 _I couldn't afford to wake you up so I am leaving you this note.  
  
Thank you for last night, my love. I made you some breakfast, by the way (if you can even call that breakfast ^_^) so please just... Bear with it. ^_^  
  
I'll call you up at 10. Can't wait to see you at the studio. ^_^  
  
I love you.  
  
GD_  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The early morning wakeup call was the worse that I've ever had in my entire life. I meant what I said last night... That I was really looking forward to see the man of my dreams the moment I opened my eyes. But... There was no Jiyong to cuddle with right now. _No one to touch... To canoodle with... To kiss breathlessly... And to make love with._ My heart grieved upon finding out that I am back to my real world. And I unexpectedly cried when the thought finally sank in... I woke up alone, without him lying next to me.

I began to rummage my mind of the clues that might've been the signal to my coming back. I mean, how the fuck did I get thrown back to this world just when I was already having the time of my life? How the fuck can this happen right now? During the most eventful moment of my life?

_**So that's why there was that feeling last night... The letter was already a giveaway.** _

I remembered the sadness I felt when I read Jiyong's letter. At first, I didn't understand why that emotion suddenly occurred even if Jiyong was just a touch away from me. Good thing he talked me out of it or else I would've ruined the best night that I've ever had with him.

As I cleared my face from tears, I combed my hair with my fingers and swept the fringe away from my eyes. That's when I finally noticed that I was still wearing the watch that he gifted me last night.

A tear fell down from my eye. I can't believe that I am too fucking emotional this day. I felt unstable... The emotions were uncontrollably pouring out thru my eyes. And as I continued to weep like a fucking kid, the second glimpse at that beautiful vintage timepiece finally caused me to stop crying. It suddenly brought me so much joy even by just looking at it. It not just confirmed the reality of that unearthly incident, but also made me experience the love that I thought I never deserved.

But then, a ring from my mobile phone made me come back to my senses. As I checked upon the caller id, it instantly shivered my spine.

**LOVE**

_**What the fuck? Should I... Answer it?** _

I stared at my phone for 30 seconds until I can no longer take it anymore. The ringing was really so fucking annoying. So I glided my thumb across the screen and answered the goddamned call.

 _"Hello?"_ I monotonously greeted. 

 _"Oh hi, Love!"_ He ecstatically replied.

I couldn't find myself answering back to him. Of course, I was right. I got fucking swapped with Seunghyun. Millions of thoughts were now running through my mind... _Jiyong and I's relationship, Seunghyun as his husband and my doppelganger, the crazy best friends, the life without fame along with its comfort and convenience, the best make out ever, and now GD, with his fucking endearment._

 _"Are you awake now, my love?"_ He asked with worry.  

_**Am I going to pretend to be Seunghyun... Again?** _

_"Seunghyun!"_ He yelled.

The second he called out my name, I found myself being dragged back to reality because I happen to like it the most when Jiyong calls me by my real name. And this guy, _with his same voice,_ immediately drew my attention to him. 

 _"Wha..t?"_ The only word I could muster up to say.

There was an uncanny silence from the other line. And right about 3 minutes, he began to speak... 

_"Are you... Okay, Seunghyun?"_

_"Yeah."_ I replied hastily.

 _"Did you eat already?"_ He inquired.

 _"No. I just woke up."_ I simply answered.

 _"Oh...kay. Uh... You need to be here before 12 noon. Do you want me to... Pick you up?"_ He offered.

 _"No. I'll just see you there."_ I declined.

 _"Oh okay."_ He sound disappointed. _"I'll... See you here, then."_

 _"Okay."_ I said without adornment.

 _"Okay. I... I love... You."_ He stammered.

He hung up.

_**So they have a relationship like this, huh? Wait... I have a fucking relationship with GD? Fucking shit!** _

____________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
 _ **At the YG Building...**_

I was the last one to come to that fucking meeting. As might be expected, I have no idea what the hell the assembly was all about because I happen to be in a different world for I don't fucking know how long.

**_It wasn't just a month… That I'm sure. Was it 6 months? A year? Fuck! I really don't have an idea because every time I was with Jiyong, time seemed to fly so fast. Oh God! Jiyong..._ **

I wasn't aware that I was about to knock into a pillar when someone suddenly grabbed my arm to prevent the collision.

 _"Why are you spacing out at this hour, love?"_ His face was anxious _. "Are you really okay? I can tell them you're sick and..."_

 _"I'm fine, Ji."_ I interrupted.

He gave me a surprised look. He sighed deeply as he changed the topic.

 _"So how was the breakfast? Oh! I see that you dyed your hair! You look good in that hair color, my love."_ He smiled, just like how Jiyong does.

He continued to stroke my cheek and gave it a kiss.

_**I swear. This is so fucking awkward.** _

But no matter how creepy this may seem to be, I couldn't seem to move away from his flirtations. Can you imagine him being this... Expressive with his feelings? I mean, this is GD... _The 2nd most reserved guy I've ever known, someone who was just like my best friend, the person who I grew up with, and the leader of the group I belong to._ This is so not him to just flirt like that in public.

I knew about his admiration for me... But he's not stupid to be open like this. We had been linked for a thousand times already. And thankfully, that issue had been contained not just by the both of us but also our agency. _But that was just... A fan service. I think? No. I am certain that it was just a fan service. Nothing more, nothing less._ There is no way in both heaven and hell that he would allow such craziness to happen.

But...

If I were to be honest, it was hard not to look at him as the guy who had captured my heart. His perfectly similar face with Jiyong is way too fucking much just for me to just ignore. So I replied...

 _"It was... Okay. Not really pleasant to look at but it was good. Thank you... Ji."_ I tried to lighten up the mood.

He looked at me in shock as he slowly detached his hand from my face. He lowered his head as he gripped the hems of his shirt.

_**Now that is just so GDragon.** _

I can't help but to smile at this young man's shy state. And just as I was about to near him...

_"Hyung! Oh wow! You dyed your hair again!"_

It was Seungri.

 _"Hello TOP-hyung!"_ Daesung greeted with enthusiasm.

I bowed my head as an acknowledgement. And as I waited for Youngbae's greeting, he instead looked at me with such weird eyes.

_**What's wrong with this dude?** _

I was about to say hello to him when GD held my hand unto his and said...

_"How about we all go to the meeting? I want this shit wrapped up the soonest."_

The rest of the members looked at our laced hand as they all nodded. _Damn! Their hands are really so much alike! Can't fucking help it!_  And while I tightened my grip on GD's hand, Taeyang suddenly said... 

_"Hyung, can we... Talk?"_

__________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
 _"I can't believe that you and Ji are now... Official."_

_**What the fuck? He knew?** _

And because I can't seem to reply at his prying, he continued...

 _"Ji and I had already talked about this a while ago. I told him that I wasn't angry about the fact that you and him are finally going steady now. Having to hide it from us is what really pissed me off. Were you seriously considering of making this a secret from us?"_ He frowned. _"We had been together for a long time now, hyung. We are a group... If such matters happen, you should know that we should be the first one to know. I mean, this is a serious issue, hyung. How the hell can we help you guys if things get out of hand again just like the last time?"_ His face was anxious. _"I am just concerned about you and Ji... I hope you're not taking this the wrong way."_

_**Who the fuck wouldn't be? I can't believe this! How could GD tell them about this? But wait... How much do they really know about all this shit?** _

_"Hyung! Can you please stop... Spacing out?"_ He scolded. _"I wish you'd tell me that you guys we're just messing with us yesterday. But I'd rather have you attest to it right now than see GD breaking his heart."_

_**Break... His... Heart? He'll get his heart... Broken? Because of... Me?** _

_"Goddamn it, hyung! Speak up! I am not doing a monologue here!"_ He yelled.

I composed my thinking and said...

 _"I... I guess... We are... Together... Now?"_ I voiced like a question.

He scrutinized my face for 5 minutes until he finally spoke...

 _"Now why does your answer seem like a question to me? You're not sure about... It? What the hell, hyung!"_ He vexed out.

_**How in fucking hell can I respond to his inquiries when I don't fucking know how it happened?** _

I was trying to make up an excuse to get away from this situation when GD decided to intervene with our conversation.

 _"Bae, please... Stop it. I thought we settled this already? I answered everything you've asked of me so there's no need to interrogate Seunghyun about this."_ He said with finality.

_**Seunghyun? He's addressing me by my real name? In front of Youngbae? What the hell happened while I was gone? What did Seunghyun do to him?** _

_"And why don't you just let me do my job, Ji? I am your fucking best friend, am I not? And also, I happen to be TOP hyung's friend too... So don't tell me to just keep my ass out."_ He reasoned out. _"Look, you two... I don't mean to appear like a villain to your... Relationship, okay? I do support you, I swear. I am really happy for you. But... I am also... Worried... Super worried about you guys."_ He breathed out. _"I am not trying to jinx whatever you guys share with each other... But if worse comes to worse, I am hoping that you have already anticipated everything that may or may not happen. And that you are ready for anything that may come up."_ He explained.

_**Speechless.** _

Just when I thought that I had already eaten my tongue, GD broke the soundlessness and spoke in a calm manner.

 _"Thank you, Bae. You really are my bestest fucking friend in the whole universe."_ He smiled widely _. "I appreciate your concern and I am taking your words by heart, believe me. But... I am... So damned happy right now."_ His cheeks tinted pink. _"I did tell you about my... Feelings for him, right? I didn't keep it a secret from you. And as much as I'm scared as hell, I am not... Letting him go... Whatever happens."_ He blushed furiously.

_**Did he really just... Say that?** _

I cannot just let him do this alone. After all, we are both in this together. It might be Seunghyun who committed himself to him but still, _I am the Choi Seunghyun of this world._

What I did next shocked the two men in front of me. I walked over GD's place and stood behind him. I circled my arms into his waist and pulled him towards me. I gently rested my chin unto his right shoulder as I said to Taeyang...

 _"Nothing worth having comes easy. I don't want to look at those worse scenarios anymore for I won't have the heart to continue this with Ji."_ I joked while I pecked his cheek.

He again blushed hard at my teasing. Then I continued...

 _"But... If we are to face those mess ups in the future, I promise you, Bae... I won't let go of your best friend."_ I gave him my best smile. _"I will do my best to protect him, care for him, and to... Love him to the best of my abilities. So... Can you give us your... Blessing?"_

A smile slowly wormed out of Taeyang's lips. He chuckled at my speech as he said...

_"Hey, Kwon! Stop being like a tomato right now... You're fucking obvious, goddamn it! You should practice containing your giddiness or else hell will break loose upon you two. Do you want that to happen?"_

_"Fuck you, Bae. Stop... Teasing me."_ He glared at him.

As soon as the situation lightened, I gave GD a tight embrace. He instantly tensed at my action so I decided to make him turn to me. And I found myself in awe as I stared at his cute state... _With cheeks flaring up like a fucking red strawberry._

 _"I bet the GTOP fandom would go ballistic if you guys would flirt like that in front of the camera..."_ Taeyang chortled. _"But try to keep your hands off of each other once in a while, okay? Try not to be obvious..."_ He said while looking at GD intently.

 _"Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? I wasn't the first who initiated it at this time..."_ He kissed my cheek.

And I kissed him back on the lips.

_**God! It felt the same. I feel like I am kissing Jiyong right now. Fuck the comparison! I should know better. He and him are just one person... Separated by two distinct universes.** _

He was the one who pulled back from the lock up. He was blushing wildly as his eyes sparkled in anticipation. He stroke my cheek and gave me another impassioned kiss. I cannot believe that I am now doing this kind of fondling with our group's leader. He's really acting like Jiyong right now. And as much as I wanted to cuddle with him some more, Taeyang decided to break our trance as he said...

_"Can you please... Stop doing that in front of me?"_

Both of us laughed.

 _"Sorry."_ I gave him a shy smile.

 _"Alright. Let's finish this up. Or I wouldn't be able to stop myself... And you know what I mean by that, Bae."_ He winked at Taeyang.

_"Damn, Ji! Can you at least be a little... Reserved? Aren't you embarrassed to say that in front of hyung?"_

I chuckled.

 _"Well, I like him that way... I like how... Expressive he is now."_ I smiled at GD. _"And I wish that he had been honest with me from the moment he acknowledged his feelings."_

GD gawked at me as if he doesn't know me. He continued to examine my face like a hawk and eventually uttered...

_"Well... I had been expressive to my feelings ever since I can remember. He... Just kept batting an eye over it."_

He stared deeply into my eyes as I countered...

 _"Well, you can't blame me. You are a well-known teaser, Ji. How the hell can I differentiate a real one from the pretentions?"_ I nuzzled unto his hair.

He unexpectedly moved away from my effort to stay close to him. I casted him curious stare as he detangled himself from my arms.

_"Come on. Let's go. I think they're already waiting for us."_

He motioned towards the hallway without looking at me. He didn't even waited for me or even held unto my hand like how he kept on doing an hour ago. As Taeyang went ahead of us, he blocked my way and said...

 _"Hy...ung... Is it... You?"_  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The meeting ended. Seungri invited us to have dinner together but GD declined and told the others that he was tired and would just want to rest at home. And because they knew about our relationship, it was expected that he'll be teased to death. Taeyang kept telling him that he should at least be a little discreet with his longing for me and not to be so damned obvious with his feelings. On the other hand, Seungri and Daesung just picked on him. Of course, he was shamefaced. But instead of contesting against them, he kept his mouth shut and just smiled sarcastically at them.

We all went down the parking lot while laughing along Seungri's silliness. While the 4 of us went on making fun of each other, GD was unexpectedly silent as he continuously avoided my eyes. The second the elevator opened, he swiftly paced towards his car without even turning back to look at me.

_**This is so not him.** _

_"Hey, Ji... Wait."_ I called him out.

He unlocked his car and hopped inside the driver's seat. I opened the opposite door and leapt unto the passenger seat. He started the engine and turned on the car's heater but then again... He never once looked at me.

_**What the hell is wrong with him?** _

_"Ji... What's... Wrong? Why aren't you... Talking to me?"_

He continued to fish around his surroundings. So I grabbed his wrist to make him focus on me. Then all of a sudden, he removed his arm from my grip and massaged the place that I've touched. _An exquisitely, well crafted watch was peeking from his sleeve._

 _"That's a fine wrist watch you have there, Ji. I didn't know that you were interested with subtle accessories like that..."_ I grinned.

He gave me a blank stare as he answered...

_"You... He... Gave it to me."_

_**What? He also gave him a watch?** _

I deliberately looked at him as well as the gift on his arm until I finally said...

_"Let me guess... It was a thank you gift for your time too, am I correct?"_

It was now his turn to look appalled. This time, I took the opportunity to question him of the things  that I had been meaning to ask from the moment I saw his note on my side table.

 _"How did it happen? The relationship that you and... Seunghyun have?"_ I examined his reaction.

 _"Hyu..ng, let's just... Forget about it. I am... Glad to have you... Back."_ He gave me a cagey smile.

 _"Really? You don't look happy to me, Ji."_ I opposed.

Then I breathed out loudly and spoke in a mild tone...

 _"So you would rather have a... Relationship with him... Than with me?"_ I raised a brow.

As much as my statement shocked him, he instead scowled at me and said...

_"Don't you dare make fun of my feelings. Get the fuck out of my car."_

_"No."_ I said firmly. _"Tell me how he managed to bring out those feelings from you... The love that the other me had made you feel. Tell me how he broke out all the control in you... Showing off those kinds of affection towards me. Tell me... How the hell he succeeded in making you fall for him like this... You, being so madly in love with him."_ I gazed into his eyes.

His eyes suddenly turned misty. He directed his attention in front as a soft chuckle came out of his mouth and replied...

_"Did you really think that it just happened like that? That he made me feel this way without your... Help? That I... Just fell in love with him without wishing that he was you? You are fucking stupid if that's your interpretation of this."_

_"Being with him made me hate you... Because as far as I can remember, I never failed to show you my feelings right from the start. But... You continued to ignore it. How can you be so fucking blind about it? That it wasn't just for show? That I fucking... Love you from the very beginning?"_ He cried.

 _"I considered his existence to be an opportunity... To finally have the chance to commit myself with you... Thru him. Unfortunately, I got so fucking envious of his love for Jiyong... The kind of love that I had wished you have for me. But then... I found myself being mocked by that opportunity. Because I know that... I can never have him. He's fucking married."_ He dunked his head. _"He may have loved me... But I... I never had his heart in full."_

He wiped out his tears and mumbled...

_"How great of a bastard is he! He got Seunghyun's heart and now... Yours. Fucking Jiyong!"_

I unintentionally laughed at his ranting which made  his head swiveled into my direction in a hasty manner. If it came from someone else... Those freaking cruel words, I would've punched that person before he can even finish his sentence.

But it was from him... **From GD.** _The man who had caused my first identity crisis... The guy who has that big amount of love to share with me no matter how much I stupidly disregarded it... And the person who I never thought would love me this crazy much._

I finally realized that it wasn't really Jiyong who had ignited that change in my orientation, it was GD. I was that stupid not to acknowledge it... I kept looking past it... Turning a blind eye into it.

**_How in the world did I not see this? Did my heart turn cold and ignorant when it comes to love? I think... It did._ **

I decided to stop myself from zoning out to finally confront the situation. I closed in on him and slowly motioned towards his lips. I already knew what he was thinking... _That I was again teasing him just like the usual._ So the moment he moved away from me, I trapped his face and kissed him passionately. This time, there was nothing on my mind but only him... _GD._

As we stopped from the breathless kissing, I said...

_"I am so sorry for being stupid... For not taking your love seriously."_

I brushed my lips unto his.

_"It wasn't because I was scared nor ready to commit again... It's just that... I don't want to freak you out, Ji. I mean, you've been thru a lot already. I've seen you being devastated as hell as well as getting depressed as fuck. And as much as I wanted to share your burdens, I was afraid that... If I showed you... How I feel about you... It would only make things worse."_

_"Your heartaches killed me. Your sadness fucked up my thinking... Even that smile of yours overruled my goddamned straight preference. And because I didn't have the strength to fight against my heart, I had no choice but to shut down the feelings that I have for you. It was hell, Ji. I was in... Pain. But I knew I had to protect you... Even if I can no longer feel anything for someone anymore."_

_"Just as I thought that I had forgotten about it, the swapping happened. I met you... A very different version of you. A Kwon Jiyong who had the heart to break through me... Someone who unchained the fucking door to my closed heart. I was convinced that... That damned organ had already died a long time ago but then... It started beating again. And for that, I will always be grateful to him."_ I smiled at him.

 _"You told me that you hate me because of Seunghyun, right? Well, let me ask you something, Ji... Don't you think that having the chance to meet our alternates opened up a possibility for us? That there's hope to this... Forbidden love that we have for each other? And that we simply have to take the risk and allow ourselves to be happy?"_ I caressed his cheek. _"I don't know about you... But I've decided to take my chance with you now. Even if you reject me a hundred times, I will never back down on you... I will show you that you are now the reason for my happiness... And that you are worth every risk I am about to take."_

_"The love that I found from another you made me realize that I was already in love with you even from the very start. He was a dream but you were my reality. You were the Kwon Jiyong of my world. And I cannot believe that the love I have always wanted was just right in front of me. If I were to regret anything in my life right now, it would be the part where I chickened out on telling you how I had always felt about you."_

He cried.... A cry that caused an irregularity to my beating heart. But even if it broke out all the sanity in me, I allowed him to weep because I knew that he needed that. And the moment he stopped crying, he hugged me tighter than he ever did and said...

 _"Funny how I told Seunghyun that I'm gonna whack that fucking brain of yours if you happen to have the same feelings for me. But... Thank you."_ He smiled. _"Thank you for telling me this. I had longed to hear this from you. And today, you fucking wired my brain circuits. No words can describe how I am feeling as of the moment."_

He nuzzled up to my neck as my arms wrapped around him.

 _"So... Now that it's settled... Do I still need to... Ask you out? Do you want me to... Court you?"_ I pecked him on the cheek.

Even with the dimness of our surroundings, I spotted a change in his color. His cheeks were furious... From pale to red.

 _"Uhh... That would be nice."_ He teased. _"But... I was told not to be obvious. I'm afraid that if you... Do that... I won't be able to contain my emotions."_

We both laughed.

 _"Let's just skip it... We're way past the getting-to-know-each-other stage."_ He grinned. _"I'm gonna start by calling you love from now on... And you better get used to it."_

I pulled myself away from and looked at him with an arched brow.

 _"No. Not love... I prefer calling you, baby."_ I smirked.

 _"Noooo. Not that fucking pet name..."_ He screamed.

 _"You see... It suits you. You're such a whiney baby."_ I pinched his cheek. _"That's it. I'm calling you baby... Whether you like it or not."_  I finalized.

 _"Fine."_ He retorted. _"But like it or not... I'm calling you love. And that's final."_

  
**END**

 


	25. Epilogue

_**Love starts with IDEALS...** _

_"... He does know how to cater my needs. He knew how to keep my thinking straight while the world plays with my sanity. He knew how to protect my ego and my... Preference. He takes mental notes in everything I say and do... Like he has this photographic memory that literally remembers everything that I do." - TOP_

_"GD loves talking... And I love people who challenge my ideas. GD is always the center of attention... But even with his being the focal point, I was always his person of interest..." - Seunghyun_

_**Next is ATTRACTION...** _

_"... The smile that could spellbind a person. A smile that can create a tingling sensation in the stomach. A weapon that can silence anyone who has the privilege of seeing it. And the smile that has always been his best accessory. I never once told GD how I loved his smile knowing how much of a fucking tease he is." - TOP_

_"And then, we were finally called out. The crowd screamed as we made our entry into the stage. Jiyong looked natural. He was standing there fabulously along with that breathtaking smile. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him until he happened to look at my direction and puckered." - Seunghyun_

_**Followed by INFATUATION...** _

_"I can't believe that I am actually excited to see that fucking guy who tormented me for 2 weeks. Yes... For two full weeks. I can't believe that I am still functioning even though I spent all of my wit just to plan a strategy on how to win that fucking bastard." - TOP_

_"And because we have to be private, GD suggested to have the session at my villa. Of course, I can't only help but to conform with his demand... I've always adored his eagerness especially when he gets excited over things." - Seunghyun_

_**With a little bit of COMPLICATION...** _

_""You want me to fucking stop my feelings for you but you keep on... Making me fall for you. You know what, fuck it. I'm not gonna stop this no matter how much you beg me to... And since there's no way I'm gonna let this end anytime soon... I'm gonna have to fight for this feeling... Do you get me? I will fight for you... With or without your help."." - TOP_

_"Why is he mad, anyway? As far as I can remember, I was the one who got ignored the whole day. I was the one waiting for him to give me some attention. So why is he taking this on me?" - Seunghyun_

_**And finally ends up with FALLING IN LOVE...** _

_"I longed for this moment... His touch... His lips... The excitement of his kiss. Everything about him made all the cells in my body lose control." - TOP_

_"As much as I wanted to watch the visiting fireball, my eyes couldn't help but to get glued on GD's face... The face that made me commit adultery. Haha! Kidding aside, he was the most difficult test that I had ever encountered. And for that, it made me love him... Maybe not the same as how much I love Jiyong but enough to be my gratifying sacrifice." - Seunghyun_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Love comes at an unexpected time. Often than not, the person we are meant to be with most of the time, turns out to be a shock to us. Why? It's either we are blinded by our ideals... The qualities of a perfect partner or we just don't want to dive into the risk of putting our hearts on the line._

_*While TOP has a criteria for his special someone, Seunghyun, on the other hand, is prepared to bravely give out all of his love for his chosen one. But despite of that disparity, they both ended up loving the same person... Surrendering themselves to that spectacular feeling called LOVE.*_

_It is a powerful force of nature that no matter how much we set up some standards, we still find ourselves strongly attracted to that someone who we thought was never right for us. It is an intense feeling that a person always has a hard time controlling. A deeper kind of affection that no one can seem to get a hang of. And by that being said, it messes up not only our way of thinking but also our principles._

_*There were no extrasensory perception that triggered the two of them from falling in love. Everything was documented... With concrete evidences. What their senses told them, their hearts took it as a hint... If it were to allow the feeling to penetrate into their beings. And no matter how much these two identical human beings fend off that disturbing emotion, they only found themselves being magnetized to it... Drowning all of their fundamentals which nearly killed their rationality.*_

_Each individual is unique, they say. That may be the reason why we all have our own interpretations of love. There's no right or wrong with our manner of expression because our approach is what defines our relationship. If you won't work with it, it won't ever bloom. Even you yourself wouldn't experience it the fullest._

_*The moment that they finally understood what the unsettling emotion was, they did what were against their ground rules. They submerged themselves into the feeling along with the risks that came with it. They both realized that it's better not to antagonize the feeling... After all, it was so overwhelming... Leaving them wonderstruck.*_

_And for it to grow, challenges are needed. Risks are taken along with cooperation. While relationship is synonymous to partnership, to compromise is also a must._

_*It takes two to tango. One cannot do something without the help of another. GD and Jiyong's love was their reaction from the affection that TOP and Seunghyun had bestowed upon them. It was only natural to give out the same amount of love that was conferred on them... Until it became too powerful to be contained.*_

_*******************************************************************************************************_

_**"Someday, I will have the courage to run away from this misery... To stop these confusions and pursue the person whom I had never expected to love."** _

_As for TOP, that day finally came. He was now secretly living on it... With the Jiyong of his world. He may have been late to realize his feelings for him but he was sure that starting today, he won't ever let go of the love that he had found._

_**"If you and that person are fated to be together, the whole universe will coincide with you and give you their blessing. Ideals mean nothing when you learn to love the person you found."** _

_Even before he married him, Seunghyun already knew that Jiyong was the one... The right person he'd want to give his forever to. The experience again proved of the love that the two of them have for each other. And this time, he swore his fidelity to him... Making him the one and only owner of his heart until the day he dies._

 

**END**


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